florianeaud Reviews

Ahsoka: Part Eight: The Jedi, the Witch and the Warlord (2023) Season 1, Episode 8

And nothing of value was added

[2/10 · 4 October 2023]

This is it. The grand finale of Ahsoka, definitely one of the shows of all time. This was definitely a show. There were some lights, some words, some moving blobs of flesh or metal. And many, many failed attempts at storytelling.

Plotline? Closure? You'll find none of it here. The most interesting character of this show, Baylan Skoll (not a high bar mind you) pulls a Luke Skywalker and appears for a grand total of 12 seconds, without a single line. Shin Hati suffers the same treatment. And Morgan Elsbeth complete her arc of being there by dying there.

Hopefully, we have Thrawn! And once again, he's completely useless and out of his depths. He's content to just stand before a map, send his troops one by one to their death, pretend it's all part of his masterplan and looking smug about it. Although that last part he can't even get right this time, as his lameness starts to frustrate him as well now.

Gone are the days where the words consequences or threat meant anything. Bombarded by a Star Destroyer? Just ride through. Attacked by TIE fighters? Just stand there, they'll miss a non-moving target. Surrounded by dozens of Stormtroopers? Don't worry, they won't shoot you in the back, not even when you're fighting a witch and you're wide open. Remember when even the most powerful of Jedi Masters were killed when facing a dozen Clones? Man, I miss those days.

Sabine still won't face any repercussion for her betrayal, but that goes without saying. How could a purple haired lady face any sort of consequence for her terrible decisions in a Disney show. Ezra is still kept in the dark about how she found him, and Ahsoka calls her antics a gamble. A good decision which led to them finding Ezra. Even though Sabine thought she was dead when she gave the map to Baylan, and that she would be ten times dead if Ahsoka didn't show up. And never mind that now Thrawn has been unleashed on the galaxy, everything they ever fought for is at stake, and that millions of people will most likely die even if they manage to stop the Grand Admiral. All that because poor little Sabine felt sad and alone. Taking it upon herself? Accepting Ezra's sacrifice? Finding solace in the freedom and peace trillions of people enjoy? Nah, your feelings are way more important, honey.

An entire season just for Thrawn to issue a command, go into hyperspace and return to the main galaxy. What a complete waste of time and money. And of course, this season couldn't be complete without a final nostalgia bait. Remember Anakin Skywalker? He's there as well! For about 4 seconds! Are you not entertained?

Castlevania: Nocturne (2023– )

A promising mess

[7/10 · 3 October 2023]

I feel like most people here judge Nocturne like it should have equaled the four seasons of Castlevania on its own. Granted, it has its flaws, but nothing damning, bad pun intended.

On the plus side, the animation looks as good as Castlevania at its peak. It's still not as smooth as some Japanese studio can offer, but the artistic direction more than make up for it, as does the cinematography and choreography of the action scenes. Again, it's just as good as Castlevania delivered. The atmosphere is convincing, the setting of the Revolution interesting, there's some good drama in there as well...

The greatest weakness of Nocturne is a severe lack of focus. The characters are simply too numerous. Taking into account the first 2 seasons of Castlevania, which represents 12 episodes against the 8 Nocturne comprises, we had 8 recurring characters, Trevor, Sypha, Alucard, Dracula, Hector, Isaac, Godbrand and Carmilla, plus a few characters which only appeared in a couple episodes like Lisa Tepes, the bishop or the old Seeker. Now, with Nocturne, we have 10 recurring characters, Richter, Maria, Annette, Tera, the abbot, the knight, Olrox, Edouard, Drolta and Erzsebet, plus a handful of characters like Jacques, the marquis and his wife, Vaublanc, Annette's mother and her priest mentor, Juste Belmont, etc.

It's way too much. There's only so many scenes and character work you can put into any show or movie before it starts crumbling under its own weight. Castlevania had the genius of having just a main trio of heroes, all three distinct from each other through their purpose, origins and abilities. Trevor was the jaded fighter, fleeing from a past of shame and horrors. Sypha was the scholar, compassionate and driven by a desire to protect history and mankind with her powerful magic. And Alucard, son of Dracula, who inherited the humanity of his mother, the genius and power of his father, destined to fight the latter in a gripping mix of hatred, pity and love.

Let's look at Nocturne now. Tera and Maria, being mother and daughter, obviously share some of their background, design and abilities. Which makes them both pretty much redundant. It gets better by the end of the season, and the sacrifice of Tera sets up some great things for the next season, but it was still a mistake to have two characters which could have been only one. Maria could have been the one taken by the Erzsebet, setting up Richter into a path of vengeance and justice.

