pierredb Reviews

Brokeback Mountain (2005)

Brokedown Film

[3/10 · 17 April 2006]

This film was SLOW. The plot was mostly that of two angst-filled men (who were possibly bisexual, possibly gay, possibly mixed), neither of whom got what they wanted.

If people think they are going to see "gay sex" they should forget it. There are better shots of Anne Hathaway's tits (which are impressive and do not look like the work of aftermarket manufacturing) than anything on the guys.

However, if this film had been about a man and a woman, it would have been relegated to the dust bin. It simply doesn't have much to it. It is barely a love story, mostly a tragedy of how two people can fail to get what they might want.

Fair at best. The acting is good, but the script is only fair and the pacing is awful.

"Far From Heaven" is a MUCH better movie.

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (2005)

The most faithful adaptation

[10/10 · 12 December 2005]

*** CAUTION -- MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS ***

I have seen a lot of film adaptations of books I've read. Sometimes the film is better than the book (Lord of the Rings actually improved on some parts of the book by consolidation and editing). Some are dreadful.

However, this time I feel they got it right. Yes, there were elements cut out, including some I loved (the lion at the White Witch's castle, that was so wonderful in his jubilance is just a shadow of the book), some things were added (more tension when the children are leaving the Beaver's home by a tunnel rather than the front door, when Mrs. Beaver has to take a second to lock it) and even characters and scenes either added (the fox) or changed (the river crossing).

All these seem picky, however, as EVERY MAJOR POINT of the book was in the movie.

The transformation of Peter from young boy who holds a sword in awe to knight who can fight is given, the forgiveness of Edmund, the mice chewing at Alsan's bindings at the Stone Table, these are all there! I loved the Narnia books as a child. Even though I read both Tolkien and Lewis and probably thought Tolkien better as a child, Narnia has stayed with me longer.

No, I am not a practicing Christian. I was an Anglican, but one of the things I loved about Lewis was his depiction of the more Anglican view that all Good Works that are done by someone are Good in the eyes of "God." (See "The Last Battle") That God is not some egomaniac as many seem to believe, that needs "credit" for a good work (if it isn't done in the name of Jesus, these people say, it isn't a Good Work), seems far more convincing to me of an omnipotent, omniscient God.

Narnia is wondrous because you can read it as a story, as a moral tale, as Christian allegory (though Lewis denied this) and more. It has something for people of every age and every level of complexity. The film managed to preserve that.

I hope Disney makes a TON of money from this film, and completes the series, giving this same level of attention to every film, every book.

Amazing Grace and Chuck (1987)

Amazing Crap

[1/10 · 31 July 2005]

I've no idea what dimwit from San Francisco came up with this stupid plot, but apparently they need to get off whatever drugs they are taking and put their analyst on danger money -- NOW.

Yeah, this is a plausible story, if you regard the alien abduction sequence in "Life of Brian" as plausible.

This film is little more than a leftist pipedream. Had the US and USSR give up nuclear weapons, the result would've been to eliminate the only real obstacle that kept the two from engaging in a war. Bad as Korea, Vietnam and other wars of the era were, they were "proxy wars" fought to keep the superpowers from a direct engagement.

This film makes me think about how realistic it was when some group of high school kids would go on a hunger strike against nuclear proliferation. As if someone would say "Mr. President, some kids at Drastic High are not eating!" and Ronald Reagan would reply "My God! I'd better revise my Defense policy!" Right.

Like this film? Wouldn't it be better if the Soviet Union would've collapsed because they could not support their massive arms build... wait, that happened!

Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman (1993–1998)

A rewite of herstory

[31 July 2005]

If you think that "Dr. Quinn" is even vaguely related to US history, please go back to school.

First, there were very few women who had any sort of education at the collegiate level, fewer still who made it into medicine. Fewer still that would've left life in settled America for the frontier, etc.

The attitudes of characters in this series are either imposed late 20th century versions or extremely characterized 19th century ones.

In short, this is not a "Western," it is FANTASY.

The show does not depict attitudes towards "Indians" minorities, women, etc. as even close to correct. The appearance of men with long hair (a very rare thing in the 19th C) is odd, as was any use of "buckskin" by that era (the Mountain Man was gone by 1826, you fools).

Whatever universe it is set in, it isn't this one.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005)

They shouldn't have picked up this Hitchhiker

[1/10 · 5 May 2005]

I LOVED the original HHGTTG on BBC radio. The books added to the story. The TV series was good, but not as good as the radio version or book.

But this film stinks. Arthur is not as true to the somewhat bewildered but enduring character of the original, in fact, he could be absent from the film altogether.

I have only walked out of 1 film before in my life. I didn't walk out on this one, but I wanted to walk out.

Worse, they have established the basis for a sequel. Hopefully if they do that, there will be a better writer and a better cast. This group had no chemistry at all.

The effects were not bad, but the Vogons looked like they were hideous Muppet type effects.

Don't waste your money.

The Execution of Private Slovik (1974 TV Movie)

Not History, but has a History Lesson

[5/10 · 31 January 2005]

First of all, I am amazed at the number of people who think this is a factual account. NO movie or TV show that is a "docudrama" or even a documentary is completely factual. (Even Ken Burns made over 1000 documented errors in his Civil War series.) Everyone who puts on a uniform of the military knows the penalty for desertion during wartime. True, few pay that full penalty, but the idiots I have read who ask "why" obviously have no concept of what real war is.

