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Furries: An Inside Look (2010)
Be not afraid.
Unsurprisingly, Republicans and other people who are afraid of EVERYTHING are afraid of furries - folks who dress up as animals. This is a quick and charming documentary that should assuage such stupid worries. Filmmaker Curt Pehrson chats with several furries (dressed in normal clothes) at a furries convention, and lets them explain what they do and why, and of course it's harmless fun.
One of the interviewees laughs at right-wing media's fevered coverage of furries as if it's all an animalistic orgy. "Have you ever worn a fur suit? It's like wearing your sofa. Some people can barely walk in them, and they get to be 110° in the course of about 90 seconds. If you want to try strenuous activity in that, you go right ahead. I'll be here, ready to dial 9-1-1."
Mononoke-hime (1997)
What's the big deal?
Everyone says this is great, but meh. It's a cartoon about mysticism and spirit-wolves and gods and demons and ancient gods of the wilderness and a heroic quest.
The animation is very well done indeed, apart from the anime-standard big-eyed look, which always reminds me of Margaret Keane or Precious Moments or "Go, Speed Racer, go!"
It's a Japanese cartoon, dubbed into English with major league American actors including Billy Crudup and Minnie Driver and Claire Danes, but the voice work sounds like a first table-read.
The original Japanese voices, subtitled, must've been better, but between the big eyes and the spirit-wolves there's no way I'm subjecting myself to another two hours of this, in any language.
If you can get past the big eyes - obviously, I couldn't - it's visually a great movie, but I'm reminded of something my wife said several times: If the reviews keep telling you a movie *looks terrific, and that's all they can say, it means the story sucks." Unless the movie is Koyaanisqatsi, the story is what matters, and the story in Princess Mononoke is boring.
Desk Clerk (2019)
Do-it-yourself moviemaking at its finest.
This is the life and times of a desk worker at a hotel, obviously written by and starring a desk clerk or (I hope) former desk clerk, Michelle Bowser.
It's amateur, so don't be expecting highfallutin' production values or a perfectly polished script, but sometimes amateur is a good thing -- it means she's saying what she wants to say, with no studio executives telling her what *not* to say.
Desk Clerk is frantic and funny all the way through, and had me smiling for an hour and a half, as Michelle deals with demanding, flirty, and insistent customers, laundry room refunds, a malfunctioning computer, disinterested non-help from IT's 800 number, and everything else that can go wrong in a hotel overnight.
The acting is not going to be Oscar-nominated, and the movie isn't quite as funny as it thinks it is, but it *is* funny, and makes me glad I've never been a desk clerk.
The Curious Female (1969)
Surprisingly not bad
This is a sorta science fiction film set in some distant future where marriage and love are illegal, but it's implied that everyone screws like an endless orgy. A group of rebels break the law by screening old movies from the time of marriage, love, and 'morals'. We watch a movie within the movie, about the last three virgins on a college campus, who decide they're ready to give it up.
The Curious Female was rated X, but by present-day standards it's not really a porno, and only occasionally even sexy. It's more like How to Stuff a Wild Bikini without the bikini. All the boinking takes place off-screen, because the movie was made in 1969, and released in real movie theaters.
So it's a so-so movie with tits, but what surprised me is, it's a movie. It's not a *good* movie, but it holds up better than Gidget or any number of other films of its time. It's only slightly sexist, not racist at all, and subtly portrays an omnisexual 'LGBTQ is AOK' future. It handles some serious matters far too fleetingly - the lecherous uncle, the honeymoon disappointment - but such elements are not played for laughs. There's a plot, it's directed, and all three of the virgins are portrayed with actual acting, something you no longer see in X-rated movies.
Verdict: MAYBE.
