Roadside (2013) User Reviews

Waste of time.

[Lil_Git · 3/10 · 30 January 2015]

This movie started off well but lost itself partway through, resulting in a movie that I had to force myself to finish.

I had no empathy for the characters and honestly neither of them had redeeming qualities that made me even care whether they survived or not. The story itself seemed to be really dragged out by the writers.

The "bad guy" delivered his lines in such a way as it came of quite cheesy and then when the ending finally made an appearance I was left shaking my head wondering in what universe that even made any sense.

I'm giving this movie such a low score simply because the majority of it was a struggle to finish and left me really disappointed after such a strong start. This is a movie I would urge other people to avoid.

Cheapjack thriller

[Leofwine_draca · 3/10 · 2 May 2016]

ROADSIDE is a cheapjack horror/thriller combo about a couple who go out driving one night and end up being stranded in their car by a sniper lurking in the woods. It's a low budget suspense movie that clearly wants to be the next PHONE BOOTH, but the single location set-up of the thing is all it has going for it.

Instead this is a boring film filled with unlikeable characters and overwrought acting. Nothing much happens for long stretches and attempts at suspense fall flat over and over again. It doesn't help that you don't give a fig for the characters supposedly in peril while the villain of the piece is equally dull and yawnsome. Lots of shooting-in-the-dark cinematography follows, leaving viewers to squint their eyes and wonder why they're still watching until the final, predictable scene unfolds.

Not GOOD, But Not Horrible

[bgthomaswriter · 4/10 · 8 September 2015]

First: Acting—some of it was good and some pretty bad. The husband was pretty good, the wife? I've seen better high school actors. The Bad Guy was believable before we knew he was a bad guy, then he got cheesy and I winced at his evil laugh. The cop was adequate.

Second: Production values were surprisingly good. Night filming is very difficult and this movie did it beautifully. Direction was pretty good as well.

Now SPOILERS!

The ending made no sense. It was like a Twilight Zone ending was added. There was no resolution. There was no explaining why the Bad Guy knew who Erin was. We kept thinking the bad guy must be Erin's angry husband. And why would the Bad Guy give the couple a flare gun??? It just didn't make sense. Coitus interruptus is what it was.

But the WORST was that we were supposed to believe it was winter and days before Christmas and that the car might need chains on the tires, yet the trees were covered in green foliage! We never saw breath frosting from the character's mouths—nothing! And it would have been easily solved, at least the green leaves, by saying it was a freakishly early cold snap—We had a lot of snow the third weekend in October here in the Midwest. It totally detracted from the film for me and was a story element that just wasn't necessary. It would have been fine without the "cold" storyline.

The thing is that I still saw lots of promise with this director and will be watching out for him in the future.

Not entirely good

[Red_Identity · 6 December 2014]

The film starts effectively enough. The problem is that it just becomes a another very standard, very predictable, only mildly entertaining horror flick. no real surprises (that ending is super cliché, people aren't going to fall for it). The acting is decent enough, but it does become grating at a certain point (although really, only because the characters themselves do and the writing starts getting worse). But I'm giving it a 5 because at no point is it actually bad, just never very good. Maybe some will find more enjoyment out of this, but for me, not a total waste of time but not a proactive time spend either. So really, depends on you if a viewing is warranted

Here's how NOT to make a thriller.

[eddie052010 · 2/10 · 7 July 2018]

Here are a list of ingredients of which mixed together makes for an altogether disgusting stew of a bad thriller movie.

Here goes:

1. Have unremarkable performances from your leads to disengage you from the narrative and therefore not create tension.

2. Have those same characters occupy boring archetypes (like a struggling couple as in this film) of which leads to recycled plotlines, making the film feel redundant.

3. Have these characters occupy a unique story, sucking all the life and fun out of it, making it feel all the more unoriginal.

4. Have said characters make stupid decisions (like about using their phones) to elongate the plot as opposed to creating an exciting story or characters.

5. Create false tension through numerous regurgitated storylines and plot threads instead of writing strong enough characters or a strong enough story to carry it and create actual tension alone.

6. Have contrived scenes (including some related to the wife character being pregnant) to again create false tension and make us feel empathy of which the film has not earned towards these characters, given how uninteresting and unlikable they have been up to this point.

7. Have the bad guy act moronically, including a scene whereby he flees the area, even though he has a couple HELD HOSTAGE of who could flee once he did that. Have the main characters not jump at this opportunity either.

8. Have an out of nowhere scene to trick you into thinking that the person on screen is the bad guy when it isn't, to develop a mystery that has previously been woefully underdone.

9. Have the end scene have a twist so out of place all the while so predictable, as the mystery of the villain hasn't been developed at all up until this point.

10. Don't end your film. Leave it on a cliffhanger of which will be mistaken for ambiguity and intrigue by imbeciles, but is clearly the writer giving up because he has run out of money or doesn't know how to end his film.

In other words, that is this movie in a nutshell. Avoid it at all costs.

Spoiler!!

