I enjoy Brad Armstrong's smaller films, not his so-called "blockbusters". For example, "Crossroads" was his very effective little feature set in rural America, from two decades back. He returns to this genre with the old-fashioned, hokey "The Preacher's Daughter", but all those phony industry awards and Wicked big-budgets have gone to his head, as the little story that would have run 75 minutes long back then is released at a whopping 3 hours and nine minutes!
Add to that a completely pointless "come-on" of a bonus 2nd DVD (containing a dull "table read" by the bored cast and a silly "Country Time" short of them trying on Southern accents -Mia Malkova flunks and is the only cast member to not affect an accent in the actual film) and you have marketing triumphing over filmmaking.
Brad casts himself as Pastor Crenshaw of tiny Wellingford, Texas, married to lovely but plain (no trowel of makeup for this role) Alexis Fawx, with free-spirited daughter Mia Malkova. He's from the old school, which drives the extremely cornball plot, for which no screen credit (or blame) is given -even though Brad usually hogs the writing credit.
What emerges is an antiquated, hard to swallow tale that might have been titled "Bus Riley's Back in Town XXX" if Brad were forced to stoop to the execrable genre of so-called "porn parodies". Xander Corvus, with his Texas accent wandering quite a bit from scene to scene, way overacts as the stereotypical "boy from the other side of the tracks" who Brad deems "not good enough" for his daughter. Most arm's length XXX viewers will stop watching early on, not likely to get interested in such silliness for over 3 hours.
Of course the length stems from the need to deliver today's requisite 2 hours-plus worth of sex scenes, plus about an hour of acting and dialog footage. If Brad cut back on the porn content, he would be pilloried by what's left of a fan base and pseudo-critical establishment, both of which have voted for "it's only sex that counts" as their 21st Century bottom line when it comes to Adult Cinema.
So all those brownie points I awarded to Brad at the outset for trying hard to make a real film surrounding the requisite explicit sex interludes is dissipated by bad writing and perfunctory direction. Malkova is as fresh looking as ever, but even her bouncy, can do approach cannot overcome the thinness of her character as written, forget about not joining the rest of the cast in their quest for Southern accents.
All we get is eight, count 'em, eight lengthy sex scenes, spotlighting not just Mia, but the great Fawx stuck humping a paunchy, unappealing hubby = Brad, and Brad again, seduced (very unconvincingly) by prostitute Mercedes Carrera, cast as (hard to believe) an Indian squaw.
SPOILERS:
Mercedes also introduces an incest-baiting theme by posing as Xander's half-sister, so when she humps Xander after servicing Brad we think this is part of the currently trendy step-bro incest craze in porn, or in this case half-brother. But after Corvus's money shot, they quickly reveal the sis/bro relationship was just a ruse to bamboozle old Brad.
Also thrown into the mix is lovely Blair Williams as Mia's BFF, with an even cornier ploy trotted out as she teaches naive virgin Mia all about sex, lesbo style.
BIGGEST SPOILER:
The corniest of Btad's gimmicks is a complete 180 change in tone for a sadistic climax in which the preacher offs Xander, after Corvus's harassment of him and his wife gets on his nerves. He recites some of the over-done fable about the frog and the scorpion (stop me if you've heard it...), memorably used in its entirety by Terence Hill in the Sergio Leone production "My Name Is Nobody" back when Italian Westerns were still in vogue. Only this time Brad ends by pulling out a bottle of scorpions to kill Xander in bondage. To quote Judi Dench from "Philomena": I never saw that coming, in this bucolic story of small- town romance.
I doubt if Wicked will waste big budgets on Brad in the future, not because he's run out of big ideas for tent-pole XXX projects, but simply because the cheapskate public can get better porn for free nowadays, compared to slogging through misguided, bloated junkers like this baby.
Add to that a completely pointless "come-on" of a bonus 2nd DVD (containing a dull "table read" by the bored cast and a silly "Country Time" short of them trying on Southern accents -Mia Malkova flunks and is the only cast member to not affect an accent in the actual film) and you have marketing triumphing over filmmaking.
Brad casts himself as Pastor Crenshaw of tiny Wellingford, Texas, married to lovely but plain (no trowel of makeup for this role) Alexis Fawx, with free-spirited daughter Mia Malkova. He's from the old school, which drives the extremely cornball plot, for which no screen credit (or blame) is given -even though Brad usually hogs the writing credit.
What emerges is an antiquated, hard to swallow tale that might have been titled "Bus Riley's Back in Town XXX" if Brad were forced to stoop to the execrable genre of so-called "porn parodies". Xander Corvus, with his Texas accent wandering quite a bit from scene to scene, way overacts as the stereotypical "boy from the other side of the tracks" who Brad deems "not good enough" for his daughter. Most arm's length XXX viewers will stop watching early on, not likely to get interested in such silliness for over 3 hours.
Of course the length stems from the need to deliver today's requisite 2 hours-plus worth of sex scenes, plus about an hour of acting and dialog footage. If Brad cut back on the porn content, he would be pilloried by what's left of a fan base and pseudo-critical establishment, both of which have voted for "it's only sex that counts" as their 21st Century bottom line when it comes to Adult Cinema.
So all those brownie points I awarded to Brad at the outset for trying hard to make a real film surrounding the requisite explicit sex interludes is dissipated by bad writing and perfunctory direction. Malkova is as fresh looking as ever, but even her bouncy, can do approach cannot overcome the thinness of her character as written, forget about not joining the rest of the cast in their quest for Southern accents.
All we get is eight, count 'em, eight lengthy sex scenes, spotlighting not just Mia, but the great Fawx stuck humping a paunchy, unappealing hubby = Brad, and Brad again, seduced (very unconvincingly) by prostitute Mercedes Carrera, cast as (hard to believe) an Indian squaw.
SPOILERS:
Mercedes also introduces an incest-baiting theme by posing as Xander's half-sister, so when she humps Xander after servicing Brad we think this is part of the currently trendy step-bro incest craze in porn, or in this case half-brother. But after Corvus's money shot, they quickly reveal the sis/bro relationship was just a ruse to bamboozle old Brad.
Also thrown into the mix is lovely Blair Williams as Mia's BFF, with an even cornier ploy trotted out as she teaches naive virgin Mia all about sex, lesbo style.
BIGGEST SPOILER:
The corniest of Btad's gimmicks is a complete 180 change in tone for a sadistic climax in which the preacher offs Xander, after Corvus's harassment of him and his wife gets on his nerves. He recites some of the over-done fable about the frog and the scorpion (stop me if you've heard it...), memorably used in its entirety by Terence Hill in the Sergio Leone production "My Name Is Nobody" back when Italian Westerns were still in vogue. Only this time Brad ends by pulling out a bottle of scorpions to kill Xander in bondage. To quote Judi Dench from "Philomena": I never saw that coming, in this bucolic story of small- town romance.
I doubt if Wicked will waste big budgets on Brad in the future, not because he's run out of big ideas for tent-pole XXX projects, but simply because the cheapskate public can get better porn for free nowadays, compared to slogging through misguided, bloated junkers like this baby.