marleymom-2 Reviews

Prom Night (1980)

If Carrie and Halloween had a love child..........

[12 July 2004]

Prom Night .......No need to be uptight!

This isn't the best slasher film out there, but it is required viewing for all who love the genre. Jamie Lee looks her scream queen best, playing Kim Hammond. Just happens that today is the Prom and 6 years ago to the day Kim's sister was killed falling out a window. That is a bit of a bummer for Kim and her brother but it does not stop Kim from pressing on as prom queen. The real bummer is someone is stalking Kim and her friends. Breaking mirrors, making wierd phone calls and cutting up yearbooks are this psycho's MO. Could it be the slackjawed janitor, the hometown sex offender, or Leslie Neilsen, who disappears before the finale of the movie? Who knows? Who cares! We are here to watch Jamie Lee get down with her bad self. The "Let's show them what we can do" dance sequence makes this movie worth the price of admission. Students of the movie Carrie will find a whole host of similarities. Required genre and cheeseball viewing.

Sweet Home Alabama (2002)

Didn't This Offend Any Southerners?

[9 February 2003]

I'm a yankee and I was offended for them. Not everyone from the south lives in a trailer or on a plantation. Nor do they fry every form of food. This contrived love story is saccherine-light fare. You only had to have watched the commercials to know all of the plot and most of the storyline of SHA. We all took bets on who Reese Witherspoon's character would end up with. We all bet the same and we were all right, it was that obvious! SHA is a slightly entertaining love story about a white trash southerner who escaped her past. Her past being a husband she committed to at too young of an age. This left her feeling trapped, so she did what any woman would do. She ran away to New York and become a world famous fashion designer. When the mayor of NY's son wants her hand in marriage she must return to her whitetrash past to get her divorce papers signed. You can guess where it goes from there. Normally I like Reese Witherspoon a lot. She was awesome in Election as well as Pleasentville. J-Lo could have starred in this role. Just replace whitetrash husband with barrio spouse and there you go! I hope in the future Ms. Witherspoon picks the better roles she so obviously has the talent for.

Redneck Zombies (1989 Video)

Reminds me of A NASCAR race I once went to.......

[16 January 2003]

Filmed in what looks like a cornfield in glorious Smyrna Delaware, Redneck Zombies delivers traditional Troma-fare. Somehow a vat of toxic waste makes it's connection with one rednecked family's moonshine. Before you know it......Zombie/Cannibal festival. While this is going down we have a subplot, i.e. potential victims/survivors added to the mix. A group of mismatched folks who look more like the local Smyrna drama club, than a bunch of hearty campers, start hiking through the danger zone. You can probably figure out what happens next. Being that this is Troma there will be lots of blood and guts. The movie, despite being extremely low budget, is generous with the gore. There are some faults to this movie though. A major one being the cheesy 80's computer graphics added in on occasion to create that "bad acid trip" effect. The creators also had a Texas Chainsaw fetish, as seen in the last few moments of the film. If you are into zombies, rednecks, hiking in cornfields, community theater, or moonshine. This may be the movie for you. It delivers what it promises plain and simple.

The Sweetest Thing (2002)

Jeez, Chill out it's just a comedy

[3 September 2002]

This movie was pretty darn funny. I wasn't expecting much and what I was expecting was much more "cutsie pie" than the actual product delivered. This movie was crass and occasionally vulgar. I like that. Cameron Diaz was ok but Christina Applegate's comic timing was wonderful. People who are trashing this film took it way too serious. It is FUN! Remember when movies were occasionally meant to be FUN!

