Chibi Riza Reviews

301, 302 (1995)

SCARY!

[8 November 2000]

This was a good movie (ha!I'm into Asian cinema!),but I found it rather creepy!Probably it was because of that 301 lady.

*MINOR SPOILERS* Man,she starts out to be friendly,but man,if you say "No" to that lady,she'll snap.If I lived nead 301 and she tried to invite me over,I'd run away in Horror.Especially when she runs out of food in that one scene and cooks her dog Wang-Wang(!)Yes I know her husband was flirting with other girls,but still,that was a mean trick.He should have gotten a divorce early after 301 and him were arguing over petty things.And how she treated 302!301 seemed like she was force feeding the poor girl.If 302 didn't want to eat,she didn't want to eat(yeah,I'd be too grossed out to eat too if I had to deal with a murderous, Michael Jackson-like butcher).Like I said,turn tail and run if someone like that lives near you.

Other than that,it's enjoyable.Watch it once.

Spartakus and the Sun Beneath the Sea (1985–1987)

A very good show that will always be remembered.

[2 November 2000]

"Les Mondes Engloutis" (aka.Arkadia/Spartakus and the Sun Beneath the Sea) has to be one of the most memorable European animations that was played on TV.

There was once a great cataclysm that made a prosperous civilization live underground for the many years that pasted.They have relied on the sun "Saggy" to nourish their world Arkadia,but now,Saggy is fading.Some children entered a forbidden grotto and created a messenger and named her Arcana.Alongside her journey,Arcana meets up with magical twin aardvarks named Bic and Bac,a mysterious wanderer named Spartakus,a spacecraft with a mind of it's own and two kids,Bob and Rebecca.Alongside their journeys,they travel back in time,travel to other worlds and even to unknown places and run into such advisories such as barbarian herders,persistant soldiers/warriors, strange creatures and animals and pirates whom resemble 80's punk rock singers.

Wonderful storyline,intresting and deep character development,good animation and a memorable soundtrack (for once,these toons can sing!).There is nothing corny about this show."Les Mondes Engloutis", alongside "Mysterious Cities of Gold","Ulysse 31" and "Flower Princess Angel" are some of the most memorable shows that children of the 80's got.They got some of the animated "Deutchland Frankenfurters",while kids now-a-days are getting lame "Balogna"!

The NeverEnding Story II: The Next Chapter (1990)

Wow,this is just confusing!

[6 October 2000]

Man,in the 1st "Neverending Story",I could get the story and what the characters are doing.But in this one,it is so cluttered! Oh well,lets give the run-down here:

The Good:

Giorgio Moroder composed the soundtrack. They used the original Fantasian/Fantastican characters. Nice scenery. And well,Pia Zadora or Oscar Martin (from "Pod People") doesn't star in it. It uses "at least" some elements from the novel(eg.Emptiness,Xayide,etc..

The Bad

VERY confusing plot (I know some wee-ones that don't get this film)

alot of the new actors and actresses can't act,but even the talented ones,such as the Italian model/actress Clarisse Burt (an actress whom usually stars in alot of obscure Italian films and animations)got wasted as a ego-centrical,spazzy acting witch Xayide.I don't think Xayide was suppost to be like that in the book,but I dont think it was Burt's fault (no wonder she was crying at the end of the movie!) Wolfang Peterson did not direct the film,instead,we got the director whom did the other in-accurate "from-novel-to-movie" flick "Babe,the Galliant Pig". Why does Moonchild or The Child-Like Empress look like she is 16 years old and not 10?It's not like Bastian has a crush on her or anything,so they should have kept her child-like. AND WHERE DID ROCKBITTER JR. COME FROM? Makes you kinda wonder about the Rockbitter himself and what he was doing,huh?

Okay,well,it's just confusing. At least it isn't the wreched TNES3!

Xenogears (1998 Video Game)

Too overrated!

[2 September 2000]

Wow,I found yet another over-rated RPG on the PSX. "Xenogears" has to be an insult to Square Soft here.

No,I do not hate it for Religious overtones.In fact,I constantly play "Rudora no Hihou"/"Rudra's Treasure" and that has TONS of Religious and Mystical over-tones (mostly of Asian folklore and Sufism).But the reasons are is that the storyline is basically Neon Genesis Evangelion meets Macross on fire control(plus a few deleted sex scenes), the characters all have big noses and the quotes are basically "Noooooooo","What happened?","What the hell is this thing?" or "WATCH OUT!". Plus,you can barely play the game at all(mostly Anime FMVS)and when it becomes playable,it's all f**ked up and hard to control!

