Siskel & Ebert (TV Series)

Fool's Gold/In Bruges/Vince Vaughn's Wild West Comedy Show/The Hottie & the Nottie/Welcome Home, Roscoe Jenkins (2008)

A.O. Scott: Self - Guest Host

Quotes 

• A.O. Scott - Guest Host : Well, speaking of cinematic masterpieces: There are many things that you could call Paris Hilton: "Heiress", "celebutante", and some other words that I'm too much of a gentleman to say out loud. But "actress" is probably not one of them. And "movie" seems like an equally inapt description of "The Hottie and the Nottie", a horror. Not a horror MOVIE, just a horror, that was spared a straight-to-DVD release just to torment me. Yes, I take it personally.

• A.O. Scott - Guest Host : It's stupidly written, horrendously directed, and barely even acted at all, on a cinematic par with a public service documentary about gum disease, or toenail fungus, or chronic acne. Come to think of it, that's pretty much what this movie IS. And I would rather suffer from all those ailments at once than see even a frame of "The Hottie and the Nottie" again.

  Richard Roeper - Host : It is, it is, excruciatingly...

  A.O. Scott - Guest Host : You're trembling!

  Richard Roeper - Host : ...Painfully, horribly, terribly awful in ways that, well, that you just actually did a great job of describing, Tony.

  A.O. Scott - Guest Host : Thank you, so we agree.

  Richard Roeper - Host : Y'know, nobody in this movie, I think, really should have a career in movies. None of the actors...

  A.O. Scott - Guest Host : No.

  Richard Roeper - Host : ...Nobody who is involved with it. I think you could go into...

  A.O. Scott - Guest Host : No, I think even...

  Richard Roeper - Host : ...Any dinner theater...

  A.O. Scott - Guest Host : ...The grips and the make-up people!

  Richard Roeper - Host : ...from small town America, kidnap everybody off the stage and put them in a movie, and they'd be much better than this.

• Richard Roeper - Host : [reviewing "The Hottie and the Nottie"]  Paris Hilton, the conceit that she's somehow this great beauty, she looks like a porn star after a really long weekend, especially in close-up.

  A.O. Scott - Guest Host : Ouch, now that's-

  [chuckles] 

  Richard Roeper - Host : I mean, the title alone should keep people away.