mynameisal Reviews

Beyond Borders (2003)

beyond garbage

[3/10 · 24 November 2003]

This movie is one of the worst movies I've seen in theaters this year- and I've seen Underworld (Okay, Underworld was worse). The cinematography and score were average at best and the acting wasn't going beyond borders either. I went to see this hoping to: a) catch a good film that would give intelligent commentary on social issues while showing off the beauty that is our global culture or b) have a nice long make out session. Instead, all I got was a crappy film and a cramp in my arm. Boo to this movie. The scenery was indeed beautiful though- it's a shame nobody mentioned that to the DP.

Blue Car (2002)

a chick flick this is not (chick flick is a horrible term anyway)

[9/10 · 10 April 2003]

i just saw this earlier today at a screening at los angeles city college and i was absolutely floored. the acting was incredible (which goes to show how great karen is as a writer/director) and it was even a great film from a cinematic perspective. lacc was lucky enough to be granted a screening of the film on the grounds of the directors' previous study there back in the early to mid-90s. even though i was forced to stand for most of the movie (it was a full house), i really got into it. from the perspective of a film student, i greatly admired all of karen's talents; her cinematography/score fit the movie perfectly, the performances from the actors was phenomenal, and the subtlety was well-crafted to the point of elegance. overall a very powerful, personal, and amazingly done film. in conclusion, i plan on paying for a ticket to see it again when it premieres in may.

San Pietro (1945)

the extra minutes are worth fighting for

[9/10 · 20 March 2003]

i recently saw the approx. 40min version of this film and i must say, knowing what is missing from the 32min version, that it is indeed far more impactful and superior. images of more fallen soldiers in white body bags appear and reappear throughout to the point of it being a reocurring theme. i'm sure it's just as brilliant without the extra footage, but if you can, try to see the extra footage. while i have not seen the true original (running approx. 50min), i'm quite positive it's even better than the one i was fortunate enough to see. a great documentary film all-around (even if some of it was staged).

Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever (2002)

this movie is bad, even for an action movie

[2/10 · 24 September 2002]

what happens when an action movie that has no plot, bad acting, horrible music, and no style whatsoever also lacks in action and technique? ballistic! that's right! i went to the theater expecting to get my adrenaline up with either a bit of martial arts or a good gunfight or something, instead i ended up sitting through a mediocre movie with lame no-substance explosions and uncreative slow motion. granted, an action movie can lack acting and even plotholes and i'll still love it, but what the hell am i supposed to do if the movie doesn't even have good action? this was terrible, don't watch it, and don't listen to the easily amused. explosions can be good but not if used as a substitute for action, or substance even. go rent charlie's angels and desperado, apparently banderas and liu work best separately.

Future War (1997 Video)

Hey this movie is bad

[1/10 · 5 April 2001]

How bad is it?

It's so bad, you'll no longer fear the icy grip of death.

Now you're saying, "it can't be that bad."

Oh...but it is.

-Al

Jawbreaker (1999)

The kind of movie that makes you want to gag on a Jawbreaker

[3/10 · 17 December 2000]

Well, it starts off fast, with death and lots of color, but then it goes blah. The ending can be predicting within a couple scenes. The dialog goes from crispy to that stale "I'm a bitch with attitude *snap snap*" we've all grown sick of. It just gets boring. Because, really, we've all seen this type of movie before, except this time someone dies. Fortunately, to save it from getting a 2/10 as opposed to the 3 I gave it, it remains colorful and purdy throughout, and Marilyn Manson's cameo boosted it as well. Oh and Pam Grier is cool. Speaking of Pam Grier, Jackie Brown is a good movie. If you're going to see Jawbreaker, I recommend seeing Jackie Brown instead.

-Al

Prototype (1992)

Bad Medium

[3/10 · 28 November 2000]

Throughout the movie, I kept on thinking to myself, "This movie would have been a lot better if it were an anime." It has all the features of an anime and could have been a pretty good one, but it's just that it didn't work out too well with live action. It was easy to notice that the director had some nice ideas, with the colors and all, but it just didn't work out for him. To date, the only movies I've seen that have successfully portrayed a good anime in live action form are "Romeo Must Die," "The Matrix," and "Pi."

Possessed (2000 TV Movie)

Sweet Jesus this was boring!

[3/10 · 2 November 2000]

Sure THIS one is fact-based, but who cares when the facts are quite boring? The Exorcist was much better. I rather see something interesting yet loosely based on fact than something closer to the truth yet of the quality of a dramatization in a documentary. Not at any point during the course of the movie did I believe that that kid was possessed. However, he did remind me of that one kid from Problem Child. Now HE was possessed. John Ritter was funny in that though. I still watch reruns of Three's Company whenever I can...

-Al

Bean (1997)

What the hell happened!?

[3/10 · 22 September 2000]

Have you seen the show!? It's great stuff! But what the hell happened with this movie?!? I mean, where did this entire museum garbage come from? And why are there two people from Ghostbusters 2 in this?? What the bloody hell happened?!

-Al

The Bad Boys of Saturday Night Live (1998 TV Special)

Most excellent

[8/10 · 23 August 2000]

This tape is great. It has many a great skit on it. Good stuff, so if you lika the show, you lika the tape. However...it's pretty short...or seems like it. But ah well, whaddya gonna do.

-Al

Lost & Found (I) (1999)

Good Rental

[7/10 · 22 August 2000]

Sure it's no classic but there are some parts that are pretty damn funny. Makes a perfect rental, or watch-on-cable. So if you like David Spade, "There's Something About Mary," or Deee-Lite, give this movie some viewage.

-Al

Tom and Jerry's Greatest Chases (2000 Video)

More!

[8/10 · 28 July 2000]

I've always loved this cartoon, well, except for those weirdo ones with synthesized sounds and flat animation. Fortunately, they're not included. Unfortunately, a lot isn't included in this collection. Especially some of my favorite Tom and Jerry cartoons. However, there is some classic stuff on this. So go get it, even if it is only 13 cartoons and a clippet of some movie that looks stupid. It's worth every dollar you spend, unless it's overpriced.

The Pest (1997)

Oh no

[4/10 · 27 July 2000]

So you like this movie eh? It's understandable. John Leguizamo is funny in it, and there's some nice little quotables hidden within the movie. But I mean come on. This movie is terrible, even on a very forgiving scale, this movie comes up pretty weak. But oh well, John saves the day.

Surf Ninjas (1993)

A Very Good Bad Movie

[6/10 · 26 July 2000]

You know how when someone smells something bad and they invite you to go smell it, you do so? Well that's a lot like this movie, it stinks but you wanna be around to experience it anyway. The plot is stupid, the action is cheap, and the humor is very early 90s (you know, lame with blatant abuse of the phrase "psych!") But who cares? This is a dumb movie for people who like dumb movies; and it's one of my favorites. Plus, how can you go wrong with a movie that has the word "ninja" in its title? (Except for those 3 Ninjas movies, that's a different kind of bad, the bad kind.)

-Al