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caseythejerkman
Reviews
Sari & Trainers (1999)
Need a laugh?
Rainy Saturdays can be Hell sometimes. You find yourself turning to the Sundance Channel out of curiosity. A channel you would otherwise avoid for fear of catching a glimpse of a documentary about some hillbilly bassist from the Allman Brothers. Dear God, no. But the incessant cold rain makes such things an option. Little did I know that I would find a little gem called Sari & Trainers playing on some short film compilation. Gem is too strong a word, you say? You're right. Uninteresting and terribly predictable from the start. Until the cardboard Brit gets nailed by an SUV. Okay, so it's obvious he wasn't injured whatsoever. A disappointment to say the least. However, it is at that moment that a group of thuggish brothers breaks out into a poorly rehearsed song and dance number worthy of 98 Degrees. I haven't laughed out loud so quickly at a movie in a while. I was totally unprepared for that. I was waiting for Chris Pontius to run by in a Party Boy thong, but it didn't happen. Okay, okay. The Indian sister also was doing some song and dance crap earlier, too, but that was in now way any kind of preparation for that mess. Hey, the whole short was pretty... well, short... so, it was no big loss to watch the whole thing. At least it might encourage you to submit your own terrible work to Sundance. And the main girl's pretty cute.
Casino Royale (1967)
Get Out the Straight Jacket
If you make it through this whole mess of a movie and claim you thoroughly enjoyed it, it might be time to commit yourself (I should know. A friend of mine that's kinda nuts says he loves it.). This movie induces restlessness throughout its running time. If it were not for the oh, so many beautiful women romping around in sexy late-60's style, I would have walked out of the room and prayed that the tape "mysteriously" deteriorated (That way I wouldn't have to buy my friend another copy.). Ursula Andress was gorgeous... Anyway, this is your classic (maybe the prototype) example of a movie trying to be funny and not succeeding even once. But if you think Tom Jones deserved Best Picture of the Year and that piece of crap with the Unknown Comic was a laugh riot, by all means, rent away. Good look. I still don't know or care what happened for the whole two hours of my misery.
Velvet Goldmine (1998)
Mediocre Stuff
I'll admit that the visuals were pretty impressive, as many have said, but the story was crap. It was not interesting at all. Being a big fan of both Bowie and Iggy, the only thing about this movie that interested me was trying to piece together the story with what I know of their individual histories. I have a feeling that much of the movie has nothing to do with reality, which it could be about. I think it could have been a good story, but somehow it just didn't come together. I just got bored with it and didn't care by the end. I'll watch Jackass instead.