Looters, Tooters and Sawn-Off Shooters (2014) User Reviews

Never Better Or Worse Than Mediocre

[Theo Robertson · 4/10 · 17 April 2015]

After seeing HOOLGANS AT WAR which is in my opinion the worst British film I've seen in a very long time if not ever I thought I might be suffering pangs of conscience . As soon as I wrote my review people who had never worked on that film no siree thought I'd been disingenuous to a degree seeing as the other reviewers who couldn't possibly have worked on that film in any capacity whatsoever guv thought HOOLIGANS AT WAR was more deserving of a nine or ten rating . These same people also highly rated a movie with a mouthful of title LOTTERS , TOOTERS AND SAWN OFF SHOOTERS which suspiciously has an overlapping cast . I came on to this page and found yet another host of people were rating this one while claiming the positive reviews could only have been written by shills . Let's be honest here , these type of reviews are easy to spot , but if there's a chance that any movie could possibly be worse than HOOLIGANS AT WAR this might just be the one

To be fair LOOTERS is nothing more than a mediocre British crime flick but to be fair it's nothing less than this also . It does have a student film look about it but to give the director(s) the benefit of the doubt this might be trying to emulate realist cinema . Certainly you can't say it looks like it was filmed on a mobile phone . It's not a glamorous film either and does show the fall out to innocent people that violence brings and once somebody decides to impulsively take that road they find it's very difficult to leave due to other people . The subtext doesn't entirely work as presented here

The whole screenplay needed a bit more development especially the insults and one liners which momentarily seem amusing when written down but across as annoying on screen and also shows signs of purple prose . What realthings down is that the actors just aren't good enough and with a better cast it could been a much better film . As it stands it's just mediocre

THIS STARTS WITH ME. IT HAS TO END WITH ME

[nogodnomasters · 3/10 · 7 September 2018]

In the opening scene George Thompson (Piers Brunton) set on fire yelling out his brother Charlie's name (Steve Brunton) because...well we don't know why. It seems crime boss Cheltham (Paul Lee King) after over a decade wants some kind of vengeance on Charlie because....we don't know. So in order to flush out Charlie Cheltham has Danny Thompson (Tommy Ivers Grant) murdered, Charlie's nephew.

Charlie returns to the old neighborhood and reunites with a bunch of old overweight guys who still wear an earring. Revenge!... and save Frankie (Bert Truby) who appears to have attended the Daniel Radcliffe school of no facial expression acting.

Meanwhile there are cops who are voyeurs on everything going on. And oh yes, a few girls are forced to disrobe in the middle of the film, so we don't fall asleep.

The plot was not well constructed. The dialogue was bad and when it wasn't bad it was cliche. Cheltham is overly psychotic but lacks being entertaining.

This is a low end British gang film. I would go watch something with the word "hooligan" in it instead.

Parental guide: F-bomb. Near sex. Women and strippers in bras/panties. No nudity.

Totally and utterly awful. Just dreadful. An insult to British film-making.

[Patrick_Paganini · 1/10 · 27 October 2014]

This film is a perfect example of what happens when a deluded collective of people get together and think because they have seen a lot of gangster films , that they decide on a whim...... " Oh, I'll knock up a screenplay - get it done and filmed and out there ". Without learning any craft. Writing, film-making or acting - whatsoever.

So in this respect - we have a film based on an idea, not a story.

I understand from reading the boards that this was made without a budget. That is fair enough - but this is not the point . There is absolutely no excuse for this. It's the content which is the issue here.

It lacks story. It lacks structure. It lacks emotion. It's just an awful clichéd montage of clips.

I had to turn it off. I could not connect with a single character, the only thing I was compelled to do was switch it off.

I feel utterly duped and angry that I spent my hard earned money on this. Furious in fact - My teenage son begged me to buy it from the supermarket - duped into buying it as It did have an eye catching cover, and my son is a fan of the genre.

Save your money. Avoid at all costs. Don't be fooled like me.

I also understand that the producers are very precious about their film, ( I have just been skim reading the reviews etc here. ) That is understandable. But as a Filmmaker you have a responsibility surely to produce credible work for your intended audience???

