Imagine if La La Land took a giant 💩 all over Singin' in The Rain. Poorly written characters: it shouldn't take over 1/3 of the movie to show a genuine emotion. Poorly paced plot; exhausting to watch this manic wet dream. Poorly directed: like LLL, it's all gimmicks sans talent. Why? I don't understand myself. Whiplash was brilliant. Perhaps he can only function on a smaller scale. Why not focus on what you're good at?? This is his second awful flaming pile of celluloid. Like another overly lauded director, this is tolerable because of its inserts and music. Has anyone ever watched a Stallone movie for the background action?!
Reviews
27 Reviews
Narcos: Mexico
(2018– )
Big Fall from Grace
8 March 2023
Warning: Spoilers
The drama and intensity of a psychotic drug kingpin being brought down by the DEA from NARCOS is still unrivaled. N:Mexico is a light and boring version with poor writing, acting and pacing. Why the former DEA narrative unless we're tying the tales together? Why Michael Peña as a lead?! The crooks are the ones sufficiently entertaining and the cops come off as total a-holes, whiny babies and idiots. Watch the doc "Last Narc" instead and save yourself the frustration of 3 worthless seasons. Hopefully El Chapo will bring a better team of story runners. It's disappointing because the REAL story was nuts!!!
Barbarian
(2022)
Mediocre Drama at Best
16 September 2022
Great cast and decent direction, but the story never rises above standard tension and that's only because of lightning and sound. The characters are undeveloped, the writing first draft. There was a lot of intentional fodder from the Midwest, Detroit and metoo# that only served to distract from the poor writing, plot character development, and production value. Would not see again, did not leave me questioning anything but my lost time. Horror snobs will not enjoy, it is not good enough to make fun of, there is not sufficient gore. I was left with asking myself: Where are all of the corpses?!?
X
(II) (2022)
Watch laundry dry on a line instead!
3 April 2022
Warning: Spoilers
Poorly shot and edited. Whenever it felt like something should happen with the film crew, they cut away. Awful subplot takes half of the movie and is not disgusting or horrifying, just stupid.
5/10 means I would never watch this again.
5/10 means I would never watch this again.
He's a cop?!
28 December 2021
No on mentions at any point that this conviction should only be happening because he's a cop. They should be held to a higher standard than the general population. This documentary paints a victimized picture of this "man" who knew what he was doing and what he job was a made a bad decision. Stop equating fetishism to serial killers and rapists!
Wolfwalkers
(2020)
Without animus
7 March 2021
Apart from this being my least favorite style of animation, the story is without soul or style. It watches like Pocahontas melded w/ a rotten Mononoke. Writing is sub-par and treats kids like idiots; real issues are not faced or mentioned although they are right there. Like the "townies" the stink of the tellers of this unripened tale will not last.
The Out of Towners
(1970)
Has not held up with time
27 February 2021
Warning: Spoilers
Unlike most of Simon's protagonists, Lemmon perfectly portrays the everyman in that he whines about not getting the best treatment while everyone around him in the same situations are bearing up. He drags his wife across the city because his shattered pride is too precious to sit still.
As a white urban woman, I think I can see exactly how minorities see the entitled.
As a white urban woman, I think I can see exactly how minorities see the entitled.
Lead by internet "sleuths" rather than facts
16 February 2021
Mulan
(2020)
Disney LA fails again
12 January 2021
Disney's problem with LA is it's failure to commit to an actual film. Half goofy nonsense to recoup the loss of whimsy since it's no longer animated and half badly planned mega historical action. They had so much to work with but instead chose to treat children like they were idiots.
Wild Wild Country
(2018)
Watch the irony unfold
8 August 2020
Watch a group of conservative people whine about outsiders. Watch the outsiders develop into a cult run by two sociopaths. Only likable people were local law enforcement. Insufficient objectivity. Crybabies all around.
A Christmas Carol
(2019)
Disgraceful use of the Dickens tale
26 December 2019
Unless you can later block it out, don't bother. Scrooge has been re-birthed as a sweat shop boss with a past of molestation.
Why would an accomplished screenwriter feel the need to pervert something so heartfelt and timeless?! Perhaps like most of his work he is pessimistic and turgid, bordering on a pitch soul. Confusing and sad as he has actually created decent works of his own. Why not do the same now?
Why would an accomplished screenwriter feel the need to pervert something so heartfelt and timeless?! Perhaps like most of his work he is pessimistic and turgid, bordering on a pitch soul. Confusing and sad as he has actually created decent works of his own. Why not do the same now?
Summer of 84
(2018)
Derivative!
22 December 2018
There could have been something original here if there had been any acknowledgement of what they stole from better films/TV. The writing was terrible, the only decent acting came from the solo female teen. Don't bother!
