Sun, May 4, 2014
Frank is calling the patent office with a hangover curse (gin, applied liberally), when the Doyles are interrupted by a knock at the door. It's the ghost of their friend Arthur, who needs their help - he wants to go haunt his mother one last time before she dies, but he needs someone to haunt the house he was haunting while he's away. Sadie is reluctant but Frank, who is very excited by the idea of pretending to be a ghost, convinces her. The two head off to Arthur's childhood home. Finding it empty, they busy themselves by doing various 'haunted house' things (stacking the chairs in a pyramid, turning the picture frames, and making all the dolls face the same direction). The house's occupants, a single mother (Karen) and her daughter (Anne Marie), arrive home, and the Doyles hide in the closet. Karen tries hard to hold it together to be strong for her daughter, but the dolls facing the same direction proves to be too much and she flees the room. Frank and Sadie feel bad about having to continue, but as the promised Arthur, they emerge and pretend to be ghosts. Anne Marie isn't scared of them, and explains to the Doyles that Arthur is her friend. She's been having trouble with her mother, and she and Arthur talk about it (and sometimes play with her dolls together). Anne Marie has been hoping that Arthur's haunting will make her mother realize her inner strength. Karen returns, having called the Man In White, Chipper, to help exorcism the house. Frank and Sadie are increasingly skeptical of the legitimacy of Chipper's abilities. He claims the house is full of angry spirits, when the Doyles know that is not the case at all. They emerge from the closet and try to scare Chipper. A real ghost, Arthur's mother, appears and scares Chipper away. Arthur returns, and the two of them reconcile. As Arthur goes into the afterlife, Karen finds her strength and "chases" him away.
Mon, May 26, 2014
Frank and Sadie arrive at their country house, in an attempt to get away from people (and supernatural creatures) that come looking for them to ask for their help. Unfortunately, they forgot to lock their back door, and a young woman named Pearl arrives asking for their help to save her boyfriend. After ensuring sure that this has nothing to with the supernatural, the Doyles agree to help her. Pearl's boyfriend, Edgar, turns out to be a lagoon monster. After arguing with Frank for a few moments over whether this counts as a 'supernatural' problem Pearl insists that the Doyles save him, as she is a fresh-water mermaid and doesn't have a compatible respiratory system. Some woodland animals - a turtle, a frog, and an otter - sing a short song encouraging the Doyles to give Edgar mouth to mouth. Sadie does, and Edgar transforms into a human. The forest animals claim that this is due to True Love's First Kiss (which Frank has some issues with), since Edgar was originally a human who was transformed into a lagoon monster via True Love's First Kiss with Pearl. Pearl says that this is because Edgar has fallen out of love with her, although Edgar insists that he hasn't. The animals try to get the two to recapture their love for each other by recounting the story of how they met. When Edgar was a child he visited the pool where Pearl lived and it was love at first sight, but his parents pulled him away from the water before they could speak to one another. Although he tried to find love with other women, he never forgot Pearl (although his failure at other relationships might also have had something to do with the fact that the frog followed him around for most of his childhood and adulthood without his knowledge). Eventually, he returned to the pool and he and Pearl had their first kiss, transforming him into a lagoon monster. Edgar says his dissatisfaction stems from the fact that he misses things from his old life (like lamps, and cake), and that unlike Pearl (who has a job that somehow has monetized swimming) he has "nothing [he] loves" under the water. Both Pearl and the animals react badly to this revelation. Edgar has a drink with the Doyles and discovers that liquor isn't as good as he's built it up to be in his mind, which makes him question whether anything from the "above world" could live up to the expectations that he's created. He tries to get Pearl to kiss him again to transform him back into a lagoon monster, but she refuses, saying that he's hurt her and that she's not sure that she wants him back. The animals tell him (in song) to apologize, otherwise they will kill him (and the Doyles). Frank encourages Edgar to apologize by giving a fabricated story about how he had similar feelings the Edgar at the beginning of he and Sadie's relationship. Edgar apologies, saying that the relationship they had together might not have been passionate but it was comfortable and easy. Pearl agrees, adding that although he may not be the right guy for her, looking for a new one is too much effort. They kiss, Edgar transforms, and the two of them return to their underwater home. Once they're out of earshot, Frank disagrees with Edgar and Pearl's assessment of love, saying that every day with Sadie is as wonderful as the first. The animals begin to sing again, and the Doyles flee back into the house.
