Two and a Half Men (TV Series)

Camel Filters and Pheromones (2004)

Conchata Ferrell: Berta

Photos 

Quotes 

• Prudence : Hi, Alan. What kind of car do you drive?

  Alan Harper : Uh, uh, a Volvo station wagon.

  Prudence : [to Charlie]  What do you got?

  Charlie Harper : [hurriedly]  I got nothing. Not a damn thing!

  Jake Harper : [Jake enters]  Hey, Prudence! I set up my X-box. You ready to play?

  Prudence : Sure!

  Berta : [from off screen]  Get to work, Prudence!

  Prudence : Maybe later, handsome.

  [under her breath] 

  Prudence : Stupid old woman.

  Jake Harper : Isn't she wonderful?

  Alan Harper : [simultaneously with Charlie]  Dear God!

  Charlie Harper : [simultaneously with Alan]  Oh, Hell!

• Berta : [speaking of her granddaughter, who is spending the day with her]  She's playing with Jake.

  Alan Harper : Oh, good! A little playmate for Jake. That'll give him something to do for today.

  Charlie Harper : I just hope they're quiet, 'cause I've got a lot of work to do.

  Prudence : [entering, wearing a skimpy top and skimpier hip-hugger jean shorts]  Nana, did you throw out my cigarettes again?

  Alan Harper : [simultaneously with Charlie]  Dear God!

  Charlie Harper : [simultaneously with Alan]  Oh, Hell!