Modern Family (TV Series)
Mistery Date (2012)
Tom Costello: Moderator
Quotes
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Claire Dunphy : What are you doing back here?
Alex Dunphy : I didn't have the room key, and I don't wanna be seen in public.
Claire Dunphy : I thought about what you said before...
Moderator : When did China's last emperor ascend the throne?
Alex Dunphy : 1909.
Claire Dunphy : And you can say a lot of things about me, but I am not someone who lives through her kids.
Moderator : [buzzer] Sorry. It's 1909.
Claire Dunphy : Do I like to see you succeed? Of course I do!
Moderator : Tritium is an isotope of what element?
Alex Dunphy : Hydrogen.
Claire Dunphy : But do I need that to make myself feel important? Absolutely not.
Moderator : [buzzer] No, the answer is hydrogen.
Claire Dunphy : As a matter of fact, I'm a little hurt you would think I was so shallow.
Moderator : The Persian satrapy of Skudra included which two areas?
Alex Dunphy : Macedonia and Thrace.
Claire Dunphy : I know moms like that, and that is not me. No way.
Moderator : [buzzer] Macedonia and Thrace.
Claire Dunphy : Are you freaking kidding me? Macedonia and Thrace? What even *is* that? You're hardly even listening! How could we lose this?
[Realizes]
Claire Dunphy : I said 'we.'
Alex Dunphy : Yeah. You do that sometimes.
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Cushion Stealer : Oh, that's a good idea.
Claire Dunphy : [Lowered voice] Oh, yeah. The chairs are rocks. You can get a one-day cushion for $8, or a two-day for $12.
Moderator : Alex Dunphy.
Claire Dunphy : Last year, I got two 1-dayers-big mistake.
Moderator : Who wrote the 95 Theses?
Claire Dunphy : My daughter went on to win the whole thing, and all I could think was, 'I just flushed $4 down the toilet.'
Alex Dunphy : John Calvin.
Claire Dunphy : [Negative buzzer] Whoo! Alex! I guess I just didn't want to presume that we would be here for the two days. But still, what kind of message was I sending with the 1-dayer?
Alex Dunphy : You 'whoo'-ed me?
Claire Dunphy : What are you doing here?
Alex Dunphy : I'm out. I got the question wrong, which is embarrassing enough without you 'whoo'-ing me.
Claire Dunphy : Alex! Alex, come back here!
[as she runs after Alex, the woman moves to take the seat cushion]
Claire Dunphy : Don't!