Hetalia: Axis Powers (2009–2016)
Daisuke Namikawa: Italy, Romano, Rice Cake Italy
Quotes
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Italy : It's been a while since I slept with you, Romano.
Romano : Shut up! You should have at least two beds in your place!
Italy : How weird... I usually sleep together with Germany and Japan.
Romano : [Grabs Italy's throat] You still get along with them!
[Repeatedly bashes his head into his brother's]
Italy : Bro, I can't breathe. Bro, I can't breathe!
[Cut to Germany's office; his phone is ringing. He picks it up]
Italy : Germany, save me! I'm on my bed and my brother is- ow!
Romano : Not there!
Italy : It's stuck! OW!
Romano : Put down the phone, you fool!
Italy : TAKE IT OUT!
Romano : Put it down!
[Line goes dead]
Germany : [Slightly disturbed] His brother's... stuck..."ow"... take it out...
[Germany bursts into Italy's room]
Italy : Italy, are you okay! What's going-!
[He realizes the brothers' signature hair curls are merely tangled with each other]
Italy : Germany, you're late!
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Italy : The other day, I had an extremely disgusting pizza. England made it.
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Germany : [Germany is training Italy] Alright, beginning with instructions. Today concerns your interactions in the military with your inferiors!
Italy : [Salutes] Yes, sir! Germ - er, Captain!
Germany : Okay, first off. Before they're your inferiors, they're human beings. Thus, it's important to touch them gently.
Italy : [Pets the cat he is holding] Gentle? Stroke, stroke.
Germany : And sometimes, you must be strict!
Italy : Strict! Paw out!
[Repeatedly squeezes the cat's paw]
Italy : Squish, squish, squish, squish, squish, squish, squish, squish, squish, squish, squish, squish!
[the cat licks Italy's face. He screams]
Italy : Captain! What's happening? This is mutiny! It's mutiny!
Germany : The hell are you doing, Italy!
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Germany : Dear diary. Today, Italy was attacked by England and France while I was out.
[Cut to England hitting Italy on the head]
Italy : [Whimpering] Ve, ve, ve, ve, ve, ve...
Germany : Hey! Quit hitting Italy when I'm not around!
[England runs away]
Germany : Get back here! Hit him again, and I'll shape Iona up like a heart!
[Runs after him]
France : Take this!
[Hits Italy as he cries]
Germany : [Offscreen] CUT IT OUT!
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Germany : [Training Italy, holding a grenade] I'll teach you how to use a hand grenade. First, remove and discard the pin to arm it.
[Removes the pin with his teeth and tosses the grenade, which explodes tremendously on the cliff in front of them]
Germany : Then throw it at the enemy's position... is how it goes. Think you can handle it?
Italy : [Dazed as usual] Yes, understood! If it's just that, I think I can do it if I try!
Germany : [Is then hit in the head with something] Hey, don't throw it at-!
[Turns and sees he was hit with the grenade pin, and Italy has the grenade in his mouth, humming]
Germany : You've got it backwards! Backwards! Hurry up and throw it! If you don't hurry up and throw it, you'll go "boom"!
[Screams in horror]
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[Germany is shopping at a supermarket, while a narrator comments in Japanese and English]
Narrator : You're a German. Out shopping. Luckily, you were able to obtain a bunch of sausages, but the check-out area is really crowded.
[We see all the countries lined up in the check-out area, with Germany at the end]
Narrator : This is because the cashier is Spanish, and they're known for their carefree and easy lifestyle. That's why a crowded check-out area is a daily thing to them. To make matters worse, the easygoing Greek is putting his groceries up *very* slowly. This scene is natural in Greece.
[Southern Italy, whistling nochalantly, cuts in line two people ahead of Germany, who is beginning to become frustrated]
Narrator : Then an Italian cuts in line. In Italy, cutting in line is a normal thing to do. Did that irritate you? The Austrian in front of you is even angrier.
Spain : Oh, really?
Greece : Yup.
Spain : Oh, really?
Greece : Yup.
Spain : Oh, really?
Greece : Yup.
Narrator : Oh, no! Now the Spanish and the Greek have started to chat!
Italy : [Walks up and stands in line behind Germany] Ve, ve, ve, ve, ve, ve, ve, ve...
Narrator : Another Italian. He didn't cut in line, but he's really loud. The Japanese man wants to say something, but he doesn't.
Austria : [to the cashier among the gradually increasing commotion] Hey, you! Take your job seriously! Look how long the line is! Are you listening, you moron!
Russia : Dunno, the line looks normal to me.
Spain : [Completely oblivious to the chaos] Oh, really?
Austria : For Christ's sake!
Sweden : Another peaceful day...
Finland : Well then, I'll tell you a funny joke while we're waiting in line!
[the entire line has now erupted into chattering, bickering, and America laughing obnoxiously in the background. Germany appears to be at the end of his rope]
