RandomTard Reviews

Insidious: Chapter 2 (2013)

Ruined by sound balance

[3/10 · 23 January 2024]

There is actually very little to say about the movie. It's actually pretty decent, it has some good atmosphere and scares - well at least until we get to the end where things go magic fighting in magic land.

But the thing that totally makes the movie all but unwatchable, is the sound balance. Why would I pay to watch a movie where I can either hear the talking and have my hearing damaged by sound effects or just turn off the sound all together? Why would you do that?

This seems to be a running problem with this movie franchise so I'd just not watch these at all, maybe if you can get them on a dvd things might be better but streaming seems to be a no go.

Insidious: Chapter 3 (2015)

Very problematic movie

[2/10 · 22 January 2024]

This movie starts pretty ok. It has some decent scares and the story starts out promising. Towards the end the movie has a serious drop in quality. The characters seem mostly just superficial and annoying and the story goes nowhere. Then things go even worse, we get some completely unneccessary ghost busters and finally a dream fighting scene - like in any bad horror movie from the 80's.

But the worst part about the movie are the sounds. The dialogue is so quiet you can't hear it at all but the sound effects are super loud, which basically makes the movie completely unwatchable.

If you like watching movies without sound you might find it decent, but seriously I wouldn't bother watching it.

Swarm (2023)

Overrated

[5/10 · 27 March 2023]

I was really rather disappointed by this show. There is no comedy, no horror and no suspense. It's the kind of a show where stuff just happens and you watch it happen, but you don't care. I honestly did not give a rats ass of what happened to any of these people in this show.

The writing was bad, acting was passable at best and even the sound balance was off. Everything was all over the place. And to top it off, the story was unbelievable - I mean how did not the police catch her straight up. Did they not bother checking even fingerprints?

Bland, boring and uneven - but yeah, worth the 5 points.

The Apology (II) (2022)

Don't bother

[1/10 · 19 March 2023]

Well after 20 minutes I just simply decided to not suffer anymore of this boring conversation. I've seen some tedious movies but oh my this one is right there at the top. There is nothing to get interested about, I mean absolutely nothing. Just boring people talking boring things to each other.

Acting seemed very strange, somehow forced. Well I guess it would be with basicly no script or plot to speak of, but seriously it is so bad. The snowthunder or whatever makes no sense, what kind of an electric system does that house have? That's not how electricity works - lightning does not make electricity pause for a minute.

Sick (2022)

Standard slasher movie

[5/10 · 9 March 2023]

This movie was done well enough and they did the phone messages the right way - you could actually read them which is great. Also the whole Covid theme was just ridiculous, which sadly was the whole plot.

The problem with this movie was that it had nothing original nor did it offer anything new. And I was getting a bit bored. I didn't care about the characters, they had absolutely no depth.

Acting was ok enough, sounds were balanced and technically everything worked. It just didn't have much anything to offer to a viewer.

And I still need to write some more here, which is annoying as bloody hell.

Smile (V) (2022)

A good horror movie

[8/10 · 8 March 2023]

It is not often I find my self watching a horror movie and thinking wow, this is actually pretty good. It doesn't happen many times per year. So I'm happy and smiling after watching this movie.

Of course it's not perfect. Perfect movies don't exist. The ending was a bit off, sound balance could of been better and some acting could of been better. And there's no point in saying that it wasn't completely original, no movie is. Everything's been done to death.

Not sure what else to write here, I bloody hate this required characters bs. I just don't see the point in writing the whole plot of the movie here.

Nix (2022)

Weird mess

[3/10 · 8 March 2023]

Now what can one say about Nix - really, I'm trying to think of anything else to say except it's a weird mess. Well it's also pretty boring and yes, it's pretty bad. There is no backround given for this German folklore that this movie is supposed to be about - apart from some woman with German accent and at one point someone said that Nix doesn't mean anything in German. Why would someone in USA just spontaneously say something like that? Who would even think Nix would be German word, I wound't for sure.

And that's the problem with this movie. It makes no sense. And it's a weird mess of boring cameratrickery repeat ad nauseam.

Mr. Harrigan's Phone (2022)

Not a horror movie

[5/10 · 8 March 2023]

This movie is mostly a sad drama with some thriller seasoning. Sadly it's also a pretty boring and slow movie. But the worst part is making people try to read the small text in a phone on a screen - it's too small, can't read it. I guess it could work in a movie theather but if you'd pay to see this in a movie theather, well you'd probably already walked out or you'd have more serious issues to deal with. It's not that bad of an issue in this movie, but still - stop doing it.

I'm also not sure the makers even understood how phones work. If you buy a new phone but have the same provider with the same number then how would that help?

Three-Body (2023– )

Boring and unintelligent

[3/10 · 6 March 2023]

I have not read nor ever even heard of this book this borefest is based on. But the reality is, that I could not make it to the end of episode two - I was so bored and uninterested. There's so much elevator music and someone just standing and staring, or some over long childish discussion about science that's like something kids in kindergarden could have. It's not clever, it's not entertaining and it's just too slow and painfully boring.