And everyone uses magic now. Granted, it was really cool to see Sypha fight, but Trevor's physical feats were a wonder to behold as well. It set him apart from his two companions, whereas Richter kinda blends in, no character seem to have a specific role in the story anymore.

The villains suffers from this as well. Where you had an all-powerful Dracula, maddened by grief and set on destroying humanity, and his scheming minions plotting against each other, we now have an Egyptian goddess (where she was during Castlevania is to everyone's guess), a vampire lady which is essentially here to be her lapdog only, and Olrox who is by far the most interesting of the bunch but isn't the main antagonist, despite the show setting him up as Richter's nemesis. Just give us Erzsebet from the first episode and discard her succubus-like servant, she serves no purpose at all to the story.

Relationships form too fast, like between Olrox and the knight, some plot points get resolved way too quickly, like Annette forgiving Richter's flight in a span of a few seconds despite her calling him a coward repeatedly in the previous episode... All in all it's a really promising start, some great plot points got set up, but I sincerely hope they won't introduce any more characters than we have in the next season. Most of them are far from being used to their full potential, a mistake Castlevania masterfully avoided in its first two seasons.

Ahsoka: Part Six: Far, Far Away (2023) Season 1, Episode 6

This Thrawn is the epitome of Disney Star Wars

[5/10 · 25 September 2023]

Thrawn before Ahsoka used to have a sleek and well-maintained physical appearance. He stood tall, proud, dominating everything and everyone.

He was always careful to remain in peak physical form. Thrawn is a warrior, a perfect warrior. He understood that the greatest leaders ask of their soldiers what they themselves would be capable of. The punishments he enacts in the case of failures weren't harsh or meant to strike fear like Vader liked to. He maintained a strict, perfect disciplined amongst his troops, thus creating a well-oiled war machine which dominated any battlefield.

In Rebels, they had the genius to use his great size to its full potential. Thrawn is nearly two meters tall, meaning he physically dominated everyone. The showrunners emphasized this by making often making the people he was speaking to being seated or kneeling, like the first time Hera meets him in person. When he appears as a hologram, he was always enormous, much like at the end of the third season when he appeared as a hologram to the Rebels on Atollon. All that maintained an aura of menace and of dominance, of raw, unstoppable power. Everything in Thrawn, from the slow dirge that served as a theme to his appearance screamed danger to anyone gazing upon him.

What about now? He's slouched, sports a beer belly, walks with his arms dangling on his side when he always, always, kept them crossed behind his before. Where he used to radiate discipline, he now emanates weakness and negligence. He became everything he used to actively fight against within the imperial military.

He doesn't act. He doesn't do anything, only spouting words and generic one-liners much like everyone in this show.

He couldn't even find Ezra despite having ten year to do so and a Star Destroyer, a ship we know to be equipped with life forms scanner since the very first Star Wars movie. Back in Rebels, he managed to find the hidden rebel base within weeks from the tiniest of clues.

His plan is to make the mercenaries follow Sabine to kill Ezra, then says it doesn't matter and prepares to abandon them all. Why even bother freeing Sabine then? Just put a blaster shot between her eyes and free us from that annoying, petulant, self-entitled brat that she became. She doesn't look the slightest bit intimidated when facing Thrawn in person. Can't have that in modern entertainment after all, a non XX-chromosomed character dominating a purple haired XX character.

And why, why, why would Thrawn of all people waste Baylan and Shin, such precious ressources? Fallen Jedi aren't such a common thing that you can just leave them to die in another galaxy! They managed to take on a New Republic battleship by themselves and kill its crew in the very first episode, won't that come in handy?

You were better than that Thrawn. Much better.

Ahsoka: Part Five: Shadow Warrior (2023) Season 1, Episode 5

Just Member berries

[3/10 · 13 September 2023]

''I'm here to train you''. ''Live or die''. ''You're part of a legacy''. ''You learned nothing.'', says Anakin Skywalker. But what does it all mean?

What's even the problem? Was there some conflict inside Ahsoka which lead her to her defeat against Baylan Skoll? Did she had troubles with her past which pushed her to make poor decisions? No and no. So what's the point of all this?