Sun, Jun 29, 2014
Frank and Sadie are spending an evening at Donna Henderson's, when they are interrupted by Arturis Severvein and Johnny Vampire, twin Nosferatu-level vampire brothers (they are twins in that they were both bitten by the same vampire at the same time, and also in that they were born identical twins). Severvein recognizes Frank and Sadie as the two that killed their maker, Carlysle Ravencastle, Dark Husband to the Midnight. Ravencastle's final thrall over Severvein and Johnny was to thrall them into competing for the title of King of the Vampires, even though neither of them really want to. Since Donna has been overseeing things as interim-king, she must preside over the duel (which will take place in her backyard, where she can keep an eye on them). Severvein is keen to start the duel, but Johnny is less enthusiastic. Frank suggests that Donna also take part in the duel (which would, of course, then be referred to as a 'truel'), as she is already a capable leader of the vampire community. Although Donna is certain she could beat the in a physical fight (in four bites), vampire duels are done by proxy. Vampires engaged in a duel summon a proxy who fights to the death for them. Severvein attempts to summon his proxy. Instead, a lamp appears. The Doyles realize that it's the lamp in which they trapped the Old One, which Donna tells them keeps materializing all over the house in precarious positions no matter how many times she puts it back in the attic, as the Old One is trying to free himself by putting his lamp in positions where it could easily smash. The doorbell rings, but instead of Johnny's proxy it is a group of Gypsies, who want to take Michelle as part of their apocalypse prophecy. Donna refuses, and uses her thrall to force them to leave. Severvein says that if Donna is to be part of their duel/truel, she must also summon a proxy. Donna doesn't have one on hand, so Sadie volunteers. Donna and Frank protest as this is dangerous - the vampire and proxy who lose the duel/truel will both die. As that will only happen if she loses, Sadie is unconcerned. Frank insists they change the parameters of the truel to something non-lethal and, as Johnny also agrees, the motion is carried (two against one). The doorbell rings again. Johnny thinks it's his proxy's arrival, but instead it's some Evangelical Satanists who are looking for Michelle, as she is part of their apocalypse prophecy. Donna refuses, and she, Severvein, and Johnny drink the Satanists. While the vampires are drinking, Sadie reminisces fondly about her and Donna's more carefree days before either of them were married (and also, in Donna's case, before she was a vampire), when they would get into "such wonderful trouble together". Frank doesn't feel the same way about his own pre-Sadie days, but doesn't begrudge Sadie for doing so. The doorbell rings again, and this time it is Johnny's proxy, a succubus named Cistala. She and Severvein clearly know each other and share romantic feelings for each other (however, they keep these feelings a "secret" for the others as love between vampires and succubi are forbidden by vampire law, which only the King of the Vampires has the power to change). Cistala inadvertently uses her powers on Frank and then Sadie, before turning her powers off for the purposes of the truel. The doorbell rings, but instead of Severvien's proxy it is three invisible men, who have come to see Michelle and give her gifts of invisible gold, invisible frankincense, and invisible myrrh. They are unsure if Michelle is already in the room, as everything is also invisible to them (light can't be refracted by their invisible eyes, so they are blind). They ask Donna if they can take Michelle for their prophecies, and Donna refuses. They leave (or at least, they pretend to). The doorbell rings, and this time it is Severvein's proxy, a changeling named Phil. Phil displays his powers by turning into Sadie (to Frank and Sadie's delight), and explains the nature of changelings - they can never know love, because they don't have a true form to love. Severvein says he wants to talk to Cistala in private, and Cistala goes to wait for him in the kitchen while he speaks with his brother. Johnny reveals he knows Cistala and Severvein are in love, as she once mistook him for Severvein and revealed her love. He plans to use this against Severvein to win the truel. Meanwhile, Phil uses his changeling powers to speak to Cistala using Severvein's form. She declares that she will throw the contest, even though it will mean her death, because of her love for him. Because of her dedication to love, Phil falls in love with her, and decides that he will kill Severvein and use his changeling powers to take Severvein's place in the truel and in Cistala's heart. The invisible men overhear this and are dismayed (although unfortunately, because they are blind, they are unsure about who was speaking). Phil confuses Severvein and Johnny, and asks Johnny to speak to him in private, planning to kill him. The invisible men interrupt to stop him, almost knocking over the lamp with their wild gesticulating. Frank tells them to be careful of it, explaining that the Old One contained inside is trying to break out. The invisible men wonder why the Old One doesn't just break the lamp if he can move it. This had not previously occurred to the Old One, and it immediately breaks the lamp. The Old One threatens them all with destruction and death. Believing that they are about to die and wanting to unburden themselves, Cistala and Severvein reveal their love (no one is surprised). Phil also reveals his love for Cistala and how he had planned to remain in one form for the rest of his life to be with her, which Cistala finds romantic. After checking that their love wouldn't be forbidden ("definitely nope"), and the two embrace their love. Johnny insists that this was his plan all along, but faced with the skepticism of everyone he admits that his plan was just to not die or become king. The Old One insists that everyone will die. Frank and Sadie call down Michelle, and introduce her to everyone including the three invisible men who want to take her because she has "great power". Michelle excitedly demonstrates her powers, using them to destroy the Old One. Michelle stops short of bringing about the End of Time, because if she does that she won't get dessert. Since Michelle won't be bring about the apocalypse, the invisible men leave. Severvein tries to continue on with their truel, but Michelle breaks the thrall that Ravencastle had put over Johnny and Severvein. Free from the thrall, the brothers no longer want to compete for the title of King of the Vampires. Cistala breaks up with Severvein and leaves with Phil. Johnny and Severvein also leave. Donna remains the interim-king. Sadie is disappointed that she didn't get to recapture some of the wildness of her youth by taking part in the truel, but Donna insists that their good times are even better now that they have Frank, Dave, and Michelle in their lives, and Sadie agrees.
