Two and a Half Men (TV Series)

Golly Moses, She's a Muffin (2006)

April Bowlby: Kandi

Photos 

Quotes 

• Charlie Harper : So, how big a difference are we talking about ?

  Kandi : It's *huge*.

  Charlie Harper : Really?

  Kandi : Oh, yeah. With you, sex is kinda like going on Space Mountain. It's a good ride, but there's never any real danger.

  [Charlie looks a little puzzled] 

  Kandi : With Alan, it's like being in the back seat of a car driven by a really smart kangaroo. He may go up on the curb a couple of times, but he'll get you there.

  Charlie Harper : Okay. Thanks for clearing that up.

  [Kandi leaves room] 

  Charlie Harper : [knowing he's won]  There's a two hour wait for Space Mountain.

• Charlie Harper : Isn't there something you could be doing?

  Berta : Well...

  [turns to look at Kandi] 

  Berta : I could go rub some oil on her, but I don't trust myself.

  Charlie Harper : Berta, please don't take this the wrong way, but it's been a long time for me... and you're starting to turn me on.

  Berta : I'm outta here.

  Kandi : [Kandi enters the kitchen as Berta is leaving]  Hi, Berta!

  Berta : Hey, baby.