The Bisbee Cannibal Club (Video 2002) Poster

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5/10
An unremarkable spoof on horror movies
jjturley25 April 2017
Warning: Spoilers
This review contains spoilers. Consider yourselves warned...

The charming town of Bisbee is located in southern Arizona. I was lucky enough to visit the place several years ago. Though not very large, it offers a nice hotel, some galleries and cafes, all with an Old-West backdrop. I highly recommend it.

The movie "Bisbee Cannibal Club" is about a group of cannibals that reside in Bisbee. They are very particular about their food - they only want to dine on vegetarians (vegans in particular), so they hang around the local vegetarian restaurant and scope out suitable prey for their next feast. The restaurant is not large, and often they are sitting very close to their next victims, as they engage in their own musings over how the victims will taste.

As more people start to disappear, another group of folks take notice. A quick stop for research at the local library determines that the disappearances are caused by cannibals picking on vegetarians. So, this group now calls itself the "Bisbee Cannibal Hunters" and decides to find the cannibals.

Since Bisbee is such a tiny town, it turns out that the cannibals live just two or three houses up the street from the hunters. Convenient, to say the least. And another thing: When any following is done (either by cannibals or hunters) nobody ever notices, even when the person is ten feet behind.

It was sometimes difficult for me to distinguish cannibals from hunters, since they generally looked about the same: 30-something roughneck bikers, all acting tough. Their music was loud and they drank heavily. They also liked firearms; lots of them.

The vegetarians, on the other hand, looked different: much softer and sensitive in appearance. When they were not eating tofu, they would go to poetry events and recite the worst spoken word I have ever heard. I was not sorry to see their numbers diminish.

So, at the end of this movie, there is a huge shootout at someone's house and only a few hunters are left standing. All the cannibals are dead. The hunters then decide to try some of the "steak" that the cannibals had been cooking. Quickly realizing that it was the best they ever had, they now turn into cannibals themselves, which is perfect timing since a visitor shows up who tells them he is vegan.

This movie was clearly shot on video and the editing was passable enough, I suppose. There were some day and night sequences that were hard to follow. (One case in point: Someone hiding outside at night was looking in a window; we then see a daytime event; we then go back to the man outside at night. Did a full day pass?)

There was a "garden" somewhere outside of town where people were burying bodies. Unclear where that was, or what was going on. And of course, as all this mayhem was going on, the other townsfolk seemed oblivious and the police were not interested.

It kept my interest long enough to watch to the end. I give it a 5.
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8/10
A SOUND BITE FOG
nogodnomasters10 June 2019
Warning: Spoilers
The small town of Bisbee, Arizona has a cannibal issue. A group of people who call themselves "The Bisbee Cannibal Club" (complete with tattoos) eat vegetarians. Carnivores taste gamey. Our main character, while tending to his magic garden discovers it has been disturbed. After nonchalantly passing a pit/circle bordered by multiple human skulls, Priest (Jonathan Ash) freaks out when he finds a skull in the ground which he identifies as an acquaintance. At this point there is only one thing to do....drop a button.

He forms a group of vigilantes who vow to hunt the cannibals...who in turn hunt the hunters.

The film is silly. The dialogue inane. The acting is bad. A group enters a gun store to buy weapons, only in the next scene use new baseball bats. A girl gets shot in the arm and a day later wears a sleeveless shirt with no marks. The film was so low budget they couldn't afford a soundtrack so they had a three year old kid beat on a drum.

The film was really bad, but in a good way. And I agree, poet vegetarians deserve to be eaten.

Parental Guide: F-bomb. No sex or nudity. My DVD has the same film on it twice. I FF through the second one and didn't notice a differences.
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