That '70s Show (TV Series)

I'm a Boy (2004)

Ashton Kutcher: Michael Kelso

Photos 

Quotes 

• Steven Hyde : No. No, man, there is no way I'm going on a date with your ex-girlfriend who's now my girlfriend, and your new girlfriend who doesn't want to be your girlfriend, but is pregnant with your child. That's like, hillbilly territory.

  Michael Kelso : I'll pay.

  Steven Hyde : I'm in.

• Michael Kelso : Okay, Brooke, here's the thing: We should date.

  Brooke : Michael, I'm pregnant with your child. Pretty much the best and worst things about dating have already happened to us.

• [to Eric and Donna] 

  Michael Kelso : There's no groping in the circle! We made that rule for Fez, but it goes for everyone.

• Jackie Burkhart : So, hey. Maybe a good way to break the ice would be for everyone to tell a few things about themselves. I'll go first. I like make-up and diets, and Steven, here, likes black things and throwing stuff at glass.

  Brooke : Okay. Well, I was valedictorian in my class, I run marathons, and I tutor kids in Latin.

  Michael Kelso : Well, I egged the valedictorian of my class. And a marathon runner. Oh, and some kids that took Latin!

  Steven Hyde : This is fun.

• Michael Kelso : We might not be the perfect match, but I really, really like you. And I think maybe us having this baby together is, like, fate.

  Brooke : Michael, fate is when two people meet on a train, or in Paris. Not in the bathroom at a Molly Hatchet concert.

  [she walks away] 

  Michael Kelso : Fate! Man, never use a word in a fight if you don't really, really know what it means.

• Brooke : Okay, but don't pretend you want to go out with me because you feel guilty.

  Michael Kelso : I wanna go out with you because you're hot!

  Brooke : I'm not hot - I've gained six pounds...

  Michael Kelso : That's okay, 'cause it's mostly in your boobs! See, Nature does this to keep us around when you girls chunk out.