friendswithwindowsxp Reviews

A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints (2006)

nothing happens

[2/10 · 29 May 2022]

Nothing happens in this movie and what actually does happen happens off camera in between scenes. So now YOU the viewer have to fill in those gaps. Im not doing that. Its your job as a filmmaker to do that. The ending was insilting. The acting was great, but the final product was scattered and uninspired.

Blowing Up Right Now (2019)

one of those

[1/10 · 22 May 2022]

This is one of those impending doom comedies where you, the viewer, end up being forced to root for the nuclear weapon to obliterate the vapid, unlikeable, immoral main characters.

Santa Inc. (2021)

nice try

[1/10 · 3 December 2021]

Hi, non-christian here.

This is hateful garbage. How could you possibly think something this bigoted, hateful, and divisive would be a good decision? This makes me sick!

Foxfire (1996)

Bland

[3/10 · 19 October 2021]

I'll get straight to the point. If you're simply searching for a coming of age film around the mid 90s/post cobain era like say... Angus, then heres one.

But the catch is... its basically a lifetime movie that has nudity. Really inappropriate uncomfortable unnecessary nudity. These are supposed to be high school students...

Its not funny or heart-warning at any point. You really don't care if these girls get locked up for good or die, I certainly didn't.

Hard Skip.

Groove (2000)

embarassingly bad

[1/10 · 26 September 2021]

The positive: good soundtrack features the "hey jude" of trance music, Bedrock's "heaven scent" thats it.

The negative: my god the acting is so bad in this i cant even believe it, the writing is embarrassing for the viewer to listen to "we were on the beach we smoked a bowl together... oh whats up dude" are these dipshitz supposed to be cool? Apparently taking X makes you reveal that you're a homosexual? It was bad writing,no point in asking why. One long trance music video with a few cut scenes of characters that are wack and boring shitty people talking about their dreams and future plans... at a rave. The DUMBEST line in this whole film was at the end where the promoter was like "i just do this for the nods" F-=- OFF! Dumbest shit ive ever heard in my entire life. .nods. Pshh.

Chad (2021–2024)

i see what you did here.

[1/10 · 4 July 2021]

Trying very hard to be like "Pen15" but with a hateful edge.

We see through this stuff. We know its meant to demoralize young men. You are sabotaging your networks.

That being said "Pen15" did this idea correctly.

This did not.

Please stop and recognize this is hurtful.

Fear Street: Part One - 1994 (2021)

inaccurate

[3/10 · 4 July 2021]

Few people were on aol in 94, the system sounds used in the film, came later around 96.

Garbage -"im only happy when it rains came out in 1995, but wasnt released as a single until 1996. Same can be said with "machinehead" by bush. I had to leave the film at this point. The disregard for historical accuracy pisses me off.

Do not make a period piece without doing proper research. And if its a time when you werent born yet, at the very least use google.

Music (I) (2021)

good movie

[9/10 · 27 May 2021]

I am autistic, I really appreaciate this film. The acting i liked. The girls were pretty/ i like the music of Sia. Sia is my favorite singer. I like they made a movie about a girl with the same autism as me. It made me laugh very happy. I want to see a next one for music.

Army of the Dead (2021)

holy cow this was awful

[2/10 · 23 May 2021]

What did i just watch?

Somebody wrote that?

Somebody paid for that?

All that death... so some random lady could get back to her kids?

I cared about that indian lady less than any other character in this film. Including the japanese businessman... (who built the vault, so why are they breaking into it?)

i cared more for the zombie alien's character and his pregnant zombie bride.

I only wanted the daughter to die.

But since she lives, i assume we were supposed to like and identify with her, but based on some of the other reviews, its safe to say we didn't.

Im cancelling netflix this just isnt worth the money anymore.

Mortal Kombat (2021)

okay...

[5/10 · 29 April 2021]

When you think of mortal kombat you think of one thing... BLOOD. Over the top comically violent finishing moves. Well once again they did not deliver the creative ultra violence from the game franchise that makes it popular in the first place. The film was paced like a fever dream. The cgi was weak. Felt like a movie from 2003. Acting was bad. Script was poor it even included a forrest gump reference. I dont understand why this was made. Its not an upgrade to the 1994 film whatsoever. We still dont get spinal cords. We do get a scene where kano has the perfect oppertunity to bite into heart he pulls from a demons chest but just holds it up and quips. Everybody knows kano bites the heart. However mortal kombat 2021 (or as im calling it the Chinese Mortal Kombat movie) bites something, the big one.

My Dinner with Andre (1981)

drivel

[3/10 · 8 February 2021]

Theres a part in this film where one of the men says "we dont say what we really feel"

well thats because of terms of service violations

and i am not able to express how i really feel about this film because of such barriers.

Like Me (II) (2017)

trash

[1/10 · 18 October 2020]

Criminal class propaganda film, disguised as a commentary on society. misses the mark. pretentious editing.