I created an IMDb account and have written this review as I could not get a refund - and wish to save someone else the utter frustration I have had to endure.

This is an embarrassment and and insult to British filmmaking.

Loud mouthed plastic gangsters

[DLMJones · 1/10 · 30 September 2014]

Loud mouthed plastic wannabee gangsters poor story line which jumps all over the place. The viewer simply cant follow what is going on or which characters have done what to whom.Poor acting has hindered any real enjoyment even for fans of the Gangster genre.If some time and more thought had of been given to casting to gain just one or two good actors this would of been better.Unfortunately what we have here a multitude of mismatched characters to further confuse the story played by as it seems anyone who turned up on the day. The lines were delivered with no real conviction leaving the film feeling flat with no real impact

Is it a comedy?

[colin-johnson150 · 1/10 · 11 October 2014]

Convinced this was a bad comedy, I.M.B.D. informs us that this is actually a BRUTAL crime drama! They can't be serious, really? BRUTAl? Crime Drama? In reality, there is nothing BRUTAl, or remotely dramatic in this boring effort that invents a whole new level of cliché.

I literally laughed out loud as each of the old boys entered the screen, the cliché cockney sparra bad guys, bald fat-heads, screwed up wrinkly faces etc. etc...

No, this MUST be a comedy, it is isn't it????????? I made it through 40 minutes starting at 1.30am as I couldn't sleep. Well, that did the trick for sure.

No, really, it is a comedy isn't it? you know, taking a rise out of the plethora of embarrassing 'British' gangster/ hooligan nonsense, god forbid they get international air time, what will they think of us.

A real steaming pile to add to the already towering steaming pile of British bull****

One of the worst Gangster films ever, the positive reviews are fake.

[tonyflintjackson · 1/10 · 5 November 2014]

What is this BS? The King brothers made this shite as a personal project and it is a bad one. This film has been shot on a camcorder by the looks of it, the lighting is bad, dialog even worse and there are no actors in this film just people who wish they were. The main baddie I think is actually one of the pathetic "king" brothers that made this POS. This "film" should be shown in films school as an example of what NOT to do when making a film. Also the 2 people that have given this POS reviews full of praised seem to be shills or family friends, no sane person would give this more then one star. If you don't want to waste your time its best to avoid this car crash of a gangster movie.

Box office miss

[gauranga · 1/10 · 25 January 2015]

The DVD box looks good, the film title rhymes well. But beyond this the film is more than disappointing. If the cast were recruited from Amateur dramatic groups then they've made a good job. Don't think your going to watch "A Classy Well Crafted British Gangster Movie" as described on the case.

British films like "Scum" through to "Starred Up" Are what you call classy and well crafted. Looters, Tooters and Sawn of Shooters is more "A Crassy you've been Shafted slangster movie"

This film will go on the shelf....at the local charity shop, then at least some good will come from the purchase of this film.

Worse than a school play

[snooksgodzilla · 1/10 · 1 October 2014]

I love gangster films but this effort was too amateurish to get beyond 30 mins of viewing. If you were to get your mates out the pub & play pretend gangsters you'd end up with this result - worthless outside your circle of friends and family. What was the point of employing the fat blonde girl , how hard is it to find competent actors ? It's not the low budget that undermines this film it was that it reeked of a vanity project, wooden actors , terrible set direction & not one professional involved in the effort. The only person that (based on 30 mins of viewing) could be given a pass was the script writer , the script itself could of worked in more capable hands.

Hilariously Rubbish

[Stilettto36 · 1/10 · 11 March 2015]

This may be the worst film I have ever seen. The acting is appalling, and the script a close second. One of the highlights is the slightly camp Inspector, and his terrible acting Sergeant. As a schoolboy project, it's great, but to be on the shelf in main department stores along side Lock,Stock, and all the other great British gangster films is joke. I agree with some of the comments that the makers should be congratulated on writing and getting the film made, but it is seriously poorly filmed and acted. I struggled through to the end, but only because it was so terrible . We'll as I now need to add another line to post this review , I am just adding these comments. Great artwork and cover, terrible film.