We see her question her place within the Clone Wars, question the legacy of the Jedi, former peace keepers turned soldiers. Those are very pertinent questions indeed, but which have nothing to do in this show. They were addressed during The Clones Wars, especially during the final season, and Ahsoka was even at the center of it all. So not only is this something we've already seen, it's completely out of place here. Ahsoka already came to terms with her past. She even accepted the fact that Anakin became Vader in Rebels. Why do we need flashbacks and Anakin supposedly teaching her something? And nothing is resolved at the end, she just refuses to kill him and that was the solution? To not fight? Again, this subject was touched on in Clone Wars, but the writers had the intelligence to keep a certain ambiguity around. Yes, war is bad, Jedi aren't supposed to be warriors, but on the other hand people are dying by the tens of thousands. Anakin's goodness is what drives him to become such a fierce warrior, not wrath or ambition or cruelty.

But we'll find none of this here. Ahsoka is simply the best. She defeats him both physically in the duel and morally. Great.

We get it Filoni, you love your character. But please do try to refrain your love a little bit. It becomes sort of embarrassing when she starts beating legacy characters, not to mention the whole Gandalf-the-Whiting you pulled. Do you truly put your work and writing at the same level as Professor Tolkien? That's some serious ego right there.

In the end, this episode is just key jangling to distract you from actual thinking. Pretty lights, noises, nostalgia bait and, of course, generic, bland, meaningless one liners. Nothing specific, nothing of substance, which is what Star Wars as a whole has become.

Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One (2023)

Two years in a row, Tome Cruise saves Hollywood.

[8/10 · 12 July 2023]

Dead Reckoning isn't without flaws. With the stakes being ever higher, it also becomes harder to incorporate some levity into the movie. That is not to say there isn't some humor here and there, but it's less present than it used to be. And with the runtime being about half an hour longer than previous MI movies, the franchise just got a whole lot more serious, which won't be to everyone's taste. And the fact that this movie is doesn't get a proper ending (neither does it end with cliffhanger) won't help in making it more digestible for the less hardcore fans of the franchise.

But that's not to say that Dead Reckoning isn't one hell of a good movie. It's gripping, visually impressive, smart and innovative. Tom Cruise is still able to kick ass, and it seems he's still having as much of a good time that he had with the first movie nearly 20 years ago. He runs, ride motorcycle and jumps from high places, everything we're looking for in a MI movie. He knows what his audience wants and he's more than willing to give it to them, something that's getting rarer these days with Hollywood movies...

All in all, if you want to have a blast, just go see Dead Reckoning. You'll be on the edge of your seat most of the time, have a few laughs here and there, and enjoy watching your favorite secret agent running at full speed.

The Mandalorian: Chapter 23: The Spies (2023) Season 3, Episode 7

Good ideas, terrible execution, as per usual.

[6/10 · 12 April 2023]

It is now obvious that Mandalorian got its plot hijacked by the remnants of the Nite Owls' show. Bo-Katan became the actual main character, with Mando actually swearing allegiance to her in a scene we've seen a dozens times already in recent Disney show, where a male character praises to the high heavens a female character (Loki, She-Hulk, Kenobi...). Even that could be fine though, let's be honest, Bo-Katan is a far more interesting character than Mando ever was, with an actual backstory that is more complex than ''I hate droids cause the burned my hometown..."

The Mandalorians continue to be the most laughable force in the galaxy. The guys they meet (randomly mind you, on an entire PLANET they happen to meet the guys they really needed right now), who've been living on Mandalore for the past two decades, get their barge destroyed by the first dinosaur they encounter? Didn't they fought some this whole time? They get wrecked like a bunch of amateurs, no even putting up a fight, getting completely taken by surprise, with some of them even dying!

The Empire has Beskar armor now? NOW? What were they doing this whole time?? Mandalore was theirs already during the reign of Palpatine, couldn't they had THEN made an army of invulnerable troopers? We even know that was something ol' Palps was interested in through the plot line surrounding the Zilo Beast in Clone Wars AND the season 2 of Bad Batch which aired almost simultaneously to the third season of Mando!

But that's only details, let's get to the serious stuff now. So Bo-Katan surrendered to Gideon when Mandalore was attacked, something which, according to Mandalorian culture, would make her unworthy of leading them, unworthy of the Dark Saber as well probably. In a more well written show, this would have been a serious dilemma, the Mandalorians would have probably questionned their loyalty to their feeble leader which not only surrendered once, but also made the Purge all the easier for the Empire since they were disarmed by then (which also raises the question, how did no one know about the surrender if they had given up their weapons? Did Bo-Katan tell them to fist fight the Empire?) But not on Disney Star Wars, a female character is always right, and most important of all she could never be questioned by a male character, especially not on authority or leadership.