Here are some RPGs I recommend:

"Seiken Densetsu 3":Wonderfull dark,yet cute storyline,neato class change options,plot twists galore,plus,whatever characters you choose,the storyline will change.

"Rudora no Hihou"/"Rudra's Treasure":Very ORIGINAL RPG by Keita Amemiya of "Zeiram" and "Moon of Tao" fame.Enuff said!

"Final Fantasy VII":A well done storyline PLUS some actually cool villains!This was also one of the few good RPGs by Square now-a-days!

Illusion of Time and Terranigma:One of the better non-Square games I've played.Each have unique features,PLAYABILITY and plus,there were FEMALE animators involved in these games (which I don't really know of in alot of RPGs).

A Chinese Ghost Story: The Tsui Hark Animation (1997)

Very funny and ORIGINAL anime!

[21 August 2000]

I finally got "A Chinese Ghost Story" on DVD and is well-worth it too!

It has everything I can hope for in animation:a strange,un-predictable storyline,bizarre characters,off-the-wall (and sometimes sick) humour,rock-opera-like music score(it is NOT Disney-like!)and interesting and successful combination of CG and Traditional Animation(which is a nice first in Anime).

If you want an Anime worth your time,please,get this classic now.But personally,I'd prefer the DVD version,since you can get Cantonese and Mandarin dialogue on it(personally,I prefer Cantonese) and you don't have to get stuck with the horrid English version(sorry,but the English "vocal-talents" need to take some singing lessons!).

The NeverEnding Story (1984)

One of the few films that scared me when I was little,but it's all good!

[21 August 2000]

Once upon a time,when I was little,I huddled up in a closet one day and was looking through sci-fi/fantasy movie magazines.I saw a magazine that was promoting "Die Unendliche Geschichte"/"The Neverending Story".Boy did the pictures terrify me!Gmorok(sp?) scared me,Falchor scared me,the Rock Biter Scared me,The two boys and their snail and bat scared me and the Gnomes scared me.The only characters in the film that didn't frighten me were the child stars(Bastian,Atreyu/Atreju and the Empress).Eventually,my mom wanted to see this movie,but I sure did not want to,so I hid in the garden.Eventually,she found my hiding place and so,I ended up sitting down watching the movie with her.For the most part,I covered my eyes.But now,17-18 years later,I've enjoyed this movie!

I enjoy this movie as much as the book and I think it's unfair to compare the two!Just look at them in a diffrent view.And not to mention it was one of the few fantasy films to actually scare me when I was little (strangely coming from someone that was NEVER afraid of "The Dark Crystal" or "Jim Henson's Storyteller).

Just to let everyone know,the German version is longer than the English language version.Intresting,huh?

Teletubbies (1997–2001)

Ohhhhhh,my head hurts!*starts sobbing*

[9 August 2000]

The "Teletubbies" has to be one of the most Nightmare-inducing TV shows ever (save for Barney and the New Nick JR).

Four creepy-looking "creatures" with television sets in their torsos,doing some strange,nonsensical things that don't make sense and probably give you head aches and trippy nightmares.

I know this is a children's show,but I even know some little kids who are afraid to watch these monsters (yes,I'm serious).

Now,the Skeksis from the "Dark Crystal" on the other hand,are even more lovable than the "Teletubbie" things,and they are pretty frighting enough!

The Ren & Stimpy Show (1991–1996)

One of my childhood favs!

[28 July 2000]

"Ren and Stimpy" is perhaps among one of my favorite cartoons of yore of all time!

It's about Ren,a hyperactive chiuahua and his ditsy,air-head companion,Stimpy,a fat,red cat with a big blue nose going on excapades,but it's not your average "Looney Tunes" fair.These adventures usually have to involve bodily functions,body fluid(nothing to the extremes though),crazed creatures and passing gas (both burping and farting).

Ironically,for a while,this was banned from Nickelodeon and MTV,because of the so-called moral-organizations.Sorry,but not all kid shows can be the "Teletubbies"!

Luckily,it was resurected and now I can watch it when it comes on!

Labyrinth (1986)

Good movie,would have been better if the heroine wasn't such a snob.

[28 July 2000]

Yep,another Jim Henson goody here."Labyrinth" is one wild fantasy film with Goblins,Faeries,Sprites whom can mutilate themselves and put themselves back together,Gnomes,talking anthrpomorphic Animals and British rock-star,David Bowie (even though he needs to gain a little weight,but that's my opinion!).

But one thing that knocked this down to 3 kisses is Sara.I thought she was too snotty and un-likeable.Come on,it's good to have girl heroes(I'm one),but ones like this,no! I wished that Jareth would have kept Toby and have his step-sister(Sara) sent to bording school.And another thing,whenever Sara wants someone to help her,they ditch her,just in a snap of a finger!

