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Reviews
Alien Apocalypse (2005)
The Reason Why MST3K Exists
This movie was not good. It was so bad it made any Tori Spelling Lifetime movie look like Schindler's List. That being said, I loved it and couldn't stop watching. This is a great Bruce Campbell B movie and everyone who is a fan of either should watch it immediately. The acting was terrible, the dialog was hokey but still, I had to finish it to the end. You can also tell that most of the actor's voices are being dubbed over. I saw Battlefield Earth and I knew it was bad 10 minutes in and yet I sat through till the end, why? Why when I should have seen this movie, it would have made it all worth it. This movie was awesome. So anyway, a group of astronauts land back on Earth 40 years after leaving to find alien bugs have enslaved the people and are forcing them to mill lumber, why? Because the bugs need the wood, it's like their gold. MAKES SENSE TO ME. That by the way is the least lame plot point of the story....The astronauts lead a group of rebels to overthrow the lumber mill and free the people. The bugs are surprisingly easy to kill with BOWS and ARROWS and are defeated.
His Bodyguard (1998)
Not bad...predictable though
I was channel surfing the other day and caught this one. I kinda liked it, though I guessed the bad guy by the end....oh well. The main guy, Anthony Natale was a hottie though, very easy on the eyes and made it much more enjoyable to watch. I was slightly irritated that the only thing he says (speaks) to Jenny is 'I love you'. As if being deaf is fine but at the end of the day and when it really matters, it's his speaking skills that really define their relationship. It was the same at the deaf school, any amount of speech is wonderful whether or not it's worth it. I think there should be more deaf actors on TV and he's one to watch....
Showbiz Moms & Dads (2004)
Great Show! Horrible Parents.
There is just so much to say about this show. I honestly hope that the parents represented are *small* percentage of actual stage parents. All of them say to the cameras that this is their child/family's dream and it's what they want but their children's actions are the complete opposite. They seem to be projecting some maturity onto their kids that they do not have. Here's my review of each one:
Jordan Barron: Incredibly spoiled, her mom lets her treat her horribly. This is possibly age-appropriate as she is only 14 but still, it's hard to watch. I don't know enough about her talent to say whether or not she's got a shot, but her personality is bad, especially around her mother. Is mom waiting for her kid to strike it rich or something? Geez! Move back with your husband, if he's still around.
Shane Klingensmith: He's a cute kid but you can tell that he is doing a lot of this to please his mom. Can she really tell the difference between him wanting it for real or just to make her happy? Also, when she freaks out about something, so does Shane. He gets sick, gets upset, is that really neccesary?
Jordan Mosley: Her relationship with her mom seemed the most healthy. There is a lot of love an affection between the two of them, hopefully it is not just because work seems to be going well.
The Nutters: The MOST messed up family. They all moved from a nice home in Vermont to a 2 bedroom apartment in New York to act, the dad's dream. No one else's though. I love how the dad made his sacrifices in Vermont and now it's his turn. Right, because his dream is affecting the whole family. Can't he tell they all don't want to be there? They can say that it's fun, but them not doing well in school or 'forgetting' important things is them saying they don't like it. Duncan is pretty selfish to want the sacrifices from his family but isn't willing to do the same, yeah he already gave a lot up. Is it anywhere near what his wife and kids are now? Not even close. His kids are going to have issues with this for a long time. His wife is a saint but also allowing her children to be miserable. She needs to put them first just a little bit.
Whale Rider (2002)
A Narrative Analysis
The Mythological Hero Pai:
On the west coast of New Zealand is a small Maori village called Whangara. The people there have an oral history over a thousand years old of how they came to be there having migrated to the area. The story is that a man named Paikea came on a canoe from Hawaii. The canoe capsized and he was rescued by a whale and brought to Whangara where he was then called the 'Whale Rider'. From that time on he was always known as a great leader among his people.
Since the days of Paikea, every first born male heir to this Whale Rider would take his name and be a leader among his people. When Pai was born that tradition ended and in the eyes of her grandfather (Koro) would one day bring about the end of the tribe. Pai, the heroine, was born the same day that her twin brother and mother died. Not only was the family saddened over her mother and brother's deaths, but her birth and survival broke a long line of first-born male heirs going all the way back to the great Whale Rider Paikia. Pai's father then flees the country and she is then raised by her grandmother (Nanny Flowers), grandfather and uncle (Rawiri).
We begin her narrative when she is about twelve years old. She is very much independent from not being raised by a parent, yet at times desperately needs the love of her family. She knows that a dark cloud hangs over her from the deaths of her mother and twin brother, something she had nothing to do with, yet her spirit remains strong and unbreakable throughout the story.
All throughout the journey of the hero are tests and trials. Her entire life is seems is a test of her will over the conflicts with her grandfather. While he does love her, he also knows that she is the one to bring the downfall of the tribe and ultimate destruction; all because she lived while her brother died.
Koro knows that he must restore the morality of the tribe and his duties to them are more important than anything else. Even if this means he will put Pai down at every difficult moment of the journey. But instead of Pai falling into despair at this treatment, she uses it to become stronger both physically and spiritually. These tests help mold her into the true hero and leader.
The conflict between Pai and Koro comes to a head when she wins a speech competition at her school and delivers her speech in honor of her grandfather on leadership qualities that exist outside of birth order and gender. Koro chooses to leave for this school program late and misses the speech but also he discovers herd of whales washed up on the beach near their home. When everyone returns to also find the whales, the entire community bands together to save them; Pai is forbidden from helping as she is seen as the one who is the cause of all problems.
There is more parallel between Pai and Paikea in a 'resurection' and 'rebirth' and in the end `it is not society that is to guide and save the hero, but precisely the reverse. And so every one of us shares the supreme ordeal -carries the cross of the redeemer- not in the bright moments of his tribe's great victories, but in the silences of his personal despair' (Campbell 391: Hero With A Thousand Faces).
`.we have not even to risk the adventure alone; for the heroes of all time have gone before us; the labyrinth is thoroughly known; we have only to follow the thread of the hero-path. And where we had thought to find an abomination, we shall find a god; where we had thought to slay another, we shall slay ourselves; where we had thought to travel outward, we shall come to the center of our own existence; where we had thought to be alone, we shall be with all the world' (Campbell 25: Hero With A Thousand Faces).
Possibly in another thousand years, the Maori of Whangara will be telling of a twelve year old female heir to Paikea spurring another leader/hero in the making onward to greatness.
And yes, I LOVED this movie.