Wed, Apr 16, 2014
Frank and Sadie interrupt Spooky Hal's introduction, as they claim that he isn't beginning it correctly. Instead of beginning high above Manhattan, the Doyles begin their story at an auction house where they have won their latest auction purchase. Sadie interrupts Frank's story to begin their story in a different place - back at their apartment (which annoys Spooky Hal), where the Doyles are finishing their breakfast (of liquor, naturally) when the mail arrived, informing them of the previously mentioned auction. They excitedly discuss the item that they have an interest in bidding upon, when their story is interrupted by Pterodactyl Jones. Jones insists that that isn't how the story began either. It began even earlier than the Doyles hearing about an auction, with Jones giving up the supernatural detective life to become a mailman (he also gave up dames, smoking, and, to the Doyles' shock and horror, liquor). Jones delivered a parcel to Kirk and Irma Cook. Irma and Jones flirt heavily while Kirk takes his time signing for the parcel. Jones leaves, but quickly returns. Irma begs Jones to help her escape her husband, and she gives Jones a glass of water (as he no longer drinks). Kirk discovers the two of them together and the Kirk and Jones get into a fight. Kirk quickly gains the upper hand, and Jones quickly goes down thanks to the drugged water Irma gave him. When Jones wakes up he finds that Kirk is dead and that he has been framed as the murderer. Kirk, or rather the ghost of Kirk, interrupts Jones' story. Despite not remembering all the facts of his death, he's sure Jones is his murderer and plans to follow Jones until he has gotten his revenge. Frank and Sadie point out that Kirk doesn't have any evidence to back up his claims. When Kirk's ghost first began to haunt Jones, Jones went back to the scene of the crime to try to find evidence to exonerate himself. Unfortunately for Jones, he found no evidence. After overhearing the lead detective, Detective Corso, say that Irma had pointed the finger at Jones for the crime, making Jones was the lead suspect. Kirk discusses some of the case details he was able to overhear, such as his cause of death (a blow to the back of the head). Unfortunately for Kirk and Jones, the murder weapon is missing and it's the vital evidence that could prove Jones' innocence or send him to prison. This brings them back to Sadie's story of the mail arriving, which then joins onto Frank's story of winning the auction - three antique shelves of aged liquors (6 bottles total). Frank and Sadie argue with Jones about exorcising Kirk. Jones refuses to help as it goes against his new rules, but quickly relents after Kirk says he wants to go to Wisconsin. However, before they can begin the ritual, Detective Corso arrives to arrest Jones. Jones proclaims his innocence but has no proof, which is when the Doyles continue their story. When they returned home from the auction and examined their winnings they discovered they had 7 bottles. Although at first they thought the extra bottle was some sort of gift from the auction house (as thanks for not making fun of the auctioneer's tiny gavel), or that one of their bottles had somehow made it's way into the antique collection, but they soon realized that the seventh bottle had a ghostly aura around it. The seventh bottle was added after the auction listing was published, and the bottle's ghostly aura is due to it being the murder weapon. With this evidence in hand, Jones is exonerated. Corso puts out an APB for Irma, and leaves. Kirk follows Corso, since he wants to haunt his murderous wife. Corso leaves the bottle, and Sadie surmises that Corso has left it on purpose so that she has a reason to track Jones down later. Jones thanks the Doyles, and Frank tells Jones he can make it up to them by giving them a new bottle for the one taken as evidence.