But at least the goblins,monsters,David Bowie and Brian Frouds imagery was a big saving grace to the film.

3 kisses out of four.

Return to Oz (1985)

More accurate adaption,and this is NOT a sequel!

[28 July 2000]

Another one of my favorite retro-fantasy films of all time,"Return to Oz" is probably one of the better (or best) adaptions of the 'OZ' novels.It depicts Oz what it should be:Dream-like,Dark,Eery,Mesmerizing and anything scary can happen.There ain't no tap-dancing,singing,cutesy junk in here!

I'm so sick of people bashing this film all the time,because it's "Too Dark and Dreary".Well,like one person said here,in some countries (primarily Asian Countries),children shows are dark and have upsetting moments,but sooner or later,children will eventually face their fears and learn to love such things,because fear is a part of life.

Wow,I really need to take a breather!

Fraggle Rock (1983–1987)

The best children's show ever!

[28 July 2000]

"Fraggle Rock" is not only the best Jim Henson show,not only the best Canadian show,but the best Children's show ever!

There are three character perspectives enterwined into one.One perspective is about Doc,an inventor(Chef in the German version)and his dog,Sprocket/Cr&oumlket come up and try to event things and is unaware of the land of Fraggles,2nd one is the basic one,Fraggles and their fun-daily lives.Alongside them are the hard-working,bug-like Doozers,whom love to build and build and outside are silly,bumbling Gorgs,gigantic troll-like creatures whom think they rule the universe.3rd perspective is Gobo's Uncle Traveling Matt on Earth (aka.Outer Space).There is nothing corny or sappy about this show.There are wild adventures and ORIGINAL songs that are actually enjoyable,unlike the Disney songs,which are more obnoxious than enjoyable.

One of my favorite Fraggles has always been Red Fraggle.She's energetic,brave,happy,caring and strong,rather a nice change for female characters in Childrens shows.Fraggle rock is a show that all ages can actually enjoy.

Oh,and one more thing,beware of the Animated version of this show!It is almost nothing like the original!

The Dark Crystal (1982)

Cool film,the Skeksis are the best baddies that anyone can hope for!

[8/10 · 9 July 2000]

All right, a not-so-Disneyesque film for all."The Dark Crystal has everything, plot, characters, sound, fun-factor and actually decent and REALISTIC FX!

My favorite thing about the movies (or at least character wise) were the Skeksis,the wicked characters of the movie that look like a strage hybrid between dragons and gryphons.They each have their own personalities,own looks,weird shell robe-armour outfits,and have many diffrent facial expressions that some of the other characters don't have.Even though Chamberlain got annoying at times,at least he is better than some other baddies I have ever ran into.

Other characters include Jen and Kira (Kira kinda reminds me of myself alot at times, or whatever), the weird hag-geinius Augura (who isn't that bad), the cute Podlings, the annoying Fizzgig and whom I think are the worst characters are the boring and depressing Ur-Ru.The Ur-Ru barely do anything, all sound alike, so slow and are so emotionless, unlike their dark-spirited counterparts that I think are interesting!

Oh,my rating.Cool Movie.My #1 Jim Henson film.The equally brilliant "Storyteller" is now in 2nd.

Legend of Mana (2000 Video Game)

A breath of life in the "Holy Sabre Legend" series.

[1 July 2000]

Ahhhhhhh,I finally find relief from all of Squaresoft's weak games and go for a great one!

"SD4:Legend of Mana" is still a great entry in the SD series.If you were looking for another Zelda-styled RPG,be verra disappointed.The fighting style is rather diffrent this time around.The battles are rather Arcade-Game like and is rather a very intresting change of pace.Unfortunately,you cannot run away from battles(pooh,but oh well,you'll be stronger!).

There is not one,but many,many,many storylines in the game!However,here is the main story:

'It was many years after the Mana tree recovered (unlike FF,the SD series follow each other believe it or not),everything was utopian,or at least seemed like it for a while.But then,strife began and people lost hope in Mana and people were hopelessly fighting.900 years later,the world lays in wreck.Two sprites,one boy,one girl (of course ^-^) must find the artifacts and restore the world to it's former beauty that was many years ago.'

The extra options help too,such as raising pet monsters,making golems,magic instuments,armour and weapons.Most of the characters were wonderfully scupted and done well.Most are even cute too as well (but weren't the other SD characters cute as well? ^-^).

But the two things I did not like about it is that they took cute chibi Flammie out of the game and replaced her with ugly and deformed looking hippo creatures.I also hated Niccolo,the fat bunny salesman.I just feel like slamming the door hard and scream.