And then there's the repetition. Same scenes are shown again and again, none of them are important or interesting. I guess they were going for some weird space soup opera but I'd rather watch The Bold and the beautiful.

Tales of the Walking Dead (2022)

Total disappointment

[3/10 · 5 March 2023]

So we start up by having one of the worst actors ever pretty much have a whole episode, which was bad. Then we get a ridiculously bad Groundhog day rip off which is even worse. At this moment any sane person would just abandon all hope and stop watching. What is this? The show of overused ideas done horribly? Such a failure.

The third episode isn't as bad, but it's not any good either. The rest are just random stuff happening and there's nothing to care or get interested about.

Sadly, this is just a simple moneygrap show done cheaply - just look at those explosions in episode two lol. Not worth watching and basicly has nothing to do with The Walking Dead universe.

The Witcher (2019– )

Starts ok then comes season 2

[5/10 · 1 March 2023]

The first season follows the story pretty well and is entertaining enough. But it has a major problem with time jumping that probably totally ruined the show for people who hasn't read the books, it was confusing even for me and I knew the story.

In second season something horrible happens. I guess the writers decided that the original story wasn't good enough and wrote their own ridiculous failure instead. Why in the name of all unholy did they think they could do better?? Now I'm not a fanboy of Witcher, the games were crappy point and click and the books are way overrated - but that doesn't mean you should just replace the story with something absolutely stupid.

Mr. Mercedes (2017–2019)

Uneven

[5/10 · 27 February 2023]

I have not read the books, but it's clear the flaws of Kings (or whoever ghostwriter wrote it) writing are present here. The butchering of latin and not understanding that Frankenstein was not the name of the monster, how does anybody make such mistakes? Seems so amateurish.

The first season was pretty decent with one major issue - the magical remote control. I mean how old dated and stupid do you wanna be? I would not go for CSI levels but they sure went. Also the time just doesn't feel right, it's 2010 something but it seems more like 1970's.

The second season starts out bad, very boring and slow. And then they go full magic that makes absolutely no sense. I just kept waiting for some superhero in tights to appear.

Third season starts kind of boring also but gets a bit better towards the end, but it's just all over the place and the characters are just way too stupid.

Ju-on: Origins (2020)

Confusing

[5/10 · 21 February 2023]

It starts pretty well but then it just keeps on going in all directions at the same time and it's really hard to keep up with what is happening. A lot of time I found myself asking "Who is that?", "Where is this happening?" or just simply "What the hell is any of this and who are these people?". And that does not a good show make.

It's not bad and fortunately it's not that long, the episodes are like 20 minutes or something. There are good moments but the whole just falls short and leaves you feeling empty, confused and disappointed.

Even the jumpscares were kind of lame, with mostly just someone standing there not doing anything.

Midnight Mass (2021)

Decent but bit boring

[5/10 · 18 February 2023]

There were some issues with this show. The most irritating problem were the overly long, boring and childish monologues that simply did not fit in. I don't see any reason why they were there. The characters also were a bit silly really, like kids believing everything they were told and not questioning anything. Also the characters weren't really likeable.

The angel looked a bit weird and didn't really fit in either. Actually it looked quite cheap.

With some cutting and better writing and cgi it could of been a lot better, sadly now all I can remember it by are the boring monologues that went on and on.

Echoes (2022)

Watchable but nothing great

[5/10 · 16 February 2023]

This is a very basic show, mostly drama with some thriller/mystery parts. The whole story is ridiculously unbelievable and doesn't make any sense if you start to think about it. It is also pretty slow and filled with boring stuff and repeating scenes.

The characters are not likeable and the lead is very unlikeable which makes it difficult to care about the characters or what happens to them. Acting was decent although I started hating the lead actress face, well it was the one thing that is shown like 80% of the time and it looked a mix of constipated and sad.

Funny thing, I thought they were in Australia but apparently they were not - so I have no idea where this series is happening.

Moloch (2020– )

Slow and boring

[4/10 · 15 February 2023]

I was hoping for something more clever but was disappointed. This is a very basic show with a story told a thousand times better before. I actually fell asleep during the final episode and I'm not even sorry I missed the ending - that is how little I was interested. Not even gonna bother checking if there's a second season coming.

It's very slow and boring show. The acting is wooden and there is not a single character to care about. The lead is a horrible person I hated from the start and wished she would end up burning.

I think they were thinking they were making a very artistic and noir show, but they forgot the show part.

The North Water (2021)

Dark, slow and empty

[5/10 · 13 February 2023]

This show looks what you'd expect. The acting is good, technically there's nothing wrong. But still the story left me feeling cold and indifferent. All the time I was waiting for something to happen, but instead I got very slow and long scenes of a man standing or sitting and thinking silently, or staring at a mirror or some other artistic bs.

