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Jacob-24
Reviews
Ancient Asian Sex Secrets (1998)
lots of nudity, beware!
this movie had an insane amount of nudity! don't get me wrong, but there were barely any scenes where the actors and actresses had clothes on! sometimes the girls would leave their high-heels on though. anyway, i found this film to be quite enjoyable. i learned many secrets of asian sex. highly educational, i give this movie a 9.
Troll (1986)
confusion is troll
when i saw this movie, i immediately declared it "the best movie i have ever seen", but i think i actually meant something else. this movie was all whack and messed up. i couldn't tell when scenes were supposed to be inside or outside, or if they were supposed to be indoor rooms that were taken over by shrubbery and fairies. and this mushroom with a human face kept squeeking at something. the special effects are special in the sense that the mall has "special police".
Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)
characters make better toys than anything
I was entertained, but I found major flaws in this movie. I'm not going to complain about how cheesy this movie was, or point out technical flaws like "Oh look, Han and Luke shot the stormtroopers to steal their armor, yet it remains undamaged when they put it on!" And I accept the style of the star wars movies; jedis will always talk with backwards syntax and there will always be cute little characters and kid-humor to appeal to the toy buyers who aren't obsessive collectors. But I think this movie takes those aspects a little too far. Conversation has never been a strong point in the movies, but there was little character development, something which this movie needed. there wasn't much in the other movies, but I felt no connection to the characters in this movie like I did with Luke or that nut Han Solo. I have heard a lot of people say the acting was terrible, which was what I was thinking at first, but then I realized that the actors didn't really have much of a character to get into, other than an accent and/or a costume. the other aspect of the movie was the marketability. its always been prevalent in these movies, but this movie is taking it too far. i mean, it's already expected to sell 2 point some billion in tickets. i'm not just saying this because greed is un-jedi-like, but i think it affected the quality of the movie. i started seeing the fight scene between the droids and the whatevers as just a bunch of toys. and that jar jar binks was only as annoying as he was because kids eat up that urkel/ninja turtle crap. good special effects, good fight scenes, good action. somehow more high-tech than the ones that are chronologically later?
Pure Luck (1991)
i busted my gut laughing at this hilarity
I loved this movie. It is always real funny. There is a good scene that is real funny and martin short gets stung by a bee or maybe a wasp. what happens next, i won't spoil it for you (Let's just say he gets a little fat). I fell off my chair when i laughed real hard at that.
Teen Wolf Too (1987)
aptly titled
well, it's exactly the same as the first movie, except that the teenwolf is not played by michael j. fox, it is played by jason bateman, and instead of being a basketball player, it is a boxer. i was thinking, "sequels are made to continue the story of another movie" but then i realized that this movie is not titled Teen Wolf II, it's titled Teen Wolf TOO. and yeah, jason bateman is a teenwolf too. and a lame one at that. therefore the movie could have been called "the other teenwolf who is lame".