Quotes
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Sterling Archer : Lana... Lana... Lana... LLAANNAA!
Agent Lana Kane : WHAT?
Sterling Archer : ...Danger Zone!
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Ray Gillette : What's going on?
Lana Kane : The timer sped up!
Ray Gillette : What? Did you cut the green one?
Sterling Archer : Yes. Roger. Steven. Whoever!
Ray Gillette : What were the last two letters?
Sterling Archer : B as in butthole!
Lana Kane : Ray, what do we do here?
Sterling Archer : And M and in mancy.
Ray Gillette : What?
Lana Kane : M as in what?
Sterling Archer : Mancy. What did you think I said?
Ray Gillette : Nancy! You idiot!
Lana Kane : Ray, tell me what to do!
Ray Gillette : So, do ya'll have parachutes?
Lana Kane : No!
Ray Gillette : Well that would be, you know, problem solved.
Lana Kane : Ray!
Ray Gillette : I don't know. Push it off with your big-ass hands! Good luck, honey.
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Sterling Archer : I'm getting my turtleneck. I'm not defusing a bomb in this!
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Sterling Archer : Forget about Krause, there's your bomber. That guy, Beardsley McTurban-head.
Malory Archer : You idiot. That's Sandhu Singh, the billionaire investor. He's a Sikh.
Sterling Archer : Oh, so if he's not a Muslim, he just gets a pass? Well that's called profiling Mother, and I don't do it.
Capt. Lammers : Mr. Singh is a Excelsior's majority shareholder.
Sterling Archer : So.
Capt. Lammers : If anything went wrong with this flight, he'd lose millions.
Sterling Archer : It's the perfect cover.
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Agent Lana Kane : Can you just get out of the way?
Sterling Archer : What? Are you going to shoot me again?
Agent Lana Kane : Yes!
Sterling Archer : Well then hang on.
[He moves out of her way]
Agent Lana Kane : Cyril's already freaked out enough about us sharing this shoebox without you air drying your unkempt bush!
Sterling Archer : Unkempt bush?
[Someone knocks at the door]
Sterling Archer : Ha, you're one to talk!
Agent Lana Kane : Huh! My vulva is smoother than a veal cutlet
[opens the door and sees Cyril]
Agent Lana Kane : with terrible timing.
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Agent Lana Kane : [On cell phone] So, what would you say if I told you that your mother made a phony bomb threat just to get a free ride on a blimp?
Sterling Archer : I'd say that's fairly classic her.
Agent Lana Kane : Oh, shut up.
Sterling Archer : And then I'd just sort of laugh at the... uh, uh, watchamacallit... irony?
[Sees bomb timer ticking down]
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Sterling Archer : Jesus! You want to blow us all to shit, Sherlock?
[Archer slaps the face of a man attempting to light a cigarette]
Malory Archer : Sterling!
Capt. Lammers : For the last time, the Excelsior is filled with non-flamable helium!
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Sterling Archer : Hey! What'd I tell you, huh? Huh?
[Archer slaps man attempting to light cigarette]
Man Lighting Cigarette : Ow!
[Archer grabs the man and shoves several bills of money in his mouth]
Sterling Archer : There! Go buy a nicotine patch!
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Capt. Lammers : We don't normally drink on the bridge.
Sterling Archer : Well I don't normally fly on the Hindenberg 2.0!
Lana Kane : And Cyril doesn't normally storm off without kissing me goodbye!
Sterling Archer : So we're all out of our comfort zone.
Malory Archer : Not me! My stateroom is gorgeous.
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Sterling Archer : Look how tiny this room is.
Malory Archer : Oh, my God, it's like a broom closet.
Sterling Archer : And yet, a surprising amount of storage.
Malory Archer : Oh, shut up. And Cyril, very eager to know why you're still here.
Agent Lana Kane : He was just...
Cyril Figgis : ...helping Lana get settled.
Sterling Archer : Trust me, Cyril, she already settled.