It's a show with very little going on. Most of the things that happen didn't feel like it was even part of the story, I felt like watching a scenery where actors were doing something irrelevant to the story. There was nothing to get invested in, not a character to care about.

The Haunting of Bly Manor (2020)

Disappointing

[4/10 · 12 February 2023]

This show starts of by telling the Turn of the screw story. The four first episodes are very enjoyable but then something awful happens. I guess they thought the original story wasn't good enough, so they wrote some idiotic dribble and totally ruined the rest of the series.

It just suddenly turns into a boring, irrelevant, repetitious and tedious mess that stops making any sense. I had to struggle really hard to keep watching the show till the end - I hated every slow and repeating moment of these uninspired background stories they felt the need to add.

The ending wasn't the worst, but it was too late to fix what had been ruined.

Devil in Ohio (2022)

Not as bad as reviews make it sound

[6/10 · 11 February 2023]

Of course there are problems with the show, just like any show. But I was entertained and I'm not the easiest to please. There are some illogical actions by the characters and some problems about how police would work in a situation but what show doesn't?

What really surprised me happily, was the lack of any superactiony criminal stupidity - no one got shot with a rocket launcher, there was no huge firefights between police and the villains. It was subtle.

Acting was good enough, it looked good and the musics were pretty good. It's not a horror show, there's no supernatural monsters or stupid jumpscares.

Wreck (2022– )

Fails pretty hard

[4/10 · 9 February 2023]

The first couple of episodes were quite ok, but towards the end the show just completely fell apart. I don't understand why we need a second season of this below average show.

Acting was not that good but the real problem was the whole story. So many things just made no sense and the whole plot was totally unbelievable. The characters were acting like 12 year old lovesick kids and just kept talking about their relationship problems while being chased by a murderer. At no point did they do any good decisions and I was just hoping they'd all die and the show to be over.

I guess this was made for children by children with some overkill PC seasoning.

The One in Charge (2022– )

Actually pretty good

[7/10 · 7 February 2023]

This is the best show from South-America I've come across. It's a dark comedy with decent script and acting. It's not like other comedies from there, it's not insane and over the top - it's actually pretty sophisticated.

There were some moments when the characters acted in a way that was unbelievable but other than that there's not much to criticize. The ending was a bit weird, I mean the amount of money they were willing to spend for...but I don't wanna spoil anything.

Over all a good series. Even the music was fitting and the sounds were balanced. I sure hope they'll get to make season 2 for this.

1899 (2022)

Pointless mess

[5/10 · 5 February 2023]

The show started out ok, I was interested. But then everything stopped making sense. One thing that was annoying me the whole time was the language problems, most of the people didn't understand each other at all but still they kept talking like they somehow understood something - and then they all suddenly fell in love after 5 minutes of not understanding what the other was saying. Why was this necessary?

The show is mostly about running around the ship and jumping into other places through something and running around in there nothing really made any sense. There was no reason for the actions of any of the characters - why were they doing the running around?

They just didn't think this through at all. It's a mess.

That '90s Show (2023– )

Confusing show

[6/10 · 4 February 2023]

Well it wasn't actually bad. But sadly it survived only with the help of the old cast, without them it would of been quite a disappointment.

The new cast of kids was not really that bad, but it was not good either. The main character was bland and unfunny as a bag of stones. The needed character to be politically correct seemed to be from the future not from the '90s. And now we basicly have two Kelsos - one good looking and one that plays football or something. I didn't really get the point of the footballers girlfriend, why is she even there?

But the biggest problem I had with the show, was the really confusing and strange '90s world they made up. In 1995 I was 15 just like these kids are and I can't recognize this version of the time. It's just not right at all.

Urban Legend (2022– )

Mostly boring and bad

[4/10 · 4 February 2023]

I was not impressed. Most of the episodes were just simply boring. There was maybe 2 episodes that were a bit better in atmosphere and story, but that wasn't nearly enough to carry the dead weight of the rest of the show.

The acting was not good but not horrible, mostly just weird. Stories had very little content which made them boring and felt prolonged. Production was clearly pretty cheap but not terrible.

Most of the episodes didn't really seem to me like an urban legends and those that did, were told very differently from the original - they added a lot of nonsense and boring stuff to fill the 40 something minutes.

I don't know why they haven't cancelled this show already.

Escape Room: Tournament of Champions (2021)

Magic magic everywhere

[2/10 · 1 February 2023]

I didn't really like the first one, it was way too unbelievable but I didn't hate it - I gave it 5/10. This sequel, well now I can say I hate it.

There is no logic in anything that happens, they didn't even try. They just rushed into the trap rooms and then rushed it all the way to the end. The puzzles were pure magic and broke all the laws of physics and common sense. The characters, the supposed champions, were hysterical, panicky and did stupid things. Except of course the main character who had some magic way of solving stuff, but that wasn't even a problem.

Somebody should seriously teach even the basics of physics and electricity to the makers of this ridiculous atrocity.