[dupontjg-278-481855 · 1/10 · 26 September 2020]

I gave it a 1 for the simple fact; HE KILLED THE DOG!! If I could, I would have made it a negative one!

Just why?

[timhatridge · 2/10 · 16 November 2020]

Another disappointing movie. There was just no passion or love behind this paint-by-the-numbers thriller. The production values were good, and the night shots looked well for a low-budget movie. The actors were competent, and I guess they did all they could with the script. But the story was so unimaginative. It's hard to believe there aren't more interesting scripts floating around Hollywood out there than this. There was just nothing to it, and the ending was predictable, lazy, and disappointing. Why go through all the trouble of making a movie when you have nothing to say?

Skip this one.

Spoiler included

[dzturbedne · 1/10 · 4 October 2020]

The complaining from both lead characters was annoying. The minute the gas station clerk kept repeating his name, I'm like, this grandpa is suspect. And then he hurts Buddy! What was the point of killing the dog? It didn't add to the movie plot. The way it started, it had potential and then it went down the drain. Gave it a single star

I'M STILL HERE

[nogodnomasters · 1/10 · 19 November 2018]

Dan Summers (Ace Marrero) and his expecting wife Mindy (Katie Stegeman) are traveling the holiday season to spend Christmas with his sister. Along route 16, Dan stops to remove a tree from the highway, only to be held hostage by a man in the dark woods we can't see but only hear and unfortunately the conversation is boring. Yes there is a gun that fires. Sometimes people get hit, but basically it is more boring than that film about a guy with a cell phone buried in a wooden box.

Not much horror. Just a guy complaining that it is cold. Go watch paint dry.

Guide: F-bomb. No sex or nudity.

Roadside Distraction

[thesar-2 · 3/10 · 24 August 2016]

Never try to be Hitchcockian. And this goes for you, M. Night., as well.

OK, even M. Night Shyamalan wouldn't have taken on this script. But, writer/director Eric England did. And he even hired a Bernard Herrmann- esque composer for this film. Shame. Despite that score also being a rip-off, it was the best part of this movie.

Independent horror films can be a gem. If you can find them. Though I love watching them, I only find one really great one for every twenty I watch. Most recently, I've been binge watching several Indie-Horror movies, including this one. Of the six, only Summer Camp rose above average and was almost perfect. It's not every day you discover a: The Invitation, The Final Girls, Summer Camp or the granddaddy of them all: Halloween. Boy, do I love those days.

This Wednesday…wasn't one of them.

Aside from the major plot holes, were the additional WTF moments: Why would he do that? She wouldn't do that! He could do this. He didn't think of this?

Let me back up. The movie involves a troubled couple on the way to spend Christmas at the male-half's family house. They get stopped on Christmas Eve in the middle of nowhere by a sniper with the least effective and hilariously bad voice telling him what he'll do if the male-half doesn't obey his wishes.

Basically, the husband stays outside in the cold with the threat of being shot if he tries to reenter his vehicle while his very pregnant wife must stay inside the car…or the hidden-in-the-woods sniper will kill one or both of them.

Okay, I get the concept and for a point, it's interesting. But, as it wears on, it gets predictable, problematic and annoying with the (again) man's terrible voice. It was so incredibly un-creepy and unintentionally hilarious, it was hard to feel threatened alongside our victim couple. Plus, the script even hints at the killer man's omnipotence with a subplot that, very sadly, begins and goes nowhere in seconds.

Maybe this was an experimental film and w/d Eric England wanted to get his feet wet first. Not sure. But, I know he did surround himself with talent. Unfortunately for him, his future film lineup doesn't look promising. Whelp, good luck to him because this surely isn't recommended nor am I dying to dive into another of his projects.

***

Final thoughts: To be fair, this movie wasn't 100% terrible. There were moments of flair. But, for the love of all that's horror, listen to your gut. When you hear the mysterious man in the woods, or "the killer," and he sounds silly and nonthreatening, hire someone with a deep and scary voice and ADR the sh|t out of those scenes. Please.

Please....

[rlbozzzz · 1/10 · 9 March 2019]

Please, do not throw an hour and a half of your life away on this film. The only good outcome is that my wife forgave me for talking her into watching it.

Road trip to hell

[theshockchamber · 6/10 · 4 April 2015]

Roadside is a very smart horror thriller. Set on Christmas Eve, Dan and his pregnant wife Mindy are on their way to visit Dan's relatives. On the way they encounter someone on the road that is trying to cause an accident with his truck by constantly slamming on the breaks in hopes they rear end him. stop for gas and meet the store clerk; an kind and accommodating older gentleman, a police officer, and the asshole from the truck. After a brief encounter and an exchanging of words, they continue on their way to see thee family.

On the way they encounter a log in the road, blocking their path, and as Dan gets out to move it, their nightmare begins. In the woods on the side of the road hides a sniper, and he refuses to let them leave. Throughout the night, they are shot at, terrorized, their dog gets murdered, and Dan takes a bullet through the hand.