Sun, Sep 28, 2014
We begin with married mediums Wade and Aubrey Crespo, the toast of the upper crust, headliners on the society pages, in their penthouse apartment. The two of them admire their apartment, the apartment that is definitely theirs and belongs to them, when they are interrupted by a knock at the door. It's Frank Doyle, their liquor delivery boy man, and he needs their help - there's a werewolf threatening him and since the Crespos are experts in supernatural matters he's come to them for protection. They offer Frank a drink to settle his nerves and he initially refuses since he might get in trouble with his boss, but eventually accepts. Frank clinks glasses with Wade, who is upset by it. The liquor reminds Frank of something, but he's unsure of what exactly that thing might be. Frank explains his situation with the werewolf: 26 days ago one came up to him in the street and threatened to kill him if Frank didn't give him what he was after. The problem is, Frank doesn't know what the werewolf is after. There's another knock at the door, but it's not the werewolf - it's Sadie Knickerhouse, Frank's supervisor. She's come to chastise Frank for leaving the Crespos' crate of liquor downstairs instead of bringing it up to the apartment as he was supposed to. Frank explains his current situation, and Sadie mocks the idea that the Crespos could offer any form of protection against werewolves, even if she believed such things existed. Wade suggests that they try to figure out what the werewolf wants from Frank to help him, and Sadie decides to fix herself a drink. Aubrey takes offense to Sadie fixing herself a drink with the Crespos' alcohol, but Sadie is unconcerned (Sadie clinks glasses with Aubrey, which annoys her further). Franks asks Sadie if she has delivered to the Crespos before, as she seems very familiar with the layout of their liquor cabinet, but Sadie says she hasn't. Wade strenuously tries to change the topic, but ends up getting Frank and Sadie to reflect on what they have - their jobs as a delivery man and delivery man supervisor. Frank and Sadie clink glasses to celebrate, and have a strange feeling. Before they can examine what it might mean, they are interrupted by a knock at the door. It's Keller, the werewolf who threatened Frank, and he's brought up the case of liquor. Keller passes it off to Wade, who sets it down at Sadie's request. Aubrey is annoyed that Sadie is ordering her husband around in her own apartment. Sadie insists that she was only doing her job as supervisor, and then ponders why it feels strange to say that she has a job. Frank agrees that it sounds strange, but isn't sure why. Wade says that the reason they feel strange about things is because of the werewolf threatening Frank. Keller introduces himself, and says that if Frank gives him the book, he might let him live (probably not though). Frank isn't sure what book he means, and in looking around for a book Frank and Sadie realize that the bookshelves are full of liquor bottles, not books. Wade and Aubrey insist that Keller can't kill someone in their apartment, and suggest that he and Frank go downstairs instead. Keller threatens the others, and insists they hand over the book. Frank says that he can't give Keller the book because he doesn't have it, in fact, he doesn't have anything of value except for an insane crush on his supervisor, Sadie. Keller sniffs him to see if he's telling the truth (he is), and says that he smells as if he's a completely different person that the last time Keller saw and smelt him at the auction house. Frank says that it couldn't have been him, because he's never been to an auction house. Sadie remembers sending him to the auction house with various pointless liquors 26 days previously. Wade interjects, saying that they should stake Keller before he attacks them. Frank thanks him, but Sadie tells them that staking a werewolf wouldn't work, and then wonders how she knows that. Aubrey asks her is she knows how you do kill a werewolf, and Sadie tells her (bullets made of silver, gold, platinum, and diamond, shot in that order). Aubrey tells Sadie that she knows a lot about werewolves for liquor delivery supervisor, and Sadie says that the only explanation must be that she must be a werewolf. Keller says that she's not (he'd be able to smell it). Frank tells her to think back to "about a month ago" to see if she remembers transforming into anything. Sadie doesn't remember whether she did or not. Annoyed that they seem to be ignoring him, Keller asks if he's been turned into an invisible man. Sadie says that they'd still be able to hear each other even if that was the case and that he'd be blind, and then wonders how she knows that. Aubrey suggests that Sadie knows that because she was bitten by an invisible man. Frank says that's not how invisible men work, and then wonders how he knows that. Keller feels his transformation coming on, and threatens to "suck [Frank's] skull" if Frank doesn't give him the book. Sadie defends Frank, which gives them both the same strange feeling they had before when they clinked glasses. Sadie says the reason must be the same reason that she knows that in the bedroom are guns loaded with the bullets needed to kill a werewolf. After a brief, tense stand-off, Keller decides to leave before they can get the guns. Frank thanks Sadie for saving him, and tells her that she's the best ... boss that he could ever wish for. The mention of wishing makes Wade extremely nervous, and Frank and Sadie tell him to calm down, and ask Keller to tell them about the book he was looking for. Keller says that Frank outbid him at an auction for a book of the short story The Monkey's Paw, which Keller was going to use to become richer. This was no ordinary book for, like the magical monkey's paw the short story was about, the book could also grant three wishes, at a an enormous price. Wade insists that he's never heard of the book, but Frank is skeptical. Frank asks Wade is the book might be the reason that he and Sadie seem to have a strange feeling and no recollection of anything before 26 ago. Aubrey finds the book, just as Keller's transformation begins. Sadie and Frank both suspect that this is in fact their apartment (backed up by some mail addressed to Frank), and Sadie threatens to shoot him. Wade admits that he stole Frank's book. Wade was delivering their liquor and Sadie showed him about Frank's latest auction purchase - a cursed copy of The Monkey's Paw. Wade held it, and wished to have the lives the Doyles had, causing them to switch places. Aubrey is touched that Wade wished for a better life for the two of them, until Wade tells her that, in reality they're not actually married (in fact, they've barely met - Aubrey works at the cafe near from the liquor store and Wade has a crush on her). Sadie says that with the one wish Wade has left, he should wish to set things right and return things the the way they were before he made his first wish. Wade hesitates, not wanting to pay the enormous price that the third wish entails. Keller threatens to take the book and kill all of them, and begins transforming. Wade quickly makes his third wish to return reality to how it was before his wish. Reality shifts back, and Frank and Sadie are drinking in their apartment when they're interrupted by a knock at the door. It's Keller, who's there to steal the book from Frank. Wade appears, and tells Keller about the guns the Doyles keep in their bedroom, and Keller quickly retreats. Wade asks if the Doyles want to know how he knows about their guns, but they tell him they don't, quickly getting him out of their apartment as Wade ponders his price. Sadie says she hates it when people remember their wish, and Frank agrees.
