When Tina gets nervous about an oral report, Mr. Frond lends her a crystal his girlfriend claims has special powers; Bob and Linda purchase a box of imperfect produce and try to use it all before it goes bad.
Gene freaks out about growing up and tries to stay young; Linda considers trying the new hair salon next to the restaurant, but fears the wrath of her hairdresser-slash-friend Gretchen.
Louise and Mr. Fischoeder engage in a battle of wits when the Belcher kids take part in a beach clean-up for Wagstaff Volunteer Day; Teddy surprises Bob and Linda with his new look.
Tina becomes obsessed with her schoolmates ditching class during a photography assignment; the Belchers are visited by a woman who used to live in their apartment.
Gene breaks an extremely rare Christmas record from the '70s, so he and his sisters search for another copy; Teddy tries to do a neighborhood Secret Santa with Bob and Linda.
Louise discovers that Mr. Frond's plan to have the students evaluate the teachers shifts the balance of power from the teachers to the children; Bob and Linda can't agree on their final resting place.
Bob and Linda are invited to a Valentine's Day dinner at a fancy restaurant on Kingshead Island; the kids attempt to get past Jen the babysitter so they can have cheap Valentine's Day candy.
The Belchers tell their own versions of an infamous tree incident in the early years of Big Bob as they await his arrival so Tina can interview him for a school project during dinner.
Louise hides a house spider in her room after being told to get rid of it; Bob tries to make a friend outside of the people who come to the restaurant.
Gene becomes obsessed with an old handheld game, so Bob offers to help him with a school project in the hope of steering him towards more interesting pursuits; Louise and Tina take over a grocery store kiddie ride.