The Sopranos (TV Series)
Members Only (2006)
James Gandolfini: Tony Soprano
Photos
Quotes
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Tony Soprano : I stopped at a light yesterday and I see this nanny, black girl, pushin' a baby carriage. Comin' the other way, was another one with this old lady in a wheelchair starin' off into space.
Dr. Jennifer Melfi : The circle of life.
Tony Soprano : Circle-jerk of life. Where's the dignity?
Dr. Jennifer Melfi : If you're lucky, in the end you can let go of you pride. Let your loved ones care for you.
Tony Soprano : I'd rather they hold a pillow over my face.
Dr. Jennifer Melfi : I find it interesting you would say that. You tried to smother your mother with a pillow.
Tony Soprano : What?
Dr. Jennifer Melfi : In the hospital after her stroke.
Tony Soprano : The fuck I did! I grabbed a pillow but it was... just to keep my hands occupied.
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Tony Soprano : What was your mother like? She ever let you down, do anything to hurt your feelings?
Dr. Jennifer Melfi : Of course she did. She was controlling, manipulative at times. She also never tried to kill me.
Tony Soprano : I pushed her over the edge.
Dr. Jennifer Melfi : By placing her in a lovely retirement community.
Tony Soprano : It's a nursing home!
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Christopher Moltisanti : You ever think what a coincidence it is that Lou Gehrig died of Lou Gehrig's disease?
[everyone laughs]
Tony Soprano : You're gonna make that same stupid joke every time that comes up?
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Tony Soprano : What you lose a little weight?
Agent Dwight Harris : Ah...
Vito Spatafore : You look good. Atkins, right?
Agent Dwight Harris : I caught a parasite over there. Doctors don't know what it is.
Christopher Moltisanti : What do they eat, tabooli?
Agent Dwight Harris : Actually that's why I'm here. I been dyin' for a Satriale's veal parm hero.
[walks in]
Christopher Moltisanti : Fuck him. I hope that parasite eats his asshole out.
Tony Soprano : [shrugs] Kinda feel bad for the guy.
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Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr. : You have such a low opinion of people?
Tony Soprano : Let me tell you somethin', A.J. I don't care how close you are, in the end your friends are gonna let you down. Family: they're the only ones you can depend on.
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Corrado 'Junior' Soprano : I lost my uppers.
Tony Soprano : Probably upstairs.
Corrado 'Junior' Soprano : God fuck it all!
Tony Soprano : Relax, will ya? We'll find them.
Corrado 'Junior' Soprano : The phone keeps ringing, and then they hang up.
Tony Soprano : It's probably salespeople.
Corrado 'Junior' Soprano : I know who it is!
Tony Soprano : Pussy Malanga, I know. We'll get J. Edgar Hoover right on it.
Tony Soprano : Tell ya what, you go upstairs and look for your teet'. I'm gonna fix ya somethin' to eat. OK?
[goes to the kitchen]
Corrado 'Junior' Soprano : I had a banana in there!
Tony Soprano : Alright, we'll find that too.
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Tony Soprano : [while digging in Junior's backyard, helping him find his buried money] I'm digging half way to China, there's nothing here
Junior Soprano : Forty thousand I had, my share of the Bohack's haul from the seventies
Tony Soprano : Did you wrap it right?
Junior Soprano : Wrap what?
Tony Soprano : The money
Junior Soprano : He knows I need that fuckin money for my re-trial
Tony Soprano : Who?
Junior Soprano : You know who
Tony Soprano : No, I don't know who that's why I asked you
Junior Soprano : Malanga
Tony Soprano : Will you stop with that? Pussy Malanga's dead, 6 years now. I should dig him up already
Junior Soprano : [Not realizing his repeating himself caused by dementia] forty thousand I had, my share of the Bohack's haul from the seventies
Tony Soprano : We'll look later, your going to be late for the doctor
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Tony Soprano : [to Janice after she and Bobby arrived late] let me ask you something: is your time more valuable than mine?
Junior Soprano : Where's the baby?
Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri : Sorry Tone, the car seat, the other stuff, packing it in there takes forever, you probably remember that?
Tony Soprano : No I don't. I didn't do that crap
Janice Soprano Baccalieri : How you feeling uncle Jun?
Tony Soprano : His late enough, come on
Janice Soprano Baccalieri : A hello to your niece maybe?
Tony Soprano : [to his niece Nica while she sits in the stroller, then to Bobby] hi sweetie how are ya? Help him get ready will ya?
Janice Soprano Baccalieri : [Referring to uncle Jun, after he and Bobby left the room] so, how's he doing?
Tony Soprano : His Knucklehead Smiff, that's how his doing. His fuckin paranoid, he doesn't remember if he ate or not
Janice Soprano Baccalieri : The man is not competent
Tony Soprano : Not again with that come on
Janice Soprano Baccalieri : And he has the money for assisted living
Tony Soprano : His got legal bills up the ass
Janice Soprano Baccalieri : So, he can sell this museum and move to Green Grove
Tony Soprano : Fuck assisted living, you remember what they did to ma?
Janice Soprano Baccalieri : She was thriving there
Tony Soprano : He stays where he is. His our uncle it's the least we could do
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Eugene Pontecorvo : Hey Tone
Tony Soprano : Hey
Eugene Pontecorvo : My sports book down in Roseville Baccalà's still making things unpleasant
Tony Soprano : God damn him
Eugene Pontecorvo : [while placing a gift bag on the table] listen Tone, I got you something, you Carm, and the kids: David Hume watches, eighteen karat gold, diamond center
Tony Soprano : Why do I think there's a jeweler somewhere filing a insurance claim today
Eugene Pontecorvo : Actually it ain't what it is. My aunt Eady died
Tony Soprano : No, the one that moved to California back in the sixties?