Menace II Society
(1993)
Avoid at all costs
14 July 2018
Having waited decades to see this film as I knew it could not stand up to Singleton's masterpiece, I am again disappointed in the Hughes brother an attempt at cinema. As always, the writing is terrible and the few decent scenes of acting are only to be found with Khandi, Samuel and Mr. Duke. I've never understood the attraction to this film other than moron who wanted to be hoods and as an adult it does not resonate one iota with reality or cinematic grandeur. Everything these brothers do looks like they were most influenced by blacksplotation, but they have no sense of humor, levity or self-awareness.
The Lord of the Rings
(1978)
Rotoscoped Concentrated Evil
31 March 2002
Bakshi did the world of animation a terrible disservice when he decided to tackle the grandeur that is Tolkien's "The Lord of The Ring". He took the first half of the book (3 out of 6 [in terms of books, it is normally broken up into a "trilogy" of The Fellowship of The Ring, The Two Towers, and The Return of The King]) and attempted to fit it into just over an hour and a half film. There is no character development here, and Tolkien "virgins" will surely be lost as to just what a wide scope the author had attempted. With no explanation as to just how crucial the journey of Frodo is, the viewer is rushed through the high points of the story; elements such as the friendships of the four hobbits, Aragorn's (Strider, the ranger) background, Boromir's inner struggle, and Gandalf's constant and undying love are non-existent. And it only worsens as the film progresses!
The battle of Helm's Deep is so butchered it is almost unbearable to watch, let alone comment on. This is where the Rotoscoping really goes overboard - at this point in the film it is almost as though Bakshi has completely given up (such a shame he didn't, this would have done far less harm had it never been finished). The battle is as lackluster as they come... it is difficult at times to tell which side we are watching, and Bakshi keeps the presence of Aragorn, Gimili, and Legolas to a minimum for some appallingly stupid reason. And yet again, the viewer is rushed through the storyline - there is little if any explanation as to whom Theoden is, let alone his motives in this battle. Eomer, Eowyn, and Grima Wormtongue are mere fixtures rather than critical characters in the development of the journey.
This is surely a film to be missed on all accounts (unless of course you want to truly understand what a blessing Peter Jackson is to the film community). Tolkien fans and virgins alike will find fault in nearly all Bakshi has done here... YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
The battle of Helm's Deep is so butchered it is almost unbearable to watch, let alone comment on. This is where the Rotoscoping really goes overboard - at this point in the film it is almost as though Bakshi has completely given up (such a shame he didn't, this would have done far less harm had it never been finished). The battle is as lackluster as they come... it is difficult at times to tell which side we are watching, and Bakshi keeps the presence of Aragorn, Gimili, and Legolas to a minimum for some appallingly stupid reason. And yet again, the viewer is rushed through the storyline - there is little if any explanation as to whom Theoden is, let alone his motives in this battle. Eomer, Eowyn, and Grima Wormtongue are mere fixtures rather than critical characters in the development of the journey.
This is surely a film to be missed on all accounts (unless of course you want to truly understand what a blessing Peter Jackson is to the film community). Tolkien fans and virgins alike will find fault in nearly all Bakshi has done here... YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
A Knight's Tale
(2001)
Fast, Fun, and Furious!
13 May 2001
I'll admit, after seeing the trailers for this movie I was hardly impressed enough to commit to lining up on opening night to see it (in fact, I had almost written it off completely). But after curiously browsing through the track listing on the soundtrack, and finding the one utterly fabulous David Bowie on the soundtrack, I figured it couldn't be all that bad. When the theater lights faded and the movie began, I was torn between two simultaneous urges to laugh out loud at the fact that the jousting fans were stomping right along to "We Will Rock You" and to join right in. This scene says it all... this movie was not designed to provide it's audience with a deep and profound message of how peasants are persecuted by nobility, nor it is designed to leave the audience feeling deeply connected with the situations the characters have faced - this movie was made to make you laugh (and it most certainly does), make you cheer (if you didn't... what is the matter with you?), and make you want to savor every devilishly witty moment. For those of you purists... swallow your pride and wallow in the sinful delights of "A Knight's Tale" - the most sinful being that of Paul Bettany's portrayl of Geoffrey Chaucer... certainly Chaucer did not possess the physical aspects of Bettany, but the personality is incredibly fitting.
This movie DOES NOT disappoint!
This movie DOES NOT disappoint!
Hannibal
(2001)
Harris' Failed Attempt at The Resurrection of His Famous Antagonist
11 February 2001
While I didn't really enjoy the book of Hannibal (it felt as though it was written for the sole purpose of becoming another silver screen moment) I had high hopes for the film because it was being placed into the very capable hands of Ridley Scott. But this film just proves that a good film must begin with a great story. I had hopes for Julianne Moore in the role of Clarice (even though my heart's tendency is to cry out for Jodie), but there was so little character development or exploration of her in "Hannibal" she might as well have been non-existant. The return of Anthony Hopkins should have been the sole basis for bringing out the backstory exhibited in the novel... yet the audience is thrown dark comedic lines rather than a clear explanation for why he is what he is. I can only hope that the adaptation of Harris' novels will stop here as it is clear that only Jonathon Demme possess the artistic vision to create such a ghastly and beautiful cinematic treat.
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