Notsoboo Reviews

Don't Go Near the Park (1979)

Heed My Warning!

[19 February 2003]

I read the warnings online. Despite them, I stupidly went out and rented this piece of garbage. Wow. I've been let-down by a movie before, but never by a movie I had no expectations for anyway. This was just bad. First of all, the intro takes place "12,000 years ago"... which would make the characters 10,000 years older than Christ, but they speak VERY good American English... wow. THAT'S an impressive feat, almost as impressive as going on a 12,000 year-long murdering spree and not being caught once. Another impressive feat would have to be the awesome special effects they used to show aging... which were the exact same effects used in The Wolf Man almost 40 years prior to this. Incredible. [sarcasm]

Yes folks, this movie includes it all: bad acting, stupid effects, weak plot, and best of all, two 12,000 year old murderers, everything. The only thing this movie has going for it, in my opinion, is that it's hard to find.

Terror Toons (2002 Video)

Terror-ble Toons

[29 August 2002]

I'm a big fan of campy horror, but this was just lame. The acting seemed worse than in most other stuff in this genre... and everyone just sort of seemed like they weren't having much fun making the film. The humor is mildly amusing (at best) and the special effects are pretty good, but the animation (if you can call it that) was really bad. And don't bother watching the bloopers... unless you're interested in watching the hero attempt to spit 3 or 4 times. They're not that funny either.

My friends and I usually have a LOT of fun renting and making fun of movies like this. We should've skipped this one.

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

The Single Greatest Film Of All Time

[10/10 · 27 January 2002]

This film has greatness written all over it. Why it does not have a higher user rating is beyond me. C'mon everybody! Let's make it #1 again!

The film is adapted quite well from Lord of the Rings novels. It's definately a movie for someone who has read the books before, as a few key sequences were left out, but for time's sake, I'm sure (c'mon people, it's 3 hours long as it is!). However, this is not to say that a newcomer to the series cannot enjoy it. It is the most powerful film I've ever seen. I loved it from the opening sequence to the closing frames. It was well-directed (thanks to a long-time favorite director of mine, Peter Jackson), well-acted, well-written (I loved the books, and I loved the script), and incredibly well-edited. The effects are amazing. This is one of those films with justification for all the special effects, and they use them very wisely. They are not overdone in the least... they are very true to the book. And the music... wow. VERY powerful score by Howard Shore.

If you ever want to do an experiment on how a good director progresses, rent Bad Taste (Peter Jackson's first and another one of my favorites) then go see this while Bad Taste is still fresh in your mind. You won't believe your eyes. Beautiful!

I gave this a 10/10! How could I not?