The Simpsons (TV Series)

E Pluribus Wiggum (2008)

Nancy Cartwright: Bart Simpson, Nelson Muntz, Ralph Wiggum

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ralph Wiggum : [at the Lincoln Memorial, sitting on Lincoln's lap]  I want a tricycle, and a dog who won't chew my Hot Wheels, and a brighter future for America. I'm Ralph Wiggum, and I've been a good boy.

• Lisa Simpson : Ralph can't be president. He's the dumbest person on the dumbest percentile group.

  Homer Simpson : Lisa, being president is easy. You just point the army and shoot.

  Lisa Simpson : And Ralph is only eight years old. It says in the Constitution you have to be thirty-five.

  Bart Simpson : The Constitution? I'm pretty sure the Patriot Act killed it to ensure our freedoms.

  Homer Simpson : [sarcastic]  "Oh, the Patriot Act is so terrible! The government might find out what library books I take out!" What's next? Finding out what operas I go to?

  [high-fives Bart] 

• Kent Brockman : Ralph, both parties want to offer you their nomination. Whom do you like?

  Chief Wiggum : Go ahead, Ralphie. You're invited to two parties: One with a donkey and one with an elephant. Who do you like?

  Ralph Wiggum : ...Elmo?

  Kent Brockman : Ah, Admiral Elmo Zumwalt, Richard Nixon's chief of naval operations. So, Ralph's a Republican!