michaelbkelly Reviews

Hamlet 2 (2008)

The Worst Movie I Have Seen All Year (maybe 5 years)!

[1/10 · 3 September 2008]

I care about my fellow moviegoer, so heed my warning! This is a painful waste of time! The lead actor, Steve Coogan, is a cross between Weird Al Yankovic and Tiny Tim. He was the director who exploded in Tropic Thunder. Wish he had suffered the same demise here! I sat in the theater (with only 4 other people) with popcorn falling out of my mouth due to it being open during this grueling experience. I was dumb founded. Dumb being the operative word. I hope the so-called actors in this movie don't put this one on their resume. Not one funny scene and so many answered questions like Why did the guy who did not want to be in the play, change his mind during the performance and then know every line and song and why did the audience run out like maniacs at the end of Hamlet 2? Guess they were a heck of a lot smarter than me who stayed till the very end! I need to go now and wash that film right out of my eyes.

Wounded Hearts (2002)

Great Film!...

[1/10 · 5 June 2005]

If you want to see a great film, this is it. Just have some friends over, turn down the sound and add your own dialogue. Wonderful "party" game. Otherwise, stay away from this stinker. His daughter hates his new girlfriend for at least ten whole minutes. Girlfriend buys her ice cream and, suddenly, loves the woman to death. Wish that worked for me in my relationships. Speaking about death, main character's wife dies quickly in the first ten minutes. Lucky her! You, yourself, however do not get that same opportunity. Acting is wooden and you feel like crap for wasting 94 minutes of your life! I am just glad that I didn't see this in the theatre. After watching this mess, I am now in favor of "mercy killing".

Dismembered (2003)

Doesn't Get Any Worse Than This!

[1/10 · 26 April 2005]

Where do I begin to tell you how awful this film is? If your idea is seeing some old television stars on their last leg of their career is appealing to you, then enjoy yourself. Otherwise, you are just wasting your time. Guy hacks up people for body parts, apparently for money, Who knows and/or who cares? Plus, you never find out who the killer is! The movie just ENDS! GIVE ME A BREAK...Lee Horsley is one of my favorite actors..Such a shame I had to see him like this! Good thing this movie had a lot of fog, because everybody was walking around in it. Bernie Koppell was doing his Seigfried character from the old Get Smart series. Terrible acting, rotten dialogue and just too painful for me to describe anymore.

Fat Girl (2001)

ZZZZZ..

[5 January 2003]

I had really anticipated seeing the "controversial" film. But, unfortunately to watch it, I had to be shaken several times. Very slow and plodding. Did enjoy the main character's performance, however, it is not enough to recommend this film.

The Winner (1996)

Was Hoping for So Much More

[3 August 2002]

This film had quite a bit going for it. Interesting premise... Alex Cox directing, Michael Madsen, Rebecca DeMournay, starring, Las Vegas setting..but,alas, it wasn't meant to be. I was bored throughout this film. I kept hoping that it would pick up. It just didn't! Must have looked good on paper, sure didn't on screen.