(2007 Video)

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Truly terrible excuse for porn; claustrophobic and inane
lor_12 August 2016
Porn is littered with hack directors, most of today's big-name "award-winning" (sic, sic) video makers qualify for that insult. But there also exists a vast number of obscure, anonymous souls who redefine the term and clearly "Vonn FInk" is one of them.

His "Ultra Violett" is a concept video, each segment given a color and unspooling without rhyme or reason. They are all set in tiny, cramped quarters, a bathroom or a set that looks like a teeny storage room. This would make a real filmmaker have tremendous problems in terms of lighting and camera placement, let alone blocking the actors. But for Mr. Fink it's just another deranged non-idea.

The claustrophobia made me nauseous, while the sex content is mechanical junk. As is often the case, these hack and mega-hack directors hire the top female talent, which for the average porn fan and so-called Adult industry "critics" masks the helmer's lack of talent. But here several of my favorites, like Nautica and Brooke Banner are wasted. An obscure British actress Leah Jaye who migrated to Hollywood pops up in the cast and is lost in the shuffle.

Oddest touch, proving that even idiots have pretensions to artistry, has Katarina Kat doing Cirque du Soleil moves in the nude, suspended up in the air from rings as interstitial soft-core material, hardly successful in knitting this mess together. For a video saluting colors it is on the contrary drab and relentlessly ugly.

It's called "a Vonn Fink loop" in the dumb tradition Spike Lee inadvertently started 30 years ago with his designation of his films as joints. Fink's 88 minutes long stinker is an insult to the loop makers of the '60s and '70s.
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