Garfield and Friends (TV Series)
Attention Getting Garfield/U.S. Acres: Swine Trek/It Must Be True! (1989)
Lorenzo Music: Garfield
Photos
Quotes
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[while Odie is admired and complimented by folks outside]
Garfield : It figures. Dumb people like dumb animals.
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Jon Arbuckle : [brings a bowl of food] I have a special treat for someone.
Garfield : Special treat? I hope it's lasagna or chocolate, chocolate chip ice cream or maybe both mixed together.
Jon Arbuckle : [places the bowl down on the floor] Here you go, fella.
Garfield : Aw, Jon's always been so nice to me. So caring, so thoughtful.
[Odie comes and begins eating the food in the bowl, and Jon walks off]
Garfield : [to Odie] I hope your teeth fall out the day before Thanksgiving.
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Garfield : [walks past Floyd] Hi, Floyd. Haven't seen you on the show this season.
[Floyd is busy setting up his house and doesn't notice Garfield]
Garfield : I said, "Hi, Floyd"!
Floyd Mouse : [startled] Yipes! Oh, hiya, Garfield.
Garfield : Even mice don't notice me.
Floyd Mouse : Hey, how's Odie these days?
Garfield : How's Odie? Why don't you ask how I am? Nobody pays attention to me!
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Garfield : This is one of those days when it doesn't pay to get out of bed. Maybe even one of those weeks.
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Floyd Mouse : Some people like dogs.
Garfield : A lesser cat would feel threatened by Odie's popularity, but I'm too big to let it bother me. Besides, my favorite show's on.
[Garfield turns on the TV]
Announcer : [on TV] Ladies and gentlemen, Odie and Friends!
Garfield : ODIE and Friends?
[to Floyd]
Garfield : We are very close to the end of civilization as we know it.
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Garfield : Remember, audience, if you heard it on television...
Audience : It must be true!
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Garfield : You know how they make raisins? Don't believe that story about sun-dried grapes. Actually, they shrink down bowling balls.
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Garfield : Remember, you can believe everything you ever hear anyone say on TV. No one on TV ever lies.
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Garfield : For our last item tonight, an incredible but true fact about dogs. Dogs have no brains.
[shows an x-ray of Odie]
Garfield : Observe this x-ray. See? Nothing, nada, empty. The lights are on, but nobody's home.
[Odie whimpers as Garfield removes the x-ray]
Garfield : Remember that, folks. Dogs have no brains. If we say it on television, it must be true.
[Garfield hears barking and growling, then is shocked to see that the audience is filled with many dogs, all whom are furious about his remark]
Garfield : Uh, no brains... and they... and they never harm cats.
[terrified, Garfield flees]
Garfield : Because cats are poisonous! Chomp a cat and you die!
[the dogs chase Garfield into a stage room and the door closes]
Garfield : All cats know karate!
[the dogs start beating up on Garfield]
Garfield : Dogs love cats! It's true!
[the dogs continue beating Garfield]
Garfield : Help!
[the thrashing stops, the door opens, and a bruised Garfield walks out]
Garfield : I will never lie again.
[Garfield collapses]
Announcer : That's right. He will never lie again. And remember, if they said it on television, it must be...
Garfield : Oh, shut up.