But I won't let the flaws in the way of anything.

Soma (1996– )

One of the best Korean Animes I have ever seen!

[1 July 2000]

Hey,"Soma:Warrior's Saga) is one of the most well done Korean animes I've seen.The storyline is top knoch,and 96% of the storyline is ORIGINAL (unlike most modern-day Anime ~-~).Actually a mixure of J.R.R Tolkien and dark-natured Hong Kong fantasy films.

The characters are equally intresting as the plot,from a shadowless man,an albino mage with talking, enlighted daggers (don't worry,daggers don't sing!)to the dark,semi handsome/semi-ugly villains, whom are extremely evil,unlike those moronic "Sailor Moon" or "Pok&ecircmon" villains,whom are more stupid than vile.

The soundtrack is well-done in alot of scenes,even though sometimes it can sound a bit sweetsy on the flashback sequences.

Voice acting is nice.The voices matches the characters perfectly!Favorite voice actress is Mayu Loh (Ryuhai,Ninja Woman).

Animation is not bad,even though rather choppy in some scenes.Drawings are well-done.Yong Su Hwang and Tetsuya Nomura are the perfect match!Oh,and speaking of,this and FF7 were Nomura's better works (unlike alot of stuff he does now!).

Overall,watch this or get the Manwha (Korean Manga).

The Simpsons (1989– )

I can't beleive such a brilliant show is going downhill (otherwise,I'm saying that the older episodes are better!)

[1 July 2000]

I have to agree with everyone (except that sexist,chauvinistic Christain fanatic that bashed everything he/she saw) that the "Simpsons" is a classic show.My favorite episodes were the seasons from 1989-1997.

But the thing I cannot beleive is that ol' pal Groening is getting rather desperate now.From the poor choice in guest stars (Brittany Spears,UGH!) to episodes that rips off various MTV shows just to get attention.That's pretty sad,since the show was nothing but quality until the 1999-2000 season (and some from 1998-1999).What's next,Marilyn Manson the guest star? More rumpuses in thoung undies? Groening,be yourself again,please!

At least "Futurama" will be there in case we have to say a touching farewell to Homer,Marge,Bart,Lisa and Maggie.Oh,say,I'd better watch some good ol' episodes on tape! (^_^)

Mechanical Violator Hakaider (1995)

In Jesus Town,good guys wear black!

[18 June 2000]

This movie here has to probably Keita Amemiya's most beautifully done film he has ever made (pays some respect to Ishinomori-san).

Hakaider has to do with the main cybernetic hero (with the same name as the movie) getting re-discovered by a gang from Jesus town,which was formerly the Holy Land in the Middle East.However,Hakaider lost all of his memory and starts blowing people apart.This all stops when he meets the pretty Kaoru (which looks like a Japanese double of Cyndi Lauper).Kaoru tells him about the evil that the handsome,if mavolent seraph Girjev and his servant,Mikhail has brought onto the town.In many beautiful(if albeit eery) dream like sequences that Kaoru has, Hakaider must not fight for himself,but for the people of Jesus Town as well.

The most original parts of this film is that,like I said,the good guy wears black and the bad guys wear white.It's really true,see it for yourself!

NOTE:This was also one of Amemiya's more controversial films,due to some imagery of shattered Jesus and Virgin Mary statues,plus the bad guys being rather "Angelic" looking.Watch only if you are not easily offended by the dark depiction of the Jewish/Christian faith.

Chrono Trigger (1995 Video Game)

What could have been a great game falls flat with boring characters.

[16 June 2000]

Alongside "Final Fantasy IV",I though Chrono Trigger had the worst character development in any RPGs.Most of the characters are like cardboard,basically meaning that they usually have no personality.But the storyline on the other hand was not that bad (but not that original either) and the concept of "Time-Travel" was rather intresting,but the flat characters and *groans* Akira Toriyama's artwork made what could have been a great game, just plain average.

Final Fantasy IV (1991 Video Game)

One of the lamer old FF's.

[16 June 2000]

Man,after playing through some of my old games,I've noticed now that FF4 is not especially my favorite.

Here is why:

Un-original storyline.Man,this is exactly like "Star Trek" disguised as a Fantasy.

Bland characters.I had to agree with some one Anonymus here.Only 3 or 4 characters actually showed some personality w/o making a fool of themselves.Other than that,the characters were free of personality and mainly fell off the face of the Earth.Not to mention that the characters were less-than-memorable.

Yoshitaka Amano seemed like he was lacking something here.His drawings aren't as vibrant as they were in FF5 or FF6.They looked really washed out and simplistic.