Gritty gangster plot of love, hate and revenge

[markstedman24 · 9/10 · 26 September 2014]

The story of Charlie and Cheltham is a story which could be based on a true story in the murky London criminal scene. It is raw and gritty and is what it is! Full of action, drama and a sprinkling of suspense. A film made from the heart and soul of the King family and the dedication of all the leads and supporting actors who spent many months dedicated to ensuring the film came to fruition. I am no critic but like any film buff you will notice the strong points and the weak points. There was some excellent acting from actors who have never been trained and found themselves in at the deep end working alongside some well know faces from the TV, film and music industry. This could make its way into one of the top cult British Gangster films. A very big well done to all involved.

3 Years since I lost Pete

[karensgrief · 7/10 · 22 August 2020]

August 22cnd 2017, it still feels like yesterday, my beloved husband Pete had an awful week at work. He worked for HMRC as a tax officer for over 25 years and took a great deal of pride in his work. This particular week, I sensed a sadness in him, like he was becoming frustrated by the younger intakes coming into the organisation. To cheer him up, I went out to Asda and got him his favourite dinner, and came across this movie as I was checking out...Petey always loved British crime films, he loved the work of Guy Ritchie and all things crime. I thought he would love to sit down with bangers and mash, with a good movie and let the troubles of his week drift away, accompanied by a sturdy ale.

When Pete arrived home, I had his slippers by the door and sat him down with this DVD. Whilst cooking his dinner I left Pete to watch the movie with his feet up with a pint of Speckled Hen. Upon bringing his dinner in on a tray, I saw Pete and gasped, he was frozen, he looked like Petrified Colin Creevey From Harry Potter. He was just frozen with a face like someone had screeched their nails on a blackboard. Petey was rushed to hospital and put in what Dr Singh called a CIC (Cringe Induced Coma). Sadly Pete passed away 3 days later...occasionally I will put the movie on, as it always reminds me of Pete

Petey, if you can hear me up there I love and miss you darling. I know I will see you again some day...Until we meet again, your loving Karen.

definitely not Lock Stock .........

[colesyd · 1/10 · 18 September 2015]

Inspired to write my first post not to be spiteful as has been suggested but to express MY opinion. Maybe making a movie with no budget and inexperienced actors could be somebody's dream but that doesn't mean that a) it's any good and b) it is necessary that it should be viewed. I watch movies to have have my suspension of disbelief reengaged and to be entertained. All this did was chew up some of my existence in the space time continuum. This was the worst movie I have seen for a long while. As a fan of the "Lock Stock' movie I thought this would be worth a view too. It wasn't. As pointed out it was made with no budget and how it shows. Thin plot ( generous ) and pretty average acting. Facial expressions limited to the range shown by Summer Glau in the Sarah Connor Chronicles, which I liked btw, ( i.e. robot like ). Spoilt my evening. Do not bother.

before you go for that kerosene, here me out...

[daniel-mannouch · 5/10 · 28 June 2017]

CONS: Overly busy plot + cast list, Cheap A.F camera, Crap performances, absalbloodyloute dog of an ending

PROS: Good atmosphere, Great locations, Well Written (not acted) Characters, One great set piece (The botched assassination)

My conclusion is that it's a descent directorial effort that lacks dramatic weight to fully justify it's running time and the tiring self- importance. OK Brit-Noir.

Unwatchable

[wilkster-31749 · 1/10 · 3 November 2020]

Load of Cockney wannabe villans. Very dissapointing film.

Awful directing for a very downbeat and interesting story

[searchanddestroy-1 · 20 February 2017]

Once more the UK crime film industry shows a so awkward and terrible movie, as directing I mean, and also acting. But, sorry, I really loved this film, especially the Charlie's character. An old timer who gets back to business to save his nephew. He is so poignant,I could not prevent myself to fell empathy for him, feel pain in during the torture sequences. The final shoot out is so badly made, the directors are really amateurs, but I don't really care, as far as this story is a very bleak but also dark one, when SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS nearly every one in this feature dies in the end. There are tons of this kind in the UK crime movies from this era. I will try to see them all.