The group gets separated by the end of the episode. In a better show, this would be Mando's time to shine, he would escape at first, save the fleet in orbit, come back to rescue Bo-Katan and save the day. Buuut not here. Bo-Katan freaking slices the door with the Dark Saber, something she could have done SINCE THE BEGINNING of the scene and maybe act before Mando was taken away??

And of course, time for a big sacrificial moment! Disney does love 'em! Remember that guy from the Flag Smashers back in Falcon and Winter Soldier who stayed behind so that his pals could escape in a plane, slowing down their pursuers for a grand total of 17 seconds which weren't at all needed ultimately? Well guess what, the same things happen! Paz Visla stay behind to slow down the Empire while the Mandalorians escape!... And even after they did? ''There's too many of them!" did he shout to Bo-Katan, facing an impressive group of 10 guys which couldn't have pursued them efficiently since they would have had to go through the door Bo-Katan cut open... It's not that hard Disney! At least pretend you're trying...

The episode does have some good points fortunately. The direction this whole charade goes with the D+ shows finally becomes evident. Yes, Thrawn is coming, the remnants of the Empire are coordinating for the rebirth of their fallen regime, Gideon plots in everyone's back to slow down the return of Palpatine (urgh...). Things are FINALLY happening, the Mandalorians are in the very center of it, so the finale shows promise I guess? It's a shame there seems to be no script doctor to review the writers' ideas before they put them to the screen... More than ever, The Mandalorian has a lot of potential, and more than ever, it gets polluted by a loose script, inefficient and borderline ridiculous dialogues pronounced with a robotic tone by actors who seem to question their life choices, unimpressive sets, an uneven soundtrack, and, last of all but the worst offender, the politics of Lucasfilms which it escaped until now.

Star Wars: The Bad Batch: The Crossing (2023) Season 2, Episode 9

The Really Bad Batch.

[6/10 · 15 February 2023]

The show continues its trend of following up interesting episodes with a filler one, although this time it does offers something of value, the squad dealing with the departure of Echo. By the squad though, I obviously mean mostly Omega, and by dealing, I mean she sulks and rebuke adult, experienced soldiers.

On top of that, the squad continues its trend of being absolutely inept. First they get their ship stolen by what seems to be a random kid, despite having a long history of leaving their ship on dangerous worlds, Tech being an expert in, well, technical stuff, and so in locks, and Wrecker being on the lookout.

They are also unaware of the violent, course-changing storms that rampage in the world they're going on for their mission, and finally they keep dropping the precious cargo they came for, despite it being HIGHLY VOLATILE AND EXPLOSIVE.

And finally, of course, they get ridiculed by Cid, everyone's favorite character.

In short, this season so far is only good when it's not about its titular characters.

The Witcher: Blood Origin: Of Ballads, Brawlers, and Bloodied Blades (2022) Season 1, Episode 1

Three episodes condensed in one

[3/10 · 27 December 2022]

I feel like the writers forgot about something with this first episode : your brainstorming session isn't a script.

So much happens in this, dozens of characters are introduced, most die before we can even remember their name, impactful decisions and character moments are almost immediately forgotten, the protagonists come to the right conclusions about their precarious situations with the thinnest clues possible so that we can move on to the next plot point... It's exhausting.

It feels like most of the actors tried to give it their all, but their character just isn't that good. Finest example of this is Merwyn. So she's supposed to be this brilliant princess who studies ancient history and has great aspirations right? Why is she so dumb then? Not going into any spoilers, but he comes across as monstrous and utterly delusional.

(SPOILER : killing your own brother, a genuine good guy by the looks of it who wants to bring an end to what sounded like a century old conflict? All that because he needed you to do your duty as a princess, marrying a king, and because you didn't believe his peace would last? I bet your two co-conspirators who murdered their liege, the clans and a bunch of mages who didn't want to follow them will maintain order. Definitely. Don't worry about it. What a poor excuse of an antagonist.)

The lack of budget is awfully felt in nearly every scene, be it with CGI scenery coming straight from a 90s movie, the bland costumes or the poor choreography of any fight scene (taking a page from Kenobi with the shaky cam aren't you? Cause that show was great for sure...)

Overall it's a really poor start from what appears as a generic low-budget fantasy show. Cause it's certainly not The Witcher. The lore gets torn down on several occasion, again, and the world building gets thrown by the window with all these people of different origins just living together even a small island in the middle of nowhere, AGAIN. But at least it reflects the world we live in today and it's adapted to modern audience, because that's exactly what we search in any work of FANTASY.

