Frasier (TV Series)

Dinner Party (1999)

Kelsey Grammer: Dr. Frasier Crane

Photos 

Quotes 

• Niles : This is absurd! Why don't we just call Allison up and ask her what she thinks is so strange about us? We can both get her on an extension.

  Frasier : [sarcastic]  Better yet, why don't we just get on a bicycle built for two, ride over there, and ask her what she thinks is so strange about us!

• Niles : Why is Joaquin on such a strict diet?

  Frasier : Because the Joaquin they're bringing to dinner is... their foster child! From a tiny village on the pampas. He speaks no English, and he gets nauseated when he eats American food!

  Niles : [confused]  So, he's not the conductor of the Buenos Aires Philharmonic?

  Frasier : Oh, you are SO "that other one"!

• Allison Walburt : [Frasier and Niles listen to a phone message]  Does it matter? You get the one, you get that other one. Personally, I think the whole arrangement's a little...

  Harry Walburt : Is that thing off the hook?

  Allison Walburt : Oh my God!

  [hangs up] 

  Niles : You see, she never said odd. We're getting upset over nothing.

  Frasier : Nothing? Is there a good end to that sentence? "Personally, I think the whole arrangement is a little" what? Charming?

• Niles : What about the 11th?

  Frasier : No, concert tickets.

  Niles : I don't have that marked.

  Frasier : Yes, I'm taking a date.

  Niles : Well isn't that nice.

  [writes in] 

  Niles : 11th, "expect desperate last minute call from F." Anything the next week?

• Frasier : [Roz enters in fancy evening dress. Daphne is to the side in a robe, she holds another dress]  Oh, Roz! That's lovely!

  Daphne : Oh! We have twenty minutes.

  [both ladies start for Daphne's room] 

  Niles : What's going on?

  Roz : There's a huge reception at the British Consulate tonight. Daphne got us tickets!

  Daphne : [ladies continue toward Daphne's room]  Who knows, Roz? You just may meet a charming British lord who'll make you a lady!

  Niles : [to Frasier]  At this point, I think it would take the actual Lord to make her a lady.

• Niles : I still have one blackball left.

  Frasier : At this point, I don't think one is going to make any difference.

  Niles : It will to me. I'm using it on myself.

• Niles : So where does that leave us?

  Frasier : Well, let's see... we have a third-rate caterer with a record, two lushes, a couple who think we're both nutcases, an Argentine wild child and Roz!

  [throws down list] 

  Frasier : Dinner is served.

• Niles : Oh, you know who might be available: Tyler Wilkins.

  Frasier : Doesn't he work with Cornell?

  Niles : Oh, dear God, no. They are mortal enemies: they were catering a seafood banquet when Cornell flew into a rage because Tyler had ordered Mahi Mahi instead of Ahi. Of course, Tyler blamed it on Cornell's stutter and they haven't spoken since.

• Niles : Allison Walburt can say what she wants. Why should we care a whit about what anybody else thinks. Am I right?

  Frasier : Absolutely! Dad, do you think we're odd?

  Martin Crane : No, you're not odd. You're just, special. Your mother told me that when you were kids and I still believe it.

• Frasier : Dad, do you think we're odd?

  Martin Crane : No, you're not odd. You're just special. Your mother told me that when you were kids, and I still believe it.

  Frasier : Yes, but... do you think we spend too much time together?

  Martin Crane : What kind of questions are these? You're close. Lots of brothers are close.

  Frasier : Yes, I supposed you're right about that. Yes, I mean, the Gershwins, the Wright Brothers...

  Niles : Told you. We're getting upset over nothing.

  Martin Crane : Of course, then there were the Collyer Brothers.

  Niles : The Collyer Brothers?

  Martin Crane : Oh, yeah - a couple of nutsos. Shared an apartment in New York their whole lives. They even built a maze out of newspapers in that only they knew how to get through. Then it collapsed on one of them, and the other one just sat there with the dead body until the neighbors complained about the smell. Pretty crazy story, huh? You recycle right, Niles?