Light in the Piazza (1962)
Disturbing, and not in a good way
George Hamilton speaks English with an Italian accent, and Yvette Mimieux plays a retarded woman. Very 1962, if you like old movies, and I do. **SPOILERS FOLLOW**
I cannot believe the treachery that's presented as the "happy ending." Olivia DeHavilland is portrayed as the hero of the movie, pretty much the mother of the year (I saw this movie as a TCM "Mother's Day" special) for the startlingly despicable act of not telling her retarded daughter's future husband and future in-laws that she's retarded. Jeepers creepers, how would you feel if you married someone thinking the lack of real communication was due to a language barrier, and it eventually dawns on you that it's something much more than that -- you've married a woman with the IQ of a 10-year-old? That's a horrendous thing to do to George Hamilton, his family, and your own daughter.
Days later I'm still shaking my head "no."
WALL·E (2008)
Why are so many people so rhapsodic about WALL-E?
Can I just ask, what's the big deal here? Why are so many people so rhapsodic about WALL-E? I'm a big fan of science fiction in general and a bigger fan of Pixar, and this is the first Pixar movie I've seen where I found myself glancing at my watch, more than a little bored and anxious to get home.
Two big problems for me: #1: the insipid cockroach, which seemed wildly out of place in a movie that was otherwise reasonably intelligent and scientifically sensible.
And #2: the machines' voices, which seemed maximized for mechanized silliness. I can accept that WALL-E and EVA machines might exist, but I can't suspend disbelief and accept that anyone would design machines with such goo-goo da-da infantile voices.
Without these two concessions to kiddie-flick standards, it would've been a lot easier to be drawn into the story. With these faults, every time we saw the roach or heard the machines' voices I felt like I was taken back to Romper Room, being told a kiddie story by someone who thinks I'm four years old.
For all the hype about WALL-E, this wasn't half as good as THE INCREDIBLES, MONSTERS INC, or FINDING NEMO. If it was from somebody else I'd say WALL-E shows promise, but by Pixar standards, sigh ... of their nine feature films so far, I'd put this one in ninth place.
Suddenly (1954)
Gift-wrapped for Joe McCarthy
SUDDENLY was, I suspect, meant to rebut Senator Joe McCarthy and prove, gosh darn it, Hollywood loves America, loves guns, hates pacifism, and pledges allegiance. You'll get that message in the first five minutes, and every few minutes all the way to the unsurprising end.
There's a place for cornball movies with a message, but this movie is so cornball it's almost camp. The main message is that guns are necessary, and I don't argue or even disagree (I own two). But this message is hammered home over and over again, along with the goodness of cops and the greatness of America and the virtue of ordinary Americans. And again I'm not disagreeing, just bored silly -- the schmaltz drips off everything here, like pouring a whole bottle of syrup over a few pancakes.
Frank Sinatra is excellent as the bad guy, though his scripted lines are frequently absurd. The dialogue is clumsy and clunky -- real people don't speak like this, and never did. Sterling Hayden has never seemed more wooden, and his obsession with the town's young widow is downright creepy and cries out for a restraining order.
The Professor's Daughter (2007)
I don't get it
I just saw THE PROFESSOR'S DAUGHTER at the Wisconsin Film Festival, where it was received with warm, enthusiastic, sincere applause, so the audience liked it, clearly.
But ... I must've missed something. I don't get it. We're given a fairly standard sci-fi template for a story that's been told numerous times before -- the dedicated scientist tinkering with a computer that's on the verge of achieving virtual self-awareness ... It's well-scripted, well-acted, with at least four engaging characters -- the professor, his ex-wife, his sidekick or star student, and his daughter. I really can't fault any of the work here, but I'm not sure what it all adds up to.
As someone who's seen a lot of science fiction movies, THE PROFESSOR'S DAUGHTER establishes a familiar but always intriguing premise, and then ... it's over. If there was a new or different 'riff' on the standard artificial intelligence story line, if there was something added or different here from a dozen films that have told similar stories, it eluded me. It was, basically, the first fifteen minutes of a pretty good sci-fi movie, but it ends without distinguishing itself ...