Wed, Oct 29, 2014
Thrilling Adventure Hour and Wits Crossover. is a two-part bonus crossover of The Thrilling Adventure Hour and an episode of Beyond Belief. Wits was a weekly national public radio broadcast produced and distributed by American Public Media. As of September 2015, the broadcast ended.
Thu, Nov 13, 2014
Frank and Sadie noticed something is strange. There is a note on the table that neither of them can read, and that neither of them can remember writing. They try to correct their feeling of strangeness by getting a drink from the liquor cabinet, but the cabinet slides further and further away as they try to approach it. Sadie worries that they may be sober. Busby the Grump appears and reassures her that she's not. Frank thanks Busby and introduces Busby and Sadie, although Frank does not remember specifically how he knows Busby. Hucklebuckle Beanstalk appears, and Sadie delightedly introduces Hucklebuckle and Frank although, like Frank, she doesn't remember exactly how she knows Hucklebuckle. Hucklebuckle and Busby both ask the Doyles to consider how they know them, and what is happening. Frank and Sadie conclude that they are in a dream, and that Hucklebuckle and Busby are a pair of dream things ("figment Americans" is the more correct term). Hucklebuckle and Busby ask the Doyles if they know whose dream they're currently in, although the Doyles don't think that's important. Hucklebuckle and Busby ask the Doyles for their help - a creature is creeping into children's dreams and giving them almost-memorable scary dreams. Hucklebuckle and Busby's job is to give children's good dreams, and they want the Doyles to help them stop the creature. Frank says as long as they're already there they may as well. Hucklebuckle and Busby take the Doyles to the coma dream of Mallory Blackpool. Sadie is delighted, as he wrote some of her favorite childhood stories. Frank has never heard of him, and Sadie gives him a run down of 'Berdy Beeswax and the Candy Bazaar', and one of its main characters, Carnacious Canary. Hucklebuckle explains that Blackpool's coma-dream has freed Canary, and he is currently running wild through the dreams of children. Sadie finds it difficult to believe that Canary or Blackpool could be responsible for hurting children (even in such a meaningless and unmemorable way), as both Canary and Blackpool loved children. Busby announces that Canary is in fact here with them, and Canary welcomes them to his dreamscape. Canary says that he hates children because they are "nasty wretches, filthy, incoherent, and small". Sadie is still disbelieving that Canary would want to harm children, as in the book he loved them. Canary says that although he might love them, Blackpool does not, and he is bound to carry out Blackpool's wishes against his will. Frank summons Blackpool so that they can stop him and free Canary. Canary explains the situation and Blackpool seems surprised. Sadie asks Blackpool if he can remember any unpleasant interactions with children that might be causing his subconscious to act out this way. Blackpool says that all of his interactions with children have been unpleasant, staring with his own childhood. He based the characters of 'Birdie Beeswax and the Candy Bazaar' on people he knew and hated, beginning with Vilhelm Chonklet (Sadie's favorite character). Canary and Blackpool concentrating on Chonklet summons him to the dreamscape, in the form of his eleven-year-old self. Chonklet is happy to see Blackpool, and refers to him as a childhood friend. Blackpool insists that Chonklet was one of many people to bully him during his childhood. Sadie asks about his other bullies, and because Blackpool is concentrating on them they also appear - Iodeen Zealand, Polly Dunlap, and Matt Stinker, all of whom he used as characters and killed off in his book. The others reveal that they were Blackpool's friends - Zealand lent Blackpool money so that he could attend university (they also dated for nearly three years), Chonklet introduced Blackpool to his first publisher, Stinker made the movie based on Blackpool's novels, and Dunlap married Blackpool. The Doyles wonder how he can hate children, if these children helped him so much throughout his life. The dreamscape changes to the study of Blackpool's mentor and tormentor, TR Mortain. Mortain has also been summoned to the dreamscape, and he isn't happy to see Blackpool. Mortain hates Blackpool, and he especially hates Blackpool's work for children. Blackpool says that it was Mortain who encouraged him to write for children in the first place, although it turns out that Mortain wasn't so much 'encouraging' him as he was 'insulting' him. Canary stabs Mortain, which has no real effect since they are dreaming. The Doyles realize that they are in Mortain's dream. Frank gets out the note they found earlier, and gives it to Canary. Canary can read it, and the note turns out to be a contract between writer and reader - "anything that works, works". Since Blackpool's books have worked for so many people, Mortain is forced to admit that he is in breach of that contract. Mortain apologizes to Blackpool for not respecting him or his work, and leaves. Blackpool says that Mortain respecting him has given him more closure than any success ever could have. Mortain returns, slow-clapping. He reveals all his years of torment were merely a test. Although Mortain isn't proud of Blackpool, he isn't disappointed. Mortain sends Blackpool back to his own coma-dream. Since Blackpool no longer has a need to carry out subconscious hurt feelings, Canary is free and will no longer have to hurt children. Canary leaves with Hucklebuckle and Busby to bring good dreams to children.
