WandaVision (TV Mini Series)

On a Very Special Episode... (2021)

Asif Ali: Norm

Quotes 

• Norm : Now tell me this. If I send an e-mail, where would I put the stamp?

• Norm : Please help me. What day is it? How long has it been? Where's my phone? I have to call my sister.

  Vision : Norm.

  Norm : She's taking care of our dad, he's sick. Where is my phone?

  Vision : Calm yourself, Norm. I can't understand what you're trying to tell me.

  Norm : You have to stop her.

  Vision : Stop who?

  Norm : She's in my head. None of it is my own. It hurts. It hurts so much. Just make her stop. Just make her stop!

• Norm : So you're telling me this is a typewriter, a Rolodex, and a calendar all in one? What else can it do? Find me a wife?

  Vision : Eventually, yes.

  Norm : It's a hell of a thing watching you work with these computers, Vision. It's like you speak their language.

  Vision : What do you think, Norm? Should we surf the Internet?

  Norm : Cowabunga, dude.

  [connecting] 

  Norm : Oh, hey, look, we got electronic mail already.

  Vision : It's called an e-mail, Norm.

  [Norm rummages in his desk drawer] 

  Vision : What are you looking for?

  Norm : Letter opener.

  Vision : Ah, we don't need that. We're already cutting-edge.

  Norm : [opening the e-mail, in monotone with everyone except Vision]  "S.W.O.R.D. top-secret communique. Authenticate. Doctor Darcy Lewis' findings regarding Maximoff's anomaly. High levels of radiation present at perimeter. Effect on Westview residents unknown. Please advise."

  [laughter] 

  Norm : Well, come on, pal. What are we gonna write back? You're the office funny guy.