ffolkes Reviews

No. 1 of the Secret Service (1977)

Look up! Look Down! Look Out - this certainly isn't James Bond!

[5/10 · 22 October 1998]

Director Lindsay Shonteff has been responsible for some of the worst abortions in British cinema history, as anyone who has seen his indescribable 'Big Zapper' will testify. He had already tried to spoof the Bond genre in the mid-sixties, but his cheapjack product hadn't cut it against 'Thunderball'.

With Roger Moore firmly established as the 'new' Bond in 'The Spy Who Loved Me', Shonteff obviously decided to try again. Casting ex-Witchfinder General Star Nicky Henson as a rather tepid Secret Agent was the closest he came to a good idea: he spoofs the Moore Bond very well, and forces the question as to whether he may have been a more satisfactory Simon Templar in 'Return of the Saint'.

In a nod to 'The Ipcress File', Sue Lloyd pops up (though not out) and says a few lines. Also present are 'Spy Who Loved Me' actors Geoffrey Keen and Milton Reid: their presence hardly enlivens the film, but at least they are familiar faces.

On that subject, 2 interesting British horror film starlets can be seen: 'Theatre of Death' actress Jenny Till and Hammer queen Katya Wyeth. Both have since disappeared.

Cheap explosions, lousy dialogue and not very special effects all wear the viewer down, but the diverting script, amusing playing and superbly corny music keep the interest (if not the British End) up.

The Man with the Golden Gun (1974)

"Flat on his coup de grace"

[10/10 · 21 September 1998]

Despite it's unfortunate performance at the box office, 'The Man With The Golden Gun' can be viewed today as one of the very best films in the 007 series. After making the role of James Bond very much his own in 'Live & Let Die', Roger Moore develops a nastier streak for his second outing in the part. For the first time in the series since Goldfinger's potentially castrating lazer, Bond seems genuinely worried: here at last he is faced with an adversary armed with sufficient knowledge of his skills and movements to finally engineer his destruction. That Scaramanga, the titular 'Man With The Golden Gun' fails in this task is due merely to his pompous professional arrogance. Moore delivers his finest performance as Bond here (though his wardrobe was clearly in need of some work, viz the awful green safari suit), and is matched perfectly by horror icon Christopher Lee as Scaramanga. The girls are great too - Maud Adams turns in one of the best female performances in the series, and for my money, Britt Ekland is the finest looking of all Bond's bed mates. A cutting line in wit (with even Sheriff Pepper made a little funnier), some spectacular set pieces and a dark quality absent since 'From Russia With Love' add up to make this a contender for the title 'Best Bond Film'. It could well have been an outright winner, but the logic of Scaramanga rather falls apart in the finale (how can he have all of the technical equiptment when he hasn't a clue what it does or how to use it). Still, this is a minor quible. A great film.

The Blood on Satan's Claw (1971)

Better than Witchfinder General!

[21 September 1998]

Quite simply, 'Blood On Satan's Claw' is the finest horror film produced in Britain in the Seventies. Haunting, horrific and hopelessly compelling it deserves far greater recognition than it currently warrants. Linda Hayden, the most talented actress working in British exploitation films at the time, delivers her finest performance in the film, and it is one light years ahead of the standard in the genre. Patrick Wymark, in his last film role, is also excellent, and music, direction and art direction are all of an exceptionally high standard. Interestingly, the film was shot as 'The Devil's Touch', and originally released late in 1970 as 'Satan's Skin'. For some reason business wasn't too good and it was rereleased the following year on a more succesful double bill with 'The Beast In The Cellar'. Don't miss it!