Sun, Dec 7, 2014
It's the Doyles' New Year's Eve party. Frank is looking forward to the clock counting down, as it means he will be able to kiss Sadie (who is a stickler for holiday-based rules), and also will be able to chase all their guests out of their apartment. As the clock counts down, their guests, and the city, freeze in place. Sadie takes the opportunity to drink their guests' drinks. Frank is pleased, as it means he is finally alone with Sadie on New Year's Eve. Before the Doyles can enjoy things too much, they're interrupted by a knock at the door. It's Norman, an old man who begs them for their help. He believes he is being followed by two mysterious men in suits. He's worried for himself, but he's even more worried for his girlfriend, Margot. Sadie asks Norman if he has any idea why these men might be following him, and Norman says he doesn't know. In fact, he has no memories of anything beyond the previous New Year's Eve. Norman believes that the two men in suits have taken his memories, or at the very least that they know something about his missing memories. Norman says the two men in suits also have strange powers - reversing and speeding up the time around him. Margot bursts into the Doyles' apartment. She says that the men in suits are close behind her and she begs Norman to flee, but he won't leave without her. Margot seems to know more than she says, but she refuses to tell the Doyles anything. The two men in suits arrive. They want to ask the Doyles some questions. The men in suits want to know if the Doyles have met Norman before (they haven't), if this is their party (it's Sadie's), if they know why everyone's frozen (they don't), and if the Doyles know why they are not frozen (they don't). Margot asks the two men why they're chasing after Norman. They seem familiar with him, and say that he has "violated codes left and right and center." Now it's the Doyles' turn to ask questions. They want to know who the two men are (Agent March and Agent Rozsa) and why they're after Norman. They claim Norman knows why they're chasing him, but Norman swears he doesn't. They want to take him with them, but Sadie won't allow it. Something of the agents says enables Frank to crack the case - it's about time, just as Norman claimed. The Doyles figure out that Norman himself is causing the disturbances in time without knowing it. Norman subconsciously left the Doyles out of it because he believed they could help him. Sadie hesitantly suggests that Norman might in fact by the embodiment of Old Year, who is trying to stop turning into the New Year so that he can stay with his true love, Margot. This turns out to be exactly the case. The agents say that Norman needs to be reborn and Baby New Year so that time can move forward. Sadie prevents the agents from taking Norman, but Margot says that maybe Norman leaving with the agents is for the best. She doesn't see a future for them with the world frozen like it is. Sadie also encourages Norman to leave with the agents - she doesn't really want her friends and acquaintances (and hangers-on) to be frozen in time forever. Norman and Margot share a tearful goodbye and he leaves with Agent Rozsa. Once they have left, Agent March address Margot as Agent Gibney. It's revealed to the Doyles that the Agents go through this each year with Norman, as each year he falls in love with "Margot" and each year they must convince him to come with them and change for the new year. Frank remarks that that seems like a hassle for them, and the agents agree - it is a hassle for all of them. The agents bid goodbye to the Doyles until next New Year's Eve. As the agents leave, the party unfreezes, and the Doyles share their New Year's Eve kiss at last.
Sun, Jan 4, 2015
Sadie asks Frank if there is anything he fears. Frank replies that he hasn't been afraid of anything since he met her. There is a knock at the door and at first Sadie doesn't want Frank to open to door - after all, it might be something fearsome. Frank reminds her that they're expecting Ken. the liquor delivery boy. After checking their appearances (outstanding and splendid, respectively) they race to answer the door. Unfortunately, it's not Ken. It's two "people" who insist they're "neighbours". Despite their insistence that they're definitely people, the Doyles are unimpressed. The Doyles try to get them to leave, but the two visitors seem unaware of what the Doyles are trying to attempt. The two visitor tell the Doyles that they will never be able to guess what they are or why they're come - they look like two skeletons (with some fleshy parts), which they are, and they've come for the Doyles' livers. The Doyles, of course, are using their livers pretty much constantly, and are unwilling to give up their livers. The two skeletons want the Doyles livers for precisely that reason - they're the strongest ones there are. The two skeletons tell the Doyles that they need the livers to impress two Frankenstein girls that they've met. They've fallen in love with the Frankenstein girls, and have been trying to build up their skin and organs even since. There's another knock at the door. The skeleton men think it's the Frankenstein girls, but it's not. This time, it is Ken - he's arrived with the Doyles delivery for the day. Ken sees the skeleton men, but interprets them as elaborate Halloween decorations. The Doyles give Ken a tip, and Ken thanks them for all their help. The Doyles bid him farewell (until tomorrow), but Ken tells them that this is to be his last shift. He's gotten into Harvard (the college). The Doyles are very proud of him and wish him well as he leaves. The two skeleton men leave after him and quickly return, with extra brains which they've taken from Ken. Ken arrives shortly after, now as a zombie (and no longer going to Harvard). Sadie demands that the skeletons give Ken back his brains. There's another knock at the door, and the two Frankenstein girls arrive. They've been told that this is where their secret admirers live, and they talk excitedly about the sorts of organs their secret admirers must have. The two skeleton men take the Doyles aside, asking the Doyles to let the skeletons have their livers before the Frankenstein girls notice they don't have any. Ken has an idea, and with the Doyles help he's able to explain it.The Doyles will pretend that the skeletons have livers, thus impressing the Frankenstein girls, and in exchange the skeletons will give Ken back his brain. After conferring with each other briefly, the skeleton men agree and take Ken into the bathroom so that they can return his brain. The Doyles talk up the two skeletons and their amazing livers to the Frankenstein girls, how are very excited to get to know these two liver-having gentlemen. However, when the skeletons and Ken emerge, Ken talks excitedly about his brain and how he will soon be going to Harvard (the college), which impresses the two Frankenstein girls even more. They ask him out on a date and he excitedly agrees, and the three of them leave. The two skeletons are disappointed, but Frank tells them not to be upset - anyone they have to change themselves that much for isn't really the one for them. The two skeletons say he's right, and in celebration of this, they strip off their stolen skin and organs onto the Doyles' clean floor and rush out for a celebratory drink. Sadie wonders if they should stop the skeletons - after all, they did murder quite a lot of people - but Frank says that they should let the skeletons go, as they learned an important lesson. The Doyles go over to the window to watch the two skeletons race across the road, where they're hit by a bus.
