The Middleman (TV Series)
The Pilot Episode Sanction (2008)
Natalie Morales: Wendy Watson
Photos
Quotes
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[creature runs around noisily while being tased]
The Middleman : Heck of a mess, huh.
Wendy Watson : Excuse me?
[Creature explodes - all is quiet]
The Middleman : I said, heck of a mess. Huh.
Wendy Watson : Whatever. I'm a temp.
[sirens approach]
The Middleman : Hey, now! The heat's on its way. Okay, cowgirl, here's your marching orders. Anyone asks, this was a gas main explosion. I was never here, this conversation never took place.
Wendy Watson : Marching orders? What about that hentai tentacle monster?
The Middleman : [shrugs] Tell the truth if you want, but if you do, I'm going to have to root you like a hog and kill you.
[beat]
The Middleman : Sorry. So, what's it going to be: Keep the secret, or death?
Wendy Watson : What do you think?
The Middleman : Ma'am, specificity is the soul of all good communication.
Wendy Watson : [beat] Yes. Duh.
[his wristwatch Voice Stress Analyzer reads 99%]
The Middleman : Outstanding. You're good under pressure.
Wendy Watson : Are you hitting on me?
The Middleman : Just making an observation.
Wendy Watson : [not quite under her breath] Hellooo, nutjob, party of one.
The Middleman : No, Ma'am. I'm just The Middleman.
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[Wendy Watson is on the phone at the receptionist desk of AND Labs]
Wendy Watson : Yes, Mother, I am still dating that guy, and his name is Ben.
[listens]
Wendy Watson : No, he is *not* a homosexual... he's in film school.
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[Title Card: Corridor to the illegal sublet Wendy shares with another young, photogenic artist. 7:00 P.M.]
Noser : Yo, Wendy Watson.
Wendy Watson : Hey, Noser.
Noser : Who's the Man?
Wendy Watson : That would be Shaft, Noser.
Noser : What kind of man?
Wendy Watson : A complicated man.
Noser : And who understands him?
Wendy Watson : No one but his woman.
Noser : Right on.
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Lacey Thornfield : I'm a confrontational spoken-word performance artist. I confront. I speak. Art.
[beat]
Lacey Thornfield : What do you do, DubDub?
Wendy Watson : Well, I save the world in my own way. Did I get any calls?
Lacey Thornfield : Yeah, your Mom called to ask if you're a lesbian... and Ben called! He wants to come later... he has a surprise for you.
Wendy Watson : Did he say anything about world travel, champagne, or diamonds?
Lacey Thornfield : [chuckles] What's it like being somebody's beard?
Wendy Watson : He's in film school.