Better off without this one,but heck,I'd only play this over the "dreaded" FF8!

Futurama (1999– )

Better than the Simpsons?

[28 May 2000]

Very,very original and funny comedy in the distant future,"Futurama" is a grand achievement by Groening himself!

In 1999,Fry,an extremely ditsy delivery man delivers a pizza to an abandoned cryo lab (due to a prank letter).As he relaxes,he falls into a cryogenic capsule and is transported to the year 2999 for New Years day.And to this point,the adventures begins,wherther it is a Titanic spoof,a run-in with undersea hillbillies or even dealing with Lila.

I hope this is going to be a successful show and not a fad!And so far,things are bright.I just think Groening should focus on this show now!

Secret of Mana (1993 Video Game)

Wonderful game,despite the downer ending.

[26 May 2000]

Now how could I have forgotten the wonderful prequel to "Seiken Densetsu 3"? "Seiken Densetsu 2" (which is the 1st Secret of Mana in NA and Europe) lives up to it's quality for seven years!

Randi (the boy) was one day playing with his so-called "friends" Eliott and Terry until he fell off the bridge and discovers this Mana Sword and a phantom of someone of his past.When he decides to keep the sword,he fights a giant mantis at his home village and is finally an outcast in his homeland.As Randi is on his journey to purify the world,two other heroines meet up.Purim (the girl) runs away from home after her boyfriend gets captured by the brain-washed witch Eilene and later,by an evil spirit named Thanantos,whom manipulates just aobut anyone he wants to.Poppi (the sprite,whom is a boy in the North American version),whom was adopted by dwarves,joins Randi and Purim after they fight a plant monster.I can't explain all the storyline,but the story is incredibly immense!

But the thing I hated about this game is that the ending is rather a bleak one.One of the key protagonists and some of their friends pass away (I'm not telling who,then it'll be a spoiler!).Despite the ending,it's a must play!

Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind (1984)

Very moving film.

[7 May 2000]

An anime so powerful, that it was banned and boycotted in so many countries! "Nausicaa" is one of the moving films Hayao Miyazki has ever done.Miyazki is often known for doing many cute movies.Even though this movie can be cute at times, it can also be dark too. Not to mention that the characters are very interesting,especially the neat princesses,these are not the stereotypical weak princesses for once! Wonderful film,alot better than many of those "newer" Anime films!

The Heroic Trio (1993)

"If there's no Emperor,there's no China!"

[29 April 2000]

"Heroic Trio" was one of the first HK films that fell under the Sci-Fi/Fantasy/Horror genre.And it is a very,very cool movie.Gotta love the stunts,the macabre storyline about an Evil Demon Emperor that captures children to become his Demon army,and the characters are soooooo cool!My favorite of the three in order is Tung(aka.Wonderwoman),Chan(aka.Inviso-Girl) and Cat(Thief Hunter).

P.S-I dunno why they say Anita Mui (she plays Tung) is trying to be Madonna.Anita is very cool and her stunts are top-knotch!

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)

This is like soaking in scolding hot water!

[29 April 2000]

OH my god!This is a bad Christmas movie.It is just plain bad,that "Worst movie Ever" just doesn't explain it.All the characters annoy me so dearly,especially Santa Claus and Dropo.Oh,and I abhore those jokes Santa tells,as Crow said "This is a funny as a train-wreck!"

Unless desperate,do NOT watch this movie on AMC!

MST3K is the way!

Monster a Go-Go (1965)

Monster a Go Go Eh? Riza is gonna a go go!!!!!

[21 April 2000]

Another nightmarish celloid slithers upon MST3K!

The "Story" is supposed to be about people trying to find a missing astronaut, only to find a giant guy with a poorly done monster makeup job.I had to watch this MSTied verion 16 or so times to get at least the little of the cluttered plot of this movie.Sure,"Manos" was bad (hey,this was made one year before Manos),but at least there was a plotline to "Manos".At least Torgo,the Master and the master's sexy nymphs didn't look like they went through a cement mixer.

As Crow said:"This movie has 'stinkburger' written all over it!"

Moon Over Tao: Makaraga (1997)

Very wonderful Japanese fantasy film!

[16 April 2000]

I finally got to see this,after waiting for 2 years or so to come out,and let me tell you,it was definetly worth the wait.

"Tao no Tsuki" (Moon of Tao) is one of the best films that distort Medival Japan.Forget "Ninja Scroll",Tao is the one,PLUS,there is a really big hard-to-destroy monster in there by the name of Makarage (is that how you spell it's name).

But be warned,the ending is rather distressing.*No spoilers,SORRY!*