Sun, Feb 22, 2015
Frank is extremely excited to finally receive an item which he won an auction many years ago (in fact, it was the Doyles' first auction purchase): a bottle of MacGuffin scotch, the only surviving bottle from the entire distillery. This leads them to reminisce about their very first auction, as well as a new rumor Sadie has heard about one of their auction friends, Secular Charlie. The phone rings, interrupting their gossip session. It's Secular Charlie, and at first Frank thinks that she might be calling to try and buy the MacGuffin from them, as she was their main competition during the auction, but Secular Charlie says that she needs their help. Frank is reluctant to go, as he is not a fan of churches or of going to them, but Charlie has asked for their help in relation to the supernatural, and Sadie feels compelled to help one of their auction friends. The Doyles arrive at the church to find Charlie very shaken up. Sadie tries to ease Charlie (and Frank) into the conversation. A nun, Sister Helmer arrives. She assumes the Doyles are exterminators here to help with the church's pest problem. Charlie is very frustrated with Sister Helmer , and insists that it isn't a pest infestation. Sister Helmer tells the Doyles that they have a case of barn owls stuck in the church rafters. Charlie says that the "owls" have far too big of a wing span to be owls. Sister Helmer tells her that the owls only have such a large wingspan because they are in such a large church. Sadie asks Charlie what she thinks the problem is. She believes the problem is angels. The two angels fly down and enthusiastically introduce themselves to the Doyles. They confirm that they are angels, but Sister Helmer continues to insist that they're barn owls. She doesn't want anyone to think that they're angels, as it will frighten people away from the church during their busiest time of the year, Christmas. Frank wonders why angels would be bad for business. Sadie echoes Frank's question saying that she could see why the overly enthusiastic angels could be a nuisance, but not enough to drive people away. Charlie tells them it's because now, when she's in church around the angels, she feels a deep spiritual connection, but when she's away from the church she can feel the lack of it, and it's driving her mad. It's driven the rest of the congregation away. The Doyles remain unimpressed by the angels. The angels heard Charlie's music and saw the light from inside the church and flew in, and now can't figure out how to fly out. Sadie speculates they were looking for sanctuary from their jobs (helping nerds be cool, showing people what everyone's lives would be like if they were dead, etc), and the angels agree - their jobs are depressing, and they're not sure if they even make a difference in people's lives. Frank assures them that they do (they do, after all, have a 100% clearance rate). Reinvigorated, the angels try to fly out but still can't co-ordinate themselves enough to get through the door. Frank gets a broom and shoos the two angels out. They get caught in the trees outside straight away, but Sister Helmer assures everyone that they'll be fine.