Is there someone out there who really believes that World War II was not necessary? Should the US have let Hitler conquer Europe and his allies take Asia? Has the US become so afraid of fighting that we no longer value our freedoms? Slovik should not have died, but the facts in this docudrama are far from complete. It was, and remains, a "Vietnam-esque" view of the military.

During the Civil War, cavalry was often put in the rear of the infantry. If men tried to run from the fight, the soldiers had orders to shoot them.

The message was clear: Fight the enemy, you may die -- run and you WILL die.

In time of war, the Army must be harsh. War is brutal, but that is why it should be the avenue of last resort. Once the die is cast, it must be fought with all the violence and fury needed. Only if we are willing to fight will we maintain our freedom.

Saved! (2004)

Good Movie, Good Points

[9/10 · 21 December 2004]

This movie contains so many good points it would be impossible to list them all.

It is less a satire on Christianity (the Evangelical type) than on hypocrisy. From the time Mary (who has just avoided an "intervention" of her former friends) picks up a bible one of them has thrown at her, saying "This is not a weapon, you idiot!" to the fact that the minister is having an extramarital affair while telling students that sex is "all about perpetuating the species and good Christians don't get jiggy with it outside of marriage." My favorite line is when Roland (Macaulay Culkin) tells Cassandra that he fell out of a tree when he was 9 and his sister found him, but now he is paralyzed. His sister refers to this as her own miracle.

"Wouldn't the real miracle have been you not falling out in the first place?" Good point and well made. How many of us hear about "miracle rescues" of 23 of the 30 people trapped in a burning building. What about the other 7? Wouldn't a real miracle have saved all 30? Or prevented the fire in the first place? There are far too many people who want to blindly accept religion and just curse those who ask questions. The brave Christians I know are those asking the same questions.

Fahrenheit 9/11 (2004)

What a pack of Lies

[28 September 2004]

This film has about as much relationship to the truth as "Gone with the Wind" does with history. Moore edits, omits, changes context, etc. to get what he wants, regardless of fact.

Why Moore hates Bush is irrelevant. This "non-documentary" is a work of fiction, not fact.

What's worse is that people who want to, will believe it. They don't care about facts either. Moore's fans are mindless idiots who would drink the poison koolaid.

So why did this film do well? Because Moore is a master manipulator. He manipulates facts and the media with ease. He is a self-righteous person who is, in every way, as idiotic as Jerry Falwell.

Bowling for Columbine (2002)

NOT a documentary

[14 June 2004]

This film won an Oscar for "Best Documentary," despite the fact that it DOESN'T MEET THE STANDARDS set by the Academy itself.

Moore uses staged scenes and edits speeches (sometimes inserting sections from a different speech to change the context, sometimes "rearranging" the speech) so to make his point. But that is a OPINION piece, not a message of fact.

Even the title is misleading. It is based on the notion that the students who perpetrated the Columbine killings took a bowling class as the last thing they did before the shootings. However, they SKIPPED THE CLASS that day.

Moore changed stock footage (such as the "Willie Horton" ad as given in the film to accomplish his ends. This makes him worse than those he accuses, because he says to others to "stop lying" so he can lie more.

Galactica 1980 (1980)

BAD, in every respect

[1 June 2004]

This attempt at a "conclusion" of Battlestar Gallactica was BAD. BAD acting, BAD effects, BAD directing, BAD scripts, BAD casting. It was BAD in every conceivable dimension of BADness.

Okay, maybe it wasn't THAT bad, but Lord, it wasn't GOOD!

The overt "preaching" about environmentalism was tedious. The fact that the actors couldn't figure out what a telephone booth was (but could ride very cool "motorcycles" and obey the traffic laws) was nonsense.

ABC might've had a way to do this well, but instead they gave us this POS.

Now, it was bad enough that they had this weird use of "centons" and "felgercarb" (and the like) but they couldn't even be consistent with THAT. Sometimes a "centon" was a second, other times it was a minute, other times...

You get the picture. Someone in the continuity department was asleep. But that's okay, most of the audience was absent.

Defending Your Life (1991)

EXCELLENT!

[10/10 · 27 May 2004]

This film gets unfairly knocked for being too much of a "feel good" movie, but what happens when you NEED a film to help you feel good?

I have this on DVD and watch it when I am feeling depressed, for it reminds me, "Courage, mon Pierre!" Tough out the hard parts, show a little fortitude, and you too, will "move forward."

So much in this film rings true. If we hide inside a shell of fear, we miss so much in life. When we come out, when we show courage, if we jump off that tram and chase down our true love, we gain all we desire!

The Lizzie McGuire Movie (2003)

Very True to Life -- NOT!

[25 May 2004]

If you honestly believe that the pretty girls are never accepted and become the outcasts, with no friends, etc., put your analyst on danger money, NOW.

The precepts of this film are horribly unreal. The plot is about as believable as the excuses given to teachers for not turning in homework. In fact, perhaps the film was written as a make-up assignment for not turning in homework.

If you are a teenage girl, with a functional IQ about room temperature or below, you will love this film. If not, stay away.

Regardless, this will be the same plot (with slightly altered locations) for about a dozen more movies over the next 20 years, each with the latest teen-girl movie star.

Notice teen boys don't do these. They do equally stupid things written by the same writers, but with the other plot line...