The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet (TV Series)
Tuba Incident (1953)
Ozzie Nelson: Ozzie Nelson
Quotes
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[Ozzie and Harriet begin to disagree over a newspaper article about a woman who wants her husband to stop playing the tuba at home]
David Nelson : Our English teacher says that open discussion is the backbone of our nation.
Ozzie Nelson : Well, that's true, David, if the subject is something sensible. I mean, just because some idiotic woman won't allow her husband to play a tuba in his own home, that isn't even worthy of discussion.
Harriet Nelson : Well, now, how can you say she's an idiotic woman? You don't even know her.
Ozzie Nelson : There's an old legal term, Harriet: Res Ipsa Loquitur - the thing speaks for itself.
Harriet Nelson : Yes, and when it's a tuba, it speaks in very low tones.
Harriet Nelson : [Ricky is distorting his face and crossing his eyes] Ricky, what are you doing?
Ricky Nelson : I'm making believe I'm playing a tuba.
Harriet Nelson : Stop it. You look silly.
David Nelson : I'll bet that Mr Studelmeyer sure looks silly.
Ozzie Nelson : Now wait a minute, David, how can you sit there and make a statement like that? You've never even seen the man.
Ricky Nelson : There's an old legal term: Raise up the locomotive.