Sun, Mar 22, 2015
The two Doyle brothers are toasting the holiday. Crispin asks Frank if there is anything that scares him. Frank replies that only "the familiar mixed with a sense of something different", not unlike the feeling he gets from Crispin. His train of thought is interrupted by a knock at the door. Frank stops Crispin from answering, asking who he is. Crispin insists that the two of them are brothers, although Frank has no memory of him. Crispin reminds Frank that the person at the door is most likely Ken, their liquor delivery boy, and the two rush to open it. Instead of Ken, it's Leonard and Boz, the two skeleton men. Frank remembers them immediately from The Skeleton Brief, even though Crispin insists this is the first time such events have occurred. The two skeletons reintroduce themselves, insisting that they're humans. They ask Frank to guess why they're visiting, but Frank already knows: they want his liver. The skeletons are impressed by Frank's guessing skills, and they, too, are experiencing deja vu about the situation. The skeletons feel compelled to explain themselves, even though Frank already knows everything they have to say. They insist they need Frank and Crispin's livers, since theirs are the strongest. Frank says that his might be, but he can't speak to the strength of Crispin's liver. Crispin says that his liver is just as strong as Frank's, and that he has been keeping up with Frank, drink for drink, since their childhood. Again, Frank does not remember that. The two skeletons insist that Frank would change his mind if they explained the situation, and Frank says he won't. Crispin wants to hear the skeletons out, since it's "part of this", but he doesn't explain what, exactly, it's a part of. Leonard begins explaining that he and Boz met some Frankenstein girls, but Crispin tells him he's explaining things wrong. There's another knock at the door. The skeleton men think it's the Frankenstein girls, but Frank knows it's Ken. It is Ken, and he's arrived with the Doyles' liquor. Crispin tries to shoo Ken out straight away, but Frank tells him to come in. Frank wants to ask him something, but Ken doesn't want to stay too long - he's got to pack to leave for Harvard, the college. Frank asks Ken if he made a wish on Frank's cursed copy of the Monkey's Paw (as a previous liquor delivery boy had done in order to change his life), but Ken did not know about the book and had no desire to change his life. He got in on his own merit - a very high score on his standardized test. Frank asks him if he used to book (or a genie wish) to get the test, but Ken insists that he did not ("liquor boy's code"). Frank trusts Ken, but finds the two skeletons and Crispin to still be suspect. Crispin says that Frank should trust him because they're family, but Frank isn't sure how that is possible. Crispin and the skeletons all swear that they haven't made any wishes either. Despite that, Frank is still very suspicious of them. Since Frank doesn't suspect Ken, he wishes him goodbye. The skeletons overhear about Ken attending Harvard (the college), and question him about his brain. Crispin jumps in, protecting Ken and telling them that if they follow this line of thinking they'll only end up hit by a bus. Crispin wants Ken to leave before the Frankenstein girls arrive, but hes too late - just as he tells Kens to leave, the Frankenstein girls knock at the door. The Frankenstein girls enter, very excited to meet their secret admirer, and talk excitedly about the sorts of organs their secret admirer must have. They immediately spot Ken and take a liking to him, especially after they find out that he's going to Harvard (the college) and therefore has a brain. Crispin tries to distract the girls, to no avail, and so he tries to get Ken to leave instead. Ken says goodbye and asks Frank to pass on his goodbyes to Sadie, since she isn't there. Frank also wonders about this, and Crispin tells them that she's at Donna Henderson's place. Frank doesn't remember Sadie leaving, but he knows she's there. Crispin asks to speak to Frank where they can't be overheard by the others. He wants Frank's help to get Ken to leave, because if Ken if there for too long the Frankenstein girls will fall in love with Ken instead of the skeletons, and then they'll be hit by a bus, which he finds to be an unsatisfying ending. Crispin believes that the love between the skeletons and the Frankenstein girls must win out above all others, claiming that any other outcome is unfair. The skeleton men try their luck with the Frankenstein girls, but fail their test (whether they have livers or brains). Ken, who has both of those, is still a better choice in the Frankenstein girls' minds. The skeleton men, upset over losing the Frankenstein girls, talk about leaving to go to a bar on the opposite side of the street. This development upsets Crispin even further. Frank wants them to leave, but Crispin insists that they can't until the Frankenstein girls fall in love with them, and that "love always wins". Frank suggests that maybe love is going to win, but that maybe it will be the love between Ken and the Frankenstein girls rather that the skeleton men and the Frankenstein girls. Crispin tells Frank to fix things, or they won't be brothers anymore. This threat is not very effective on Frank, who isn't entirely sure that they're even brothers to begin with, since he doesn't have any brothers. Ken wonders who Crispin could be if not Frank's brother, and Spooky Hal intervenes - Crispin is a Wil O' The Wisp, like him. Like Spooky Hal, he watches the lives of others unfold, but he's become too involved in their story and Spooky Hal (or Merryl, as Crispin calls him) has come to stop him before he goes any further. He didn't come in prior to that because, well, he's a Ken fan. Frank tells them all that he will take no more intrusions on his reality, but first, he has to make a very important phone call - to Sadie, to ask how she's doing with her own adventure, and to tell her that he loves her. With that taken care of, Frank turns to the matter of Crispin's reality bending. Crispin says that too much has happened, and they should start again from the beginning so he can get things right. Merryl and Frank disagree. Since wil-o-the-wisps are involved, Frank wonders who's telling this particular story. Merryl says that it's him. In fact, Crispin is merely a character that he created who gained too much of his own agency. Frank says that since it's his story, he has the power to fix it. Merryl doesn't know how, so Frank makes a suggestion - that Crispin should become mortal and join the skeleton men for a drink at the bar over the road, thus getting hit by the bus. Crispin dislikes this, but is powerless to resist Merryl's power over him. Crispin and the skeleton men leave. Ken, Merryl, and the Frankenstein girls leave for a date to the roller rink. Since Merryl isn't there to do the outro, Frank concludes by wishing everyone goodnight, and hoping that Sadie would come home soon.