South Park (TV Series)

The Death Camp of Tolerance (2002)

John 'Nancy' Hansen: Mr. Slave

Quotes 

• Mr. Garrison : God-damnit!

  Mr. Slave : How'd it go?

  Mr. Garrison : This is unbelievable, Mr. Slave! It seems no matter what I do I can't get fired!

  Mr. Slave : The principal didn't fire you?

  Mr. Garrison : No! The parents felt so bad that their kids didn't want to attend my class anymore that they wanna give me the Courageous Teacher award this Friday at the Museum of Tolerance!

  Mr. Slave : Oh, Jesus Christ.

  Mr. Garrison : I mean, I stuck a gerbil up your ass and they wanna give me a Goddamn medal!

  Mr. Slave : Well it sounds to me like the principal's just hiding things from everybody. What you need to do is let the parents see what kind of demented faggot you are.

  Mr. Garrison : Oh well-

  [stops and thinks] 

  Mr. Garrison : Hey, that's right, Mr. Slave.

  [paces a bit] 

  Mr. Garrison : The parents have to see for themselves.

  [snaps his fingers] 

  Mr. Garrison : The awards ceremony! Well we'll put on a show they'll never forget!

• Mr. Garrison : I'm not saying the rest of the school year will be easy. In fact, it's going to be long and hard.

  [does motions for both words - the palms facomg each other and pulling apart, then two fists] 

  Mr. Garrison : Really long and really hard.

  [emphasizes the motions] 

  Mr. Slave : Oh Jesus Christ.

  Mr. Garrison : Ehewww, the first thing we're gonna be learning about is communist Russia.

  [Starts writing Stalin on the board] 

  Eric Cartman : [Making a paper airplane]  No, Kenny. What are you doing, Kenny?

  Mr. Garrison : Now, Stalin was a big silly when it came to...

  Eric Cartman : Kenny, no! Don't do it, Kenny!

  [fires the plane off. It hits the board and falls away] 

  Mr. Garrison : Eric, did you just throw a paper airplane?

  Eric Cartman : No, it was Kenny!

  Mr. Garrison : Very funny, Eric! Kenny's dead!

  Stan Marsh : Yeah, but Cartman drank Kenny's remains, and now Kenny's soul is trapped in Cartman's body.

  The Class : Yeah!

  Mr. Garrison : That does it! I will not put up with foolishness in my class! It's time for punishmenmt!

  [reaches into his desk and pulls out a paddle, then strikes it against his left palm twice. He walks over to Mr. Slave and has him bend over] 

  Mr. Garrison : Take it Mr. Slave!

  [swats him three times on the ass] 

• Mr. Garrison : Say, Mr. Slave?

  Mr. Slave : Yes, Mr. Garrison?

  Mr. Garrison : I had a dream last night where you were a real dick!

  Mr. Slave : Why would you dream I was being an asshole?

  Mr. Garrison : No, no! I was the asshole.

• Death Camp Guard : [Nazi voice]  Here, you vill be subjected to veeks of torture.

  Mr. Slave : Ooh, this sounds like it could be fun.