Deliverance (1972)

Maybe next time they will play golf..........*SPOILERS*

[29 June 2002]

This is a very interesting piece of 70's cinema. I have heard so much about this movie that was created 2 years before I was born. Being a fan of the horror genre you would think that this movie would have crossed my path, cause let's face it folks. This is a horror film. What could be more frightening than being lost, isolated, and hunted. The movie opens with our 4 city folks heading for a weekend jaunt to an unspoiled river that won't exsist in a few weeks. It is being dammed to provide power to the ever growing Atlanta. Knowing ahead of time what was coming, I had a hard time sympathizing with these four guys. Lewis, Bobby, and Ed were rude to the locals of this "inbred" mountain town. The only redeeming member was Drew who decides to have an impromptu guitar/banjo jam with a very creepy but talented boy. These guys were kind of cocky and other than Lewis I wasn't sure why they came along for such a trip. Commence rafting, and camping and then some more rafting. Cue the infamous "Squeal" scene. I didn't quite understand the dynamic here. These 2 grown men allow themselves to be completely overpowered, without so much as a fight, a kick, a punch.....nothing. The most pathetic part of Ned Beatty's rape sequence is watching him try to crawl up the hill while the mountain man is grabbing on to his briefs like some sort of harness. Cue Bert Reynolds and his bow, saving Ed, Bobby and this movie from an X rating. Now here is another part I had trouble understanding. If I was in this group and this series of events just occured to me or my friends. I would have abosolutely no moral dilema with offing this cretin and getting the hell out of Dodge! But the guys fight amoungst themselves over the moral dilema of having just killed a man. Nevermind that the man was gonna rape and probably kill 2 men. Drew, the guitar plucker, thinks they should take the high road and let the law handle things. Thank goodness cooler heads prevailed and the guys decide burial was the right way to go. How perfect!! This place will be under several feet of water in a few days. The rest of the film consists of these guys trying to escape from an enemy that might not even be there. This leads to many injuries, twists, turns etc...... See it for yourself. Deliverance is a thought provoking movie. I was amazed to realize how many early 80's camp/horror movies stole from this one.

Eye of the Beholder (1999)

WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED HERE????

[30 January 2002]

** Possible Spoilers** I love Ewan MacGregor. I love Ashley Judd. How could this go wrong? Well, where can I start? This was nothing like I expected. Somehow I expected a crime-drama-mystery sort of on the order of Kiss the Girls. What I got was some obsession freak-show that made no sense.

What about his daughter, how is she related to Judd's character. How annoying were those sequences with the daughter? It was interesting how she just faded away as the movie neared it's climax. At least I think that was the climax. I'm not really sure. Judd's character was obnoxious and merely not interesting. Why does she kill, and why did she stop? Something about her dad, a street bum, disappearing on Christmas. MacGregor's character was bland and annoying. He acted like an obsessed pussy until the last 10 minutes of the film. Then I wasn't really sure what he was thinking. The only standout performance in this whole mess was Jason Preistley playing an angry junkie. At first I saw Brandon but then he slowly faded away as Prestley"s character beat the crap out of Judd. It was a welcome scene, which basically sums up how I felt about the movie. I just wanted to slap the main characters around a little ....knock some sense into them.

The Wizard of Oz (1939)

I can't say much more than what has already been said.....

[4 November 2001]

This film ROCKS and it always will. No matter how many computer generated-Matrixlike-movies you ever see. Wizard of OZ will always rule because it's real, real people, real sets, real midgets. Sure I could see the string holding up the lion's tail. Stuff like that gives this film a certain authenticity that films today can barely hold a candle to. And yes I did try the Pink Floyd-Dark Side trick and contrary to what another reviewer stated, it was awesome. If you line up the record correctly, after the lion growls for the the 3rd time and takes a breath start the record, you will find yourself tripping out on the coincedences. There is always a scene change when there is a song change and thats just one of the many things you will notice. Give it a try for a trippy spin on a classic movie

Joy Ride (2001)

CandyCane......Are you there?