Eugene Pontecorvo : Great lady, only person in my life that made me feel special
Tony Soprano : What're you going do?
Eugene Pontecorvo : Anyway she did pretty well. She was married to Victor Bourger's agent. She left me an inheritance, just over two mill
Tony Soprano : [Leans back in his chair] whoa
Eugene Pontecorvo : [laughs] yeah
Tony Soprano : Well, congratulations. Make sure you invest it
Eugene Pontecorvo : Yeah well, that's what I kind of wanted to talk to you about. Deanne, me, and the kids you know how much we love Florida right?
Tony Soprano : What'd you want to put some money on the street down there?
Eugene Pontecorvo : I was thinking about buying a place in Fort Myers, retiring there actually
Tony Soprano : [Surprised] retiring? What're you? A hockey player?
Eugene Pontecorvo : I'm going to be fifty in three years Tone. My dad died when he was fifty-two
Tony Soprano : You took an oath Gene. There's no retiring from this
Eugene Pontecorvo : [Referring to Joseph Bonanno, the mob boss that did retire] Well, I thought about that and it was Joe Bananas
Tony Soprano : [Amused] come on huh? What about your sports book? Your other responsibilities? What am I suppose to do with those?
Eugene Pontecorvo : Benny. We know Bobby wants it. It's just that we go back a long way Tone
Tony Soprano : Yeah we do, CYO basketball, can you believe that?
Eugene Pontecorvo : It'd mean a lot to me and Deanne
Tony Soprano : Let me think about it
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Sushi Waitress : [while in a Japanese restaurant, gesturing to each piece of sushi after serving it to them] Spicy shrimp handroll: that's Nori's favorite. Special eel tail, and oysters, you tell me when you want to stop
Tony Soprano : keep it coming
Carmela Soprano : I don't know about you, but ever since we found this place, I catch myself fantasying about this
Tony Soprano : [jokingly] Me too, sometimes during sex
Carmela Soprano : So, I had a nightmare the other night, did I wake you up?
Tony Soprano : No
Carmela Soprano : [referring to Adriana La Cerva who supposedly ran away] Ade was in the house, my spec house
Tony Soprano : What, was she gonna buy it?
Carmela Soprano : We were just talking. Speaking of which, did you call that guy? The inspector at the building department?
Tony Soprano : I will, I promise
Carmela Soprano : His coming on Friday, it could the last chance I get a reversal on the stop work order
Tony Soprano : Alright, I'll call
Carmela Soprano : I wonder where she is?
Carmela Soprano : [when he doesn't respond] Ade
Tony Soprano : I told you: she probably met some guy
Carmela Soprano : Not call anyone for over a year?
Tony Soprano : [when eating a piece] What's this? There's sauce on the shrimp
Carmela Soprano : [after the waitress serves them another platter of sushi] So, I was over by Ginny's, that situation is not going so well, Johnny couped up, awaiting trial. Plus, now their fighting asset seizure, they could lose everything, the house, the condo by the shore
Tony Soprano : You know Jimmy Petrille? The rat that gave up John? He was like an uncle to him, why do you think I toss at night? It ain't just the apnea
Carmela Soprano : I noticed you haven't been taking your antidepressants
Tony Soprano : [jokingly] And yet the bonefish are back in season: we should count our blessings, the kind of season I just had
Carmela Soprano : Your right, we're very lucky
Tony Soprano : forty dollars for a piece of fish they flew in first class. I think we're more than lucky?
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Hesh Rabkin : [while they visit Hesh's s son-in-law Eli in the hospital, explaining to Tony what happened] We're having dinner Sunday, new Chinese restaurant near Mill Basin, we get jumped by three guys in a Lexus
Christopher Moltisanti : [surprised] Chinks did this?
Hesh Rabkin : [annoyed by Christopher's comment] What're you trying to be fuckin funny, you want a smack in the mouth?
Christopher Moltisanti : What? I was serious
Hesh Rabkin : [to Vito, referring to who's responsible for Eli's injuries] It was your cousin Phil Leotardo
Christopher Moltisanti : [to Tony] I told you he was a prick
Vito Spatafore : We were just with him
Tony Soprano : [to Christopher and Vito, referring to Hesh] Let him talk
Hesh Rabkin : [to Tony] I got some money on the street over there. Apparently, it got back to Phil's guy Gerry Torciano
Vito Spatafore : [referring to Gerry's nickname] The Hairdo?
Hesh Rabkin : He claims that he thought Eli here was some independent shy, trying to poach his customers
Christopher Moltisanti : [when noticing the medical device, not paying to Hesh] Is that a catheter?
Hesh Rabkin : Eli has massive internal bleeding and the fuckin skin is sheering off his hips. My daughter's beside herself
Tony Soprano : [to Vito, after thinking it over] You send someone to Brooklyn and you talk to Phil about this moot, this...
Hesh Rabkin : Gerry Torciano
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Tony Soprano : [after walking down the stairs] oh, "Joe College", where's your mother?
Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr. : she went to the outlet store with Aunt Roe
Tony Soprano : [when noticing the suit jacket hanging on the chair] is that the jacket we got you for Christmas?
Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr. : I'm lending it to Matt
Tony Soprano : [to Meadow when she walks in the room] hey, how was the interview with the internship?
Meadow Soprano : it got moved to next week
Tony Soprano : oh, would you mind keeping in the loop? Since it was my lawyer who set it up?
Meadow Soprano : [while he kisses her] ok
Tony Soprano : Matt don't have