Schitt's Creek (TV Series)

Life Is a Cabaret (2019)

Jennifer Robertson: Jocelyn Schitt

Quotes 

• David Rose : Stevie!

  Stevie Budd : I'm sorry I'm late. I went to Almdale and got stuck in traffic.

  Jocelyn Schitt : Stevie! Thank god you're here!

  David Rose : I'm sorry. I never should have told you!

  Stevie Budd : No! Patrick gave me his blessing to pick something up. I hate driving to Almdale I could have done this any other time this week but I will yell at Patrick later.

  David Rose : I thought you were upset?

  Stevie Budd : These are for you. Soon you'll be moving in with Patrick and I won't be around to give you towels when you need them.

  David Rose : Thank you. I love the monogram and the thread colour choice. I love you in this outfit!

  Stevie Budd : Hey! Pretty soon you're going to be a married man. Oh! Mrs. Rose, Were you planning on taking my place?

  Moira Rose : No, I was just here to offer support. Excuse me I'll just go.

  [Weeping] 

  David Rose : Good luck!

• David Rose : [Standing on the chair]  Everyone? I would just like to say a big congratulations to Team Cabaret. You guys were awesome. Speaking of love...

  Roland Schitt : [Raspy voice]  Somebody got engaged!

  David Rose : Speaking of love, I'm so glad that you're all here because Patrick and I have an announcement to make.

  Jocelyn Schitt : [Very drunk]  They're getting married!

  David Rose : Jocelyn! I'm the one standing on the chair! Two years ago I went to fill out some paperwork for my business license and little did I know I would meet the love of my

  [Moira's phone starts ringing] 

  David Rose : MY. GOD!

  Moira Rose : Sorry, this is me. It's probably press. I'm sorry David I have to take this. I already know about your engagement!

  [blows David kisses] 

  Ronnie Lee : So you're engaged to him?

  David Rose : Okay, so this shouldn't be so hard!

  Alexis Rose : Oh my god, David spit it out!

  David Rose : Oh my god! Fine! I met someone who changed my life and I don't know what I would do without him? So yes, we all know that Patrick and I are engaged!

  Moira Rose : NO! NO! NO!

  Stevie Budd : My God!

  Johnny Rose : [Everyone runs into the other room to find Moira collapsed on the floor]  If it's a bad review Moira I wouldn't trust local critics.

  Moira Rose : They shelved the Crowing! It's over.

  [Moira crawls into a closet, shuts the door and starts crying] 

  Johnny Rose : [Standing in front of the closet door]  Show's over people! Nothing here to see.

  David Rose : Okay everyone if you can just leave your champagne flutes here. Unless you still want to make a toast?

  [Patrick shakes his head no] 

  David Rose : Okay just leave your champagne flutes here. Thank you!

• David Rose : [Looking at Patrick]  I told Stevie this morning the next thing I know she's nowhere to be found. People who I haven't even talked to are coming up and talking to me. I just wish this whole engagement announcement hadn't gotten so out of control.

  Jocelyn Schitt : Gentlemen, pre-show drama aside I just want to say congratulations to the future Mr and Mr or is it Misters?

  David Rose : See what I mean? Now Jocelyn how did you find out?

  Jocelyn Schitt : Moira, or maybe Alexis.

  Patrick Brewer : Thanks, Jocelyn but I'm a little more concerned about the show.

  Jocelyn Schitt : Don't worry! Moira said she has a backup plan.