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Reviews
Paul T. Goldman (2023)
Too long for nothing
I started watching this hoping for a light distraction. I continued because I wanted to see if there was any point to it. It's just a story of some naive sad sack sucker in denial who sets himself up to be taken advantage of and then proves how easy it is to do. We meet him with a sad story of what has happened to him yams wants us to feel sorry for him. Maybe we do a bit. As the series progresses it goes all over the place mixing in fiction with alleged facts and then you wonder what the hell you are doing still being here waiting for that golden moment when you say it was at least waiting for that. Does it happen? You be the judge, if you can last that long.
Buried in Barstow (2022)
Needs to be buried somewhere
I watched this cold based on the IMDB rating. Usually I get a surprise and this time I did too but only that it was surprising well below what I expected. The characters are hollow but not as hollow as the plot. Literally anybody with a pen could have written a better story than this and as for the cringeworthy soundtrack? Yeah it's a TV movie soundtrack for the ages. Ages ago. Nothing original here. Nothing complex here. Just a rambling story that leaves you hanging in the hope they never make a sequel or tv series. As a pilot it would never get to the screen. Maybe that's why it is a tv movie? It's not even a good cliché.
Finch (2021)
Just another Castaway
This movie put me to sleep. Dystopian future movies are usually bleak but this was so boring and predictable it was bleak on steroids. Tom Hanks should know better. Nothing new and very predictable from beginning to end. Or did I miss the end? I can't remember because if I didn't mention it this put me to sleep. If you want something to go to sleep by this will do it. What is it about Tom Hanks doing movies talking to things? Is it compulsory to name things? Is that his stereotype now? It's a movie that provokes self reflection but only in a way that is depressing. Apple could do a lot better if they want subscribers than to show stuff like this. They can do better and so can Tom Hanks who really needs a challenge for a change or he will fall into the end of career moves like Deniro and Hoffman have. He must know this surely?
In the Cut (2003)
A Cut Above
All the better with age. This noir like film tells a story of the characters more than the story of the film. If you like Marvel and DC films then this is way above your pay grade. The richness of the characters needs to be sipped like a fine cognac until you feel what they feel and become part of the fabric of the whole experience. Jane Campion is the only director who could achieve this. The ONLY one!
Coming Home in the Dark (2021)
Brilliant theme carefully crafted to emerge slowly.
Not your average Kiwiana movie. Not a Kiwiana movie at all. This story could be set in any country. It gets you from the beginning and keeps you guessing all the way to the end and beyond. You sit in the dark after it finishes and ponder why humanity is so cruel but not for the obvious reasons you might have thought before enjoying this gutsy tale.
No Sudden Move (2021)
If you don't like movies that require a brain don't watch it
Captures the film noir effect really well, especially with the use of fish eye lenses which many think is a distraction. The story has twists and turns that many can't follow. If you can't keep up with good movies go watch a superhero movie with no substance and all FX. This is awesome.
I'm Your Woman (2020)
Ignore the reviews from Marvel Fans. What would they know?
This is a suspense thriller that takes you on a journey of a stay at home wife played by Brosnahan brilliantly, who gets taken on a ride she knows nothing about or why. We see her character evolve from helpless to a strong survivor faced with unimaginable circumstances. Supporting cast are there to help her evolve while feeding her tidbits about what brought her life to this point in gangland America in the 1970's. There's even a car chase. Oh and a baby cries here and there but if you are used to kids and have a good disposition it won't bother you one bit.
The Personal History of David Copperfield (2019)
You Either Get It Or You Don't and If You Don't You Need To Look In The Mirror - HARD.
This blew me away.
It's like watching an oil painting being done by one of the masters. You don't quite get what they are about and then you are in awe of their amazing work.
It is in essence a farce, wrapped in a mish mash of anti-stereotypes, wrapped in a confrontation of your hidden prejudices about race and class. Too clever for many to even understand .
You will start watching it wondering what the hell are they trying to do, then it will dawn on you that there is a deep awakening for you as you are challenged by the upbringing you had that made you who you are in spite of your best efforts. There are people cast as characters that just don't make sense until you get what they are about. if you don't you will hate it though. I can see that happening to a lot of people and the reviews reflect that.