[7 October 2001]

***SPOILERS*** ***SPOILERS*** ******SPOILER ALERT********

Well first off, I'm not gonna trash this movie like so many others have. Everybody remember the days when you went to a movie for a good time. Whether it was for a belly laugh or some good spills and chills, Joy Ride has all of the above, by the way. Don't come into the theatre armed with cynicism and a desparation for barebones realism. Do come to the theatre prepared to put yourself in the backseat of the aged Chrysler and ride along with 3 young people who do some really stupid things. Then prepare to feel some of the best suspense cooked up by Hollywood in a long time, as the 3 young people pay for their stupidity. The plot is a simple one. Lewis(Walker) has a crush on childhood friend Venna(Sobieski). He trades in a airline ticket for an old car, smart move these days, so he can pick Venna up from her college on the long trek from Ca to NJ. On the way he finds out his petty criminal brother, Fuller(Zahn)is in need of being bailed out of jail, so goody goody Lewis bails him out. Fuller has strange ideas of fun on this trip, ideas that include buying an old CB radio. At first it seems that the radio will be used for a speed trap finder but soon Fuller has Lewis pretending to be a girl and giving verbal advances to some scary sounding trucker named Rusty Nail. Before you know it someone dies, via Mr Nail. The chase is on and Venna hasn't even been picked up yet. Some suspensful moments occur and the viewer is left to think that Rusty Nail might be done f*cking with the brothers. So once Venna is picked up, a good time is had by all including heavy drinking and Fuller trying to get into Venna's pants, for which she almost obliges. But before this can happen, that damn Rusty Nail guy shows up again. Hence, the chase begins again to the climax of the movie.

There are many gut wreching moments of suspense in this film. There also many moments you want to reach out and b*tchslap one or all of the kids. Of course these kind of plotlines don't exsist without characters who do stupid things. The lighting in this film was beautiful and set the tone for many of the suspensful scenes. My only complaint about the film is there seems like there might have been more to it after the ending. I have seen publicity stills of the movie and there are shots that look like they came after the ending. Was there more that had to be edited down? Maybe the DVD will tell. Give Joy Ride a chance. In my opinion it is not the "typical" teen slasher flick, not even close.

7th Heaven (1996–2007)

Not 7th Heaven.....Self Rightious Heaven...That's It!!

[20 July 2001]

That should be the real title for this nauseating ensamble of morality and christianity. Occasionally I watch this show for the same reason I look at a car crash. Human nature, you know, things that repulse us sometimes draw us in. From the semi-slutty Mary flirting with the dangers of POT SMOKING. To the middle "bug eyed" daughter who looks like a space alien and can't stop tossing her hair. And the little girl with the curly hair doesn't look like anyone in the family. Did the mailman give Mr Pastorman a break from his procreating duties? Who knows!! What we do know is, here is a family that can do no wrong while the whole world goes to hell around them. And why the f*** can't they just call grandpa, GRANDPA, and not COLONOL???

Madman (1981)

I need TP for my bunghole!!!!

[5 June 2001]

I'm sorry but I had to say it. *****CAUTION SPOILERS AHEAD********** Like you need any spoilers to figure out where this movie is going. This had to be a gathering of some of the dumbest victims in th camp-slasher genre's history. "Oh no I just found one of the counselers dead, and I'm trying to escape in a bus. Let me just stop the bus and let the Madman hang on the door instead of driving away." This was just one of the many stupid moves the characters in this movie made and without this lack of common sense, this movie would have had no plot at all. Yes I know most camper/slash flicks(with the exception of Mother's Day) are based on hormonal teen stupidity. Yet the stupidity of these middle-aged "teen" counselers is mind boggling. I wish they would have shown the scene where the counselers were getting high cause they all acted stoned. I was actually rooting for Madman Marz to off a few of them, including TP and that curly haired chick who hid in the fridge. And the music, don't even get me started......... I have to agree with another reviewer the "theme song" ,sang with Barry Manilow flavor by TP, was a classic. Ok let me insert a few positves. The lighting was well done. The suspense was there. Made evident by long drawn out scenes of a rubber hand touching a tree,wall,branch etc.......While we hear grunting and synth-music. However there were a few scenes where I had this constant nagging feeling like I was watching a porno without the actual sex scenes. All the actors in this movie have that 70's porn movie look about them. Check it out and you'll see what I mean.

