jersas1 Reviews

Slackers (2002)

A comedy..... this ain't

[1/10 · 3 February 2002]

I could barely come up with a chuckle during this mess of a movie. Obviously some people have low standards for humor, and they can watch a poorly written flick like this and find it amusing. It seems we are in one of those periods where the theaters are glutted with mediocre movies that should have gone straight to video. I am glad I did not pay for this trash, because I would have been even more disappointed. If you want to see manipulating cheaters glorified, and poor psychotic nerds who are pitifully desperate, go ahead and check this one out, but don't say I didn't warn you.

The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951)

A timeless classic sci-fi

[9/10 · 7 January 2002]

The many insights covered in this film are timeless. Most of the conflicts, threats, dangers and human frailties are as evident today as they were when this classic was made in the 50's. And Gort was the greatest. I still have never seen a character in any other movie that combined the traits of complete fear AND unflinching respect that he did. Indestructable, and with the unbelievable power to destroy entire worlds.... Wow! Even though Gort symbolizes immeasurable cruelty and a total lack of compassion or empathy, he also is perhaps the most realistic depiction of a sad truth.... the ONLY sure way to bring peace and brotherhood to all of the nations on this little blue planet is the absolute threat of total destruction. Heck, he could even get Israel and their enemies to live together, because the only other option would be KA-BLAM !!

Zombie Lake (1981)

Even the Nazis would be embarrased by this abysmal stinker

[1/10 · 25 December 2001]

This is one of those movies where you wonder 'Why was this loser ever made'??? This is the honest truth, the only redeeming factor is the 5 minutes on nudity. For some guys, this might be enough motivation to watch an 83 minute foreign film, but I hope you have better ways to spend your time. The plot, the pace, the acting, the writing and the makeup are worthy of a 7 year-old's talent. Somehow they managed to use a quaint european town and a nice castle-like house. They also found some authentic WW-2 german war props, but other than that, this movie is just plain TERRIBLE.

Retroactive (1997)

Great time manipulation experience

[8/10 · 13 August 2001]

My 14 year-old son and I really enjoyed this movie. Belushi did a great job as Frank, the good-old southern boy that has a bad-d-d-d-d temper. We classify this one as a sleeper, because most people have never heard of it. Good time travel movies are hard to find, but as most of us learned back in the original Star Trek days, time travel is VERY dangerous. In this movie, we learn that right away, but it goes even farther to show how even when we redo the trip back in time, even good intentions by supposedly intelligent people, can make things even worse the 2nd (or 3rd) time around. I guess the best part of movies like this is that they make you think 'What if I could go back and do something over again?' Word to the wise, if you do.... be very careful.

The House by the Cemetery (1981)

I was not impressed

[2/10 · 10 August 2001]

I consider this a mediocre horror flick. The picture quality was not good due to the directors penchant for poorly lit scenes. The director also used other amateurish tricks like facial closeups and excessive blood all over the place. I can't tell you how many times my 14 year old asked questions like 'What is that?' or 'Why did they do that?' This was due to many holes in the plot. Two thumbs down from this house.

Las Vegas Bloodbath (1989 Video)

Just plain disgusting

[1/10 · 30 June 2001]

Don't even THINK about renting this toxic waste of a movie. Acting was at a 5 year-old level. Sound quality was the worst I have seen.....ever. If you are desperate and want a few laughs, maybe you could try this turkey and I bet you hit the STOP button before it is half over. Aside from some fairly good gory special effects, there is nothing positive to say about this piece of garbage. What happens to a pregnant woman, AND her baby is so disgusting, you will say 'I can't believe they did THAT !' If you want laughs, try Trolls II. At least Trolls will not bring back memories of Richard Starkey.