Zombieland: Double Tap (2019)
Woody Harrelson: Tallahassee
Photos
Quotes
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Tallahassee : I have nothing against pacifists. I just wanna beat the shit out of them.
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Tallahassee : [dressed as Santa Claus] What would you like, little girl? A pony?
Little Rock : No, I'd actually like for you to stop calling me "little girl."
Tallahassee : Well, technically, you are little and you're a girl.
Columbus : [sits in Tallahassee's lap] Well, I am not a little girl, but do you know what I would like?
Tallahassee : [pushes Columbus off of his lap] I don't give a fuck what you like.
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Tallahassee : It's time to nut up or shut up.
Albuquerque : That saying's very 2009.
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Nevada : [pointing a gun at Tallahassee] Start talking.
Tallahassee : You first!
Nevada : [loads gun]
Tallahassee : [in a childlike voice] Hi, my name's Tallahassee.
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Tallahassee : You know why she's still alive? Because zombies eat brains and she ain't got none.
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Tallahassee : [sitting behind the desk in the Oval Office] You're welcome, America!
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Tallahassee : [entering the White House] Hail to the motherfucking chief.
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Tallahassee : They ain't got what we do.
Madison : Guns.
Tallahassee : We don't have guns.
Madison : What?
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[after a T-800 zombie gets up after being shot twice]
Tallahassee : One plus one still equals two, right?
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Tallahassee : Rules are for pussies, nothing personal.
Columbus : How could that not be personal? That's like my whole thing.
Tallahassee : Yeah, you're right. It was personal.
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Tallahassee : Now from where I stand, there's only one thing we can do.
Civil War Bearded Guy : Group sex, right? No. Um... we'll fight them.
Tallahassee : You'll be the first to die, but I like your enthusiasm.
Wichita : You might die.
Columbus : Thank you for your sacrifice.
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Little Rock : Wait, why does he get to be president?
Tallahassee : Well I think would have made a damn fine president. Kissed a few hands, shook a few babies.
Wichita : You would have brought real dignity to the office.
Tallahassee : Thank you.
Wichita : You don't have what it takes. I'll be president. And I nominate Little Rock as my VP.
Little Rock : So that means I get to be president if you get killed by zombies.
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Tallahassee : [dispensing some fatherly advice] Don't do nothin' I wouldn't not do... You get what I'm saying.
Little Rock : Not really, no.
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Tallahassee : [handing Civil War Bearded Guy a mallet] Civil War General, you must know how to fight.
Civil War Bearded Guy : Sure... poverty, sexism, social injustice!
[Tallahassee pulls the mallet away from him]
