Two and a Half Men (TV Series)

The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up with a Hump (2003)

Jon Cryer: Alan Harper

Photos 

Quotes 

• Alan : [Charlie has arranged a "play-date" for Jake]  You're hitting on the mother, aren't you?

  Charlie : Can't slip one past you, can I?

  Alan : That's not what a play-date is for.

  Charlie : What? The kid plays, and I have a date. Everybody wins.

• Alan : Jake, for the last time, nobody got "creamed". No one won, no one lost.

  Jake : Yeah, except for us. Twelve to two.

  Charlie : Well, it doesn't matter if you win or lose. It's whether or not you beat the spread.