Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (TV Series)

Bar Association (1996)

Armin Shimerman: Quark

Photos 

Quotes 

• Quark : Captain, believe me, I want this strike settled as much as you do.

  Captain Sisko : Then settle it.

  Quark : It's not that simple.

  Captain Sisko : Make it simple. Sit down with your brother and hammer out an agreement today.

  Quark : Captain, I'm afraid you don't understand what a delicate situation this is. Even talking with strikers would be a violation of the most sacred precepts of Ferengi culture.

  Captain Sisko : Maybe I don't know much about Ferengi culture, but I do know who holds the lease on your bar.

  Quark : The Federation... and I couldn't ask for better landlords.

  Captain Sisko : That's because we don't ask you to pay your rent, or to reimburse us for your maintenance repairs, or the drain on the station's power supply.

  Quark : You're a very generous people.

  Captain Sisko : Until today.

  [takes out a padd] 

  Captain Sisko : Let's see. Five years of back rent, plus power consumption, plus the repairs. Do you know how much latinum that is?

  Quark : A lot.

  Captain Sisko : That's right.

  Quark : I'll talk to my brother.

  Captain Sisko : I'm glad we're in agreement.

• Quark : Rom, we shouldn't be fighting. We're brothers.

  Rom : Not when it comes to business. We're nothing but employer and employee. You've said so yourself.

  Quark : I was wrong.

  Rom : No. You weren't.

• Quark : I've reconsidered it. My decision stands.

  Rom : But brother...

  Quark : *Don't* "brother" me! In this bar, you are not my brother. You're my employee. And employees have no right to question the management's decisions!

• Quark : The only thing I regret is not being an only child.

• Quark : Rom, you have to listen to me. The FCA does not answer to anyone. And if Brunt decides to get rid of you, I won't be able to stop him.

  Rom : Look at it this way: if Brunt gets rid of me, then all your problems are solved - you always said you wanted to be an only child!

• Rom : You never cared what happened to me before.

  Quark : I always cared about you. I tried to protect you, save you from yourself.

  Rom : How? By telling me I was an idiot my whole life?

  Quark : I had to be tough on you; I was trying to make you a better Ferengi.

  Rom : What you were trying to do was make yourself feel important. Making me feel dumb made you feel smart. But I'm not dumb! And you're not half as smart as you think you are!

• Rom : [of Leeta]  She kissed me!

  Quark : There's no accounting for taste.

• [Brunt's Nausicaan henchmen are throwing darts at each other's chest] 

  Quark : Doesn't that hurt?

  Brunt : I'm sure it does. Most Nausicaan games do.

• Quark : The only thing this Bajoran Cleansing Ritual has cleansed is my profit margin.

• Quark : Major! I must say, you are looking particularly cleansed today!

  Major Kira : Just get me two mugs of synthale, a double order of hasperat and, uh... hold the conversation.

  Quark : No wonder I missed you.

• Quark : [a wounded Quark is lying on a biobed in the Infirmery; he has a mechanical medical device on his forehead and a black eye. He is talking to Rom about his injuries]  Those Naussicans shattered my left eye socket, broke two of my descending ribs and punctured my lower lung. If Odo didn't come when he did, I would be...

  [he pauses at how close he was to dying] 

• Quark : If this is a surprise birthday party, you're a month late.