The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power (2022– )

Lord Of The Rings in name only

[1/10 · 4 September 2022]

''The Lord of The Rings started with an expository monologue'', said overpaid screenplay writer, ''let's do that people liked that!'' Yes it did, and for good reasons. The Lord of The Rings is a huge chunk of lore and detailed backstories, so of course a crash course was needed if we were to arrive right at the end of the Third Age in Middle-Earth. Thing is, with its five minutes long intro, the LOTR trilogy managed to introduce the three main races of Middle-Earth (and the Hobbits), the villain who wanted to rule all through cunning and deceit, his master plan which was thwarted by loyalty, courage and sacrifice, as well as his survival through the ultimate weakness of a man. Elrond, Isildur (and through him Aragorn) and Bilbo were thus given simple yet compelling backstories, with vibrant emotions channeled by actors whose gravitas was easily expressed thanks to the director, by an impressive screenplay, and of course that masterpiece of a soundtrack that would certainly please Ilùvatar itself.

Now, what do we get with Rings of Power? There was a pretty land with glowing trees, an evil guy destroyed them, the elves thought that was pretty uncool and traversed some ocean to hand his ass over to him. That's it. What is Valinor? What is Middle-Earth? Why are there several races around the world and why are they separated? What did Morgoth want, and what does Sauron want now? Who are the Elves, the Men, the Dwarves? We don't know, and the show runners certainly don't seem to as well, otherwise there wouldn't be so much lore breaking stuff, but I digress.

We're not in 2001 anymore. We've been watching LOTR for the past two decades. The (supposed) target audience demanded a more in depths look in Tolkien's world. They heard of the Valar, of the Undying Land, of Numenor and of the Destiny of Men, not knowing what exactly it was but craving to see more. Many people got into the books or the video games, thirsting to see this incredible lore on screen.

Yet two episodes in and we're yet to even utter the name of Ilùvatar or even Gil-Galad for that matter, despite the latter appearing on screen in several scenes and interacting with two of the main characters. You could say the writers know what they're doing, they're just taking it slow, after all, Fëanor and the Silmarils are finally mentionned in episode 2. Briefly. In a dialogue that was surely forgotten almost immediately by most since they didn't know they were just dropped some critical lore and not some random names to simply give an impression of a rich world, which is kinda how it is treated so who can blame them?

This is the issue with this show. It's generic. It's just another fantasy show, albeit a bit prettier than most. But there are no emotions whatsoever. The themes that made LOTR so great, nobility and pettiness, loyalty and betrayal, sacrifice and cowardice, you'll find none of those there.

Instead, you'll find spoon-fed motivations, characters played by actors lacking in charisma (even without putting them up against legends like Ian McKellen or Hugo Weaving), bland soundtracks, and a world that seems harder to understand than before. Why do Men and Elves distrust one another? What are the Elves doing in Middle-Earth? Who is this Aulë who keeps being invoked as a joke? "F@%k you" says overpaid screenplay writer, "have some olympic swimming Galadriel and rock-smashing Elrond instead".

The Witcher: Nightmare of the Wolf (2021)

Just as surprising as a child you'd find as you're going home

[8/10 · 23 August 2021]

The Witcher : Nightmare of the Wolf had a double objective, to show us how the School of the Wolf dwindled to the point where only a handful of its witchers remained by the time of the books, and to add a much needed backstory to the character of Vesemir. And I'm pleased to say it is highly successful in both.

I won't spend time talking about the animation, the soundtrack, the sound effects and the voice acting. It's simply great. The art direction is phenomenal, the soundtrack has that same Polish vibe from the games and the show. You can feel the passion put into the movie, if you don't like the story you'll still enjoy the movie because of this huge production value.

But the story is just as solid. Many characters are introduced, most of them unknown to us until now, yet each of them make their impression and add something to the plot or overall mood of the movie. Vesemir of course stands out the most, with a character arc that will ring a bell to Wild Hunt players as it seems to all come from a conversation you can have with him in the game. You understand him throughout the entire movie, you get how he became the character we know in the books, you actually see his evolution, his flaws, where he failed and how he influenced the scenario. This movie is a perfect example of a well-done origin story.

All in all Nightmare of the Wold will please long time fans and newcomers alike. There are some missed opportunities here and there, like Kaer Morhen not looking at all like the fortress we know in Wild Hunt. It's also a bit ''too much anime'' at some point, meaning that yes, witchers are superhuman, but not backflip-into-the-air-while-swinging-my-sword-and-throwing chains-everywhere superhuman, and Vesemir's Signs look way to strong at some moments, they're supposed to be a pale imitation of true magic. But these are just details, overall the movie is amazing and honors the source material. Go watch it now.