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Nick-269
Reviews
Sold Out (2021)
I'd shoot this
It's an excellent demo pitch for a real movie. Not sure how a demo got nominated for an award, but it was fun to see the effort put into pitching it. Hope somebody does make it someday.
Out of Time (2021)
Really bad. And, no, not in a good way
Oh come on, this is absolute caca-cinema. Other reviews say "it was entertaining," "the story could have been good," "some of the writing and acting was good" and things like "an ultra low budget done well." But this was awful by any standards. The very best I can rate it is: one star for being an interesting premise, one for not pretending to be a real movie, and one for the deepest sympathy for everyone who had to make *and* now watch this collection of pitcher-frames that tries to be really bad movie that's kinda good because it's admitting that it's bad, but it's still bad. It should have been called Plan 9.1 from Outer Space... And that's with big apologies to Plan 9.
Honest Thief (2020)
Swiss Cheese
A demo expert burgles banks for several years without ever getting caught or leaving a trace of how he got in or out. Then he meets a woman who changes his life, so he turns himself in by giving two FBI agents $3M of his $9M stolen cash to prove to them that he's the thief. But the agents think they can keep it, which starts a sequence of impossible scenarios. There's a thousand ways that the most meticulous man in the world could have proven he was legit (like, i dunno, say, mailing a couple bills and/or the wrappers from the cash instead of millions) but somehow he goes from being the smartest burglar ever to the dumbest confessor ever.
Magnolia (1999)
Spoiler Alert: Best Movie of All Time
Even better than the one about Rosebud the sled. My apologies to Rosebud, but Anyone who doesn't understand brilliant brilliance and poignant poignancy just aren't as insightful and informed as those who know real art. I mean, this movie has raining frogs (Oh Yeah!!) *and* scenes where the actors essentially tell their viewers, "I wouldn't believe this if I saw it in a movie." (Oh Wow - I SO get it!!) You probably wouldn't believe it if you read it in my review, but there's no doubt that the best film of 1999 is the best film of forever. Well, (Spoiler Alter chekt, so don't B-List me) except for maybe the Secret of the Cave, oh and the English Patient. This is the cinematic equivalent of Mona Lisa's smile. And yes, that would be a good name for a movie, but it would never, ever be as good as Magnolia.
Marie and Bruce (2004)
Good thing I'm Catholic
When I get to Purgatory, they'll come across the fact that I saw this film, and I'll go right the front of the line to the pearly gates. More likely, construction of an escalator has just started, anticipating all the people who died before they finished watching the show.
Spoiler alert: I loved the efforts everyone made to put this together. The Golden Retriever totally stole the show. Ms. Moore, Mr. Broderick, Jimmi Simpson (was that him?!) and regarding everything else, Wally Shawn is nothing but superb. But if Woody Allen re-wrote "The English Patient", casted it with the Monty Python crew and had it directed by David Lynch, it would be pretty much the same as this movie. Inconceivable.