The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)

The Anything Can Happen Recurrence (2014)

Kaley Cuoco: Penny

Photos 

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Penny : So, we're about to shoot this scene in a movie where the killer ape DNA is slowly taking over my body.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Okay.

  Penny : But I realize they're gluing fur everywhere except my cleavage. So, I ask the director why and he says it's important for the story that my boobs be the last things to turn ape.

  Leonard Hofstadter : It's sweet that he thinks there's a story.

  Penny : Oh, and there's not even a bathroom on set. I have to go to the gas station across the street. I mean, I was dressed like half an ape and still not even close to the most disgusting person in there.

• Penny : Sheldon, what did we say about being a nicer friend?

  Leonard Hofstadter : Thank you.

  Penny : Leonard, what did we say about being a gullible weenie?

• Penny : Hey, maybe the answer to your career question is in one of these

  [fortune cookies] 

  Penny : .

  Sheldon Cooper : Penny, there's only one cookie with something in the middle that solves life's problems and that's an Oreo. Or a Nutter Butter if you're in a pinch.

• Sheldon Cooper : Have you ever paid for a meal?

  Penny : Not with money.

• Sheldon Cooper : I don't mean to be rude or discourteous, but before we begin, I'd just like to say there is absolutely no scientific evidence to support clairvoyance of any kind. Which means again, no insult intended, that you're a fraud, your profession is a swindle and your livelihood is depended upon the gullibility of stupid people. But again, no offense.

  Penny : Sheldon, ask your question.

  Sheldon Cooper : OK, I just did. What was it?

  Penny : Oh, for God sakes. Look he's a physicist who trying to figure out what his next field of study should be.

  Sheldon Cooper : For your information I was asking her about the next Star Trek movie.

  Penny : I can answer that one. I'll be bored.

  Ms. Davora : All right. Why don't we begin? Your spirit guide is telling me that there's a woman in your life that you're having problems with.

  Sheldon Cooper : That's an easy guess. I'm a clearly annoying person and have problems with both genders.

  Ms. Davora : I know. You clearly are. But I'm seeing a specific woman that you're in a romantic relationship with.

  Penny : Oh, oh. Here we go.

  Sheldon Cooper : The majority of people have dark hair. Even you at one time.

  Ms. Davora : Does she work in a similar field to you?

  Sheldon Cooper , Penny : Ha. The opposite. She's a neurobiologist, I'm a theoretical physicist. My spirit guide can go suck an egg.

  Ms. Davora : They're telling me that you have difficulty being close with her.

  Penny : Oh, he does. He so does. What should he do?

  Ms. Davora : He should give himself to this relationship. Once he does all his other pursuits will come into focus.

  Penny : Sheldon, did you hear that? Amy is the key to your happiness.

  Ms. Davora : Exactly. Personally and professionally everything will fall into place once you commit to her.

  Sheldon Cooper : You know what this is? Yeah, and I reserve this word for those rare instances when it is truly deserved. This is malarkey.

  Penny : Wow. You really struck a nerve. I've never heard him use the M word before.

• Amy Farrah Fowler : I'm sorry. I just needed a break from hearing you obsess about what to do after string theory.

  Bernadette Rostenkowski : I kinda wanted one night where we didn't have to hear about how miserable you were making this movie.

  Amy Farrah Fowler : None of that means we don't love you.

  Penny , Leonard Hofstadter : I don't complain that much about the movie, have I?

  Leonard Hofstadter : I also love you.

• Sheldon Cooper : What can we do that's fun?

  Leonard Hofstadter : What can we do that's different?

  Penny : What can we do that's free?

• Sheldon Cooper : So, we're just randomly choosing a restaurant without researching it online?

  Penny : Yup.

  Sheldon Cooper : Great. See, this is how Anything-Can-Happen Thursday turns into It-Won't-Stop-Coming-Up Friday.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Hey, how about that Asian fusion place?

  Sheldon Cooper : Fusion *and* Asians? I'm trying not to think about science.

• Penny : [Sees Amy and Bernadette at a cafe]  Son of a bitch! Bernadette isn't working late!

  Sheldon Cooper : And Amy doesn't look sick.

  Penny : Why would they lie to us?

  Sheldon Cooper : I don't know.

  [Knock-knock-knock] 

  Sheldon Cooper : Amy and Bernadette.

  [knock-knock-knock] 

  Sheldon Cooper : Amy and Bernadette.

  [knock-knock-knock] 

  Sheldon Cooper : Amy and Bernadette. Why would you lie to us?

• Sheldon Cooper : Uh...

  Penny : What's wrong?

  Sheldon Cooper : I don't understand my food. It's Chinese noodles, Korean barbecue, and a taco.

  Penny : It's fusion.

  Sheldon Cooper : My mother would lock her car doors if she had to drive through this hodgepodge of ethnicity.

• Penny : [Reads her fortune cookie]  "People turn to you for guidance and wisdom." That's a good one.

  Sheldon Cooper : No, it's not. Turn to you for guidance and wisdom? That cookie is clearly mocking you. You'd never get that kind of sass from a Nutter Butter.

  Penny : Since you're paying for dinner, I'll let that slide.

  [Gives Sheldon a cookie] 

  Penny : Read.

  Sheldon Cooper : Have you ever paid for a meal?

  Penny : Not with money. Read.

  Sheldon Cooper : [Reads]  "Your warm and fun-loving nature delights those around you."

  Penny : Nope, try again.

• Sheldon Cooper : [to the psychic]  You know what this is? Yeah, and I reserve this word for those rare instances when it's *truly* deserved. This is malarkey.

  [he storms out] 

  Penny : Wow, you really struck a nerve. I've never heard him use the 'M' word before.