riv-2 Reviews

Beyond Justice (1991)

A step by step guide:- "How to make a diabolically bad film"

[8 March 2002]

Someone lent me the DVD of this astonishingly bad film. I would normally have simply put it back in the pile and forgotten about it but I couldn't sleep well at night if I didn't warn people about this grade Z bomb, that makes "Robot Monster" or "Plan 9 from Outer Space" seem superb in comparison. From pathetic story line, through mesmerizingly bad screenplay to abysmal direction and - ultimately - acting that would be laughable, , this film has it all. How in God's name this abomination ever was allowed past the producer's desk is beyond me. I have poor writing skills and even worse cinematographic skills, yet I could have made a better job of this "film" whilst under the influence of hallucinogenic drugs. I wouldn't know where to start explaining about the bad points because - like a time warp map of the universe, where all points are both the beginning, middle and end, so this film's bad points actually conglomerate into one hideous melee of garbage.

Well, unless I see the next millennium out, I won't be able to come across a film as bad as this. So I can honestly and fairly give this dog of a film the title "Worst film ever made". Ed Wood - eat your heart out.

Final Approach (1991)

Psychological film of very high standard. CAUTION-SPOILER IN THIS REVIEW!!!!

[7/10 · 16 January 2001]

I'm writing this "spoiler" only because there were many negative comments about this film and I can see that many people would simply wait for actions shots that never appear - and be disappointed. This film is about a pilot who has gone to the afterlife, following a plane crash in an experimental plane. This "afterlife" is in the form of a psychiatrists consulting room - The psychiatrist is assisting the "newcomer" to adjust to the life hereafter. Personally, I thought the film works extremely well and the dialog was superb. Yes - if you're after a "Top Gun" or "M.I 2" type film, then I can see why this film would greatly disappoint. People who have drawn parallels between this film and Jacob's Ladder are justified, of course but Final Approach is more polished, in terms of dialog and subtlety. I suspect all references to the SR71 Blackbird could have been removed and the whole film would have been just as (or more) effective. I gave it 7 out of 10 but I'm a very hard marker. Probably if I not had such a hard day at the office, I'd have given it 9 out of 10. Ian Rivlin Queensland, Australia

Reaching for the Moon (1917)

Likeable silent film about a factory worker who wants to be famous

[8/10 · 27 December 2000]

This likeable film stars Douglas Fairbanks. He's a button factory office worker, who daydreams about being in the company of kings. His workmates regard him as a likeable twit. - Thing is that one morning, he wakes up to find that he is the only surviving relative of a small European country's monarchy. - He's about to be crowned King! (But the evil "Black Boris" has other ideas. Definitely worth a look. This film was made in the latter stages of WW1 - and it shows. Douglas Fairbanks was a great actor. Give this film a whirl, if you get the chance. Ian Rivlin

Reaching for the Moon (1917)

A Button factory worker dreams of walking with kings

[8/10 · 23 December 2000]

Alexis is a likeable Walter Mitty type, who constantly dreams of mixing with royalty. He has a love - Elsie, who listens to his dreams attentively. Alexis finds a very big surprise for him one morning - He's the last line of a Royal family and the successor to the throne of "Vulgaria"!!(An Austro/Italian/Hungarian monarchy). For anyone who saw "The Great Race" with Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon, they'll perhaps find the same sort of laughs from this film. - Reaching for the Moon isn't a comedy per-se but there are many humorous moments. I think the moral of the film is "America's democracy is better than anything that the European degenerates have". - Maybe they're right- but this film WAS made in the First World War, when anti Kaiser Wilhelm sentiment would have been at its greatest. I just saw this film tonight (for the first time) on my Standard 8 projector. - Somehow it looked the appropriate medium to view the film on...

The Dish (2000)

Delightful nostalgic and entertaining

[14 October 2000]

I loved this film - it was delivered in a non-patronizing way (to the Aussies) and provided great entertainment. I was around in 1969 and sat up (in England) in the early hours of the morning, watching the landing. We were all enraptured. - I had no idea that the pictures were being picked up by this far away place called Australia. Now I live here....... This film is well worthy of 9.5/10. It brought the memories flooding back and gave me a smile from ear to ear.

WELL DONE!

Guest House Paradiso (1999)

I LOVED "Guest Hotel Paradiso"

[8 August 2000]

I laughed from beginning to end. I want to see it again - real soon! All those pseudo-twits who said bad things about this film are rice-pudding brained nincompoops! Can't wait for the sequel.......

8MM (1999)

My thoughts on 8mm

[18 April 1999]

So, I saw the controversial "8mm", yesterday. Hmmmm.... Reasonable - but there seemed to be just a little too much of an effort to make it appear true-to-life. Sort of "Seven" meets "The Pawnbroker".

I go to the films for either spiritual enlightenment or escapism. There isn't that much in the way of spiritual enlightenment nowadays, ("Good as it gets", "Shakespeare in Love" and "private Ryan" excepted) so escapism is my motivating factor. "8mm" portrays Nicholas Cage as a slightly over-the-top "sensitive new age dick" (SNAD) - almost gratuitously so. The in-your-face hyper-realism, in terms of seedy, dark and ugly conurbations and a plain wife (who seems to be a powerful disincentive for marriage) is unnecessary. For some strange reason, "Seven" seemed to work with this formula but in 8mm, it was a touch incongruous. There were terrible (and tragically puerile) holes in the plot and I was left feeling a little flat at the end of the film - but there were many redeeming factors. Worth a visit but only just. I think Cage was good in "Guarding Tess" and - as a comic book hero - reasonable in "Con Air" but someone like Brad Pitt would have been better for 8mm.

People may comment on the gruesome aspects of the film but, next to some other films, I'd say "8mm" was almost tame. I think the gruesome hype has been grossly over-stated. (Unless, of course, the film had been greatly cut down for the Australian market. (I doubt this, somehow). Two days before, I saw Matrix. Much more enjoyable...............