Hours later, Dan's brother in law comes to look for them and faces a pretty bloody, untimely death. Mindy goes into labor, and Dan decides its time to fight back and get his wife and unborn child to safety. He uses gasoline, road flares, and a book of matches to devise their escape plan.

In what seems like is about to be an anticlimactic series of moments they set their plan into motion. They distract the sniper by igniting a fire to interfere with the snipers night vision scope. Dan fast breaks to their vehicle to haul ass out of there. It looks like the plan worked, until the sniper finds his sights back on Dan. BOOM... a bigger explosion goes off to blind the sniper through the scope, and they get away.

As their making their way to a hospital they begin to run out of gas. Out of gas they start the footing it as fast as possible, but Mindy can barely go any further with her labor pains. Just when all looks bleak we see a car in the distance. Mindy fires a flare to get their attention. The driver stops and they climb in. They are relieved that it's the kind store clerk. The happy music starts and all looks promising.... or is it?

Who was the sniper? What fueled his hate for Dan and Mindy? Do they make it to the hospital safely? Find this out and everything in between to see exactly how enjoyable of a film this is. There's a few moments that make you think you have everything figured out, but then you are hit with a curve ball that shows you that you have no idea of the darkness these soon to be new parents. I would recommend this film to anyone. It has a really well done script. The intensity and terror these people go though is very believable. Ace and Katie turn out very believable performances that they both should be proud of. Ace Marrero, who reminds you of SVU star Danny Pino, plays the husband and soon to be father at a crossroads in life, and Katie Stegeman plays a great bitch that is fed up with her husband's sneaky ways and isn't afraid to show it.

Danny Mozz www.theshockchamber.com

And then...it ended

[dawnferris · 5/10 · 11 December 2014]

****Not sure if this really contains a spoiler. I talk about the end, but I don't give it away. Just a bit about whether or not I liked the end. So if you don't want to know if it had a good, great, horrible or even alright ending, stop reading towards the end of this review.****I went into this with little expectation of liking it. Then I did like it. The dialogue between the husband and wife was entertaining, never forced or stilted nor boring. The writing was reasonably done as was the acting. Honestly the only character I disliked was the bad guy. Duh, right? I didn't dislike him because he was the bad guy I just didn't like the way his lines were delivered. Knowing what I know now(the ending) I wonder if this was done on purpose. I watched this really waiting for what I thought, no, knew to happen. But it didn't it keep on . Then it ended. Yep. It ended. All movies end you are thinking. Yeah, they do. But this one ended before I thought it would. It surprised me. That doesn't happen often. Did I like the end? I don't know. Maybe I'm just to used to "and they all lived happily ever after, The End." Maybe I just like more explanation. I don't know. I didn't hate it. But I didn't love it either. Sequel , anyone?

Has got to be the dumbest premise I've ever seen in a horror movie

[selfdestructo · 1/10 · 25 December 2021]

This one makes no sense whatsoever. And they gave it a holiday theme! Like this'll go down with all the Christmas greats. Puh-leez.

A couple is driving down the road, and find a tree blocking their way. Husband gets out to move it, and a gunman in the woods starts talking to him, and holds he and his wife hostage. In the middle of nowhere. Why? Good question. This is never revealed! Gunman says it's not about money, and he has personal information on them. Why? This is never revealed! Literally, psycho gunman holds two people hostage in the woods for absolutely no reason. Won't let the woman move an inch in the car, but periodically allows the two of them to conspire. Baffling!

They throw in 3 twists. Every one of these you can see coming from 20 miles down that gravel road. Not an ounce of originality, unless you find a lone gunman holding two people hostage on a roadside original.

I honestly can't think of a bigger waste of 81 minutes.

Too drawn out with no character development

[kevin-raisor · 2/10 · 15 June 2021]

This movie was decent at the beginning but completely dropped off during the first 20 minutes or so. There was no character development of either the main characters or the antagonist. The ending was completely predictable and way too stupid.

Don't waste your time.

[3.3] You'll never know when it comes handy!

[cjonesas · 3/10 · 11 January 2024]

Likely made on a budget of 10k. Of all the sniper movies, this is the worst. It has only 2 main persons, help in here (out there) is super limited and irrational. Animal lovers will be very upset. The "why" and "how" of the killer are never explained and his rifle never shown physically.

A law enforcement officer character does the most "unforgiving" and stupi' things that could be done from such a person, has no flashlight and pistol in sight, does nothing to protect himself and as a result (you guess...). The temperature outside the car is 12 degree, they are freezing, but the trees have green leaves. The trees are illuminated like by projectors from below, so strange.

And, as they had to ultimately finish the movie, just the identity of the shooter is revealed with probably deadly consequences.

That's not a bad film, that's one that should have never been made.

• Screenplay/storyline/plots: 2.5
• Development: 6
• Realism: 2.5
• Entertainment: 3
• Acting: 3.5
• Filming/photography/cinematography: 6.5
• VFX: 5.5
• Music/score/sound: 3.5
• Depth: 1
• Logic: 0.5
• Flow: 2.5
• Drama/horror/mystery: 4
• Ending: 2.5.