Once you have dealt with that you will enjoy the ride until the end in awe of this masterpiece of cinema.
Gotta be an Oscar in it. Good cast, not overpowering but just right.
Pray for Rain (2017)
Couldn't watch it all
I'm sorry but this is drivel. It is worse than a high school production of the Lone Ranger - make that Middle School production. Characters are unbelievable and the story line beggars belief.
Who wastes money making these things when there are much better uses for it?
Star Trek Into Darkness (2013)
Like Apple devices, not keeping ahead of the game anymore
Having the opportunity to see a screening ahead of release date felt like an honour. The anticipation of 3D helped build the moment to orgasmic levels. It was all downhill from there. At times I felt like I was in a Kung fu movie. At others I wondered if there was something I was missing. Turned out I was - substance. I felt like I was watching a George Lucas Star Wars rerun at times and the soundtrack and ending was almost the same. Expect a copyright lawsuit from Disney, if they are not too embarrassed to claim it.
As somebody fortunate enough to live and watch the original TV series AT THE TIME IT WAS MADE, I left feeling like the originality of special effects and ground breaking story line had been lost to the ages. It did not take me where no viewer had been before. Been there, done that and my bum was sore at the end and isn't that the real test after all?
The Breed (2006)
Absolute Rubbish
That's a Saturday night I'll never get back. Wes Craven has done worse, but at least they featured in parodies. This was absolute rubbish and apparently you have to write 10 lines before you can submit a review. The nicest part about this movie was the animals. They actually seemed quite cute.Repeat the same to make up the line minimum:That's a Saturday night I'll never get back. Wes Craven has done worse, but at least they featured in parodies. This was absolute rubbish and apparently you have to write 10 lines before you can submit a review. The nicest part about this movie was the animals. They actually seemed quite cute.
Get Smart (2008)
Not Smart At All
I'm sooooooooooo disappointed with this movie. The only "Smart" thing about it is that to make money they used a franchise that I grew up with and completely defamed it. I kept watching hoping and waiting for it to deliver some of the classic lines in the classic fashion of Don Adams who played the original Maxwell Smart.
The story is weak, the humour is lame, in fact I didn't laugh at any point or even get close. OK I know it's the modern way to do more of an adaptation of original TV programs but this was just the worst of the worst.
On the plus side, yes there is one, if you had no prior knowledge and had never seen a rerun on cable and didn't even know who inspector Gadget was even, and had never seen a movie in your life, you may have watched it to the end and not fallen asleep.
I feel so ripped off.
It missed the mark by "this much" (.) Would you believe this much....? Steve Carell was portraying a nerd when he should have been a guy who thought he was as smooth as James Bond - what was that all about? The best parts were Bill Murray as agent 13 and the cameo of Bernie Kopell who was the original Seigfied. He must have cried when he saw Terrance Stamp annihilating his character. Don Adams will still be spinning in his grave I'm sure. Bring back the reruns and restore my happy memories of the term "Get Smart" PLEASE!!!
Maiden Voyage (2004)
Woeful
What a poor excuse for New Zealnd Movie making. I'm ashamed to call myself a New Zealander when this movie exists and is currently playing on New Zealand satellite TV (Aug 2006). The cast is made up of a large number of local soap stars. The ship, in real life, is one of the inter-island ferries that travel daily between the two main islands and even has the company's logo (a dolphin) still all over the set including on the ship's funnel. The ship is supposed to be a cruise ship/ferry between the USA and Mexico. It has obvious signs of rust and old age all over the place yet is supposed to be a luxury ship on it's maiden voyage. One of the scenes shows the snow capped peaks of New Zealand's South island in the background for God's sake! Must have been a very cold time on the USA/Mexico area! The story is weak, the acting is weaker and the new Zealand/American accents just don't work. I expect the New Zealand tax payer contributed to the production cost of this movie and that was a waste of money better spent on a real production. I know high school kids in New Zealand who could make better movies with their cell phones. Goof: There is a truck in the hold with tagging on it and they stuck a Taco Company sign on the door of the truck, presumably to make it look like it was American. But some of the sign is over the top of the tagging - you'd think they would have noticed that in the props department before attaching it. I'd love to go on but it just isn't worth the trouble in any way.