House on Haunted Hill (1999)

Starts out like a Tool video...ends with cheesy computer graphics

[20 March 2001]

*MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS* This is not a bad movie. In a world where Scream-like movies dominate this was a refreshing change. The acting is a little shallow in areas. There are some scares though. Some very creepy images were enough to make this a scary movie. Where the movie went wrong was at the end where it succumbed to "Lets hurry up and finish this now" syndrome. The whole thing goes wrong right after the final physical fight scene between Price and his wife. He wants to KILL her yet when the evil "DARKNESS" of the house starts erupting from a room in the basement, he screams for her to get up and get out of the room. This was totally out of character for Price and his wife. At this point the computer generated Images take over and suffocate this film. If they just would have stuck with the whole Dr. Vanacutt scenario, this film would have been one major creep-fest.

Phantasm (1979)

BOOOOOYYYYYYY!!!!!

[7 January 2001]

With a good number of horror films you really need to suspend disbelief, relax, and let your mind go. Phantasm is one of those movies where if you do the above 3 things you will be richly rewarded. My first memories of this film are fuzzy late night viewings on network! TV. Even with a substancial portion deleted for TV the point was driven home. The grainy images of flying spheres, twitching fingers,a tall man in all kind of nightmarish stances stick with me 15 years later. Now I am inspired to purchase the DVD version with all the groovy little extras. This is the first time I am treated to the uncut version and I was not disappointed. The mood is dark 70's horror at it's finest. The soundtrack makes Halloween's seem hokey. Phatasm is filled with suspense. Something that has since disappeared from horror movies almost altogether. The one critisism I'd have to make of this movie is that the plot jumps almost as many times as you do watching it. The relationship between Mike and Jody was an honest attempt to make you care for the characters and elevate the movie above the typical slash and dash genre that was on the horizon at the time it was made. Trouble was that we never devled too deeply into the Mike/Jody thing. It was almost like the story wanted to paint a deeper picture about relationships and friendships in the town that never made it to screen. But that aside Phantasm is a fear trip. Turn down the lights, fire up some candles, lock the doors and put this one on play. And tell me honestly when you lay in your bed at night you won't have some of this films images playing through your head.

Basket Case (1982)

A Classic

[9/10 · 29 March 2000]

Again here is another B-movie horror classic from my youth. It never takes itself too seriously yet Basket Case still retains a creepy atmosphere throughout. Could it be the grainy film quality, the seedy NYC enviorment or the stop motion antics of our hero(?) in question Bilial. If you are a fan of the weird macabre 80's low budget horror movie you have probably seen this already. If you haven't run out and try to find the uncut version. You won't be disappointed as long as you aren't looking for "Scream" or I saw what you did...........

Mother's Day (1980)

Early 80's cultural satire wrapped in a gory exploitative shell

[26 February 2000]

I like this movie. When I was a teenager and I first saw it I loved it. Of course then I was enthralled with gore fests. This movie is definitely gory but when I was 13 the satirical vibe was somewhat lost on me. You see Mother moves her two "mama's boys" to the woods. Where she can take what is good from the city and leave the rest behind. What is "good" are all the things you see on TV from Fonzie to breakfest cereals. The house they live in is a marvel of production values. Two thirds of the budget alone had to have gone into decorating the house. It certainly didn't go into the Special effects. Such as the shoddy moment of blood spattering before decapitation occurs. As early 80's slice and dice goes this far outshines the typical camper in peril scenerio. We are introduced to the three main (victims) characters and we even get meaningful flashbacks in their lives. This makes it a little harder to take when they are brutalized. All in all Mother's Day ain't Life is Beautiful but why would you be that aisle of the video store unless you wanted to see some inbred choke on Drano.

Tromeo and Juliet (1996)

Troma at It's Best

[25 February 2000]

This is one of the best Troma films I have ever seen. Even people who aren't fans of gratuitous B-films will enjoy this Shakespearian satire. Sharp fans of Troma will recognize the many homages to various Troma films throughout. The basic story of Romeo and Juliet is left somewhat intact. Just add in lesbians,body piercing,dismemberment,incestual torture and boy-happy priests. Don't let this fool you though, the characters, especially the main ones, are well acted. The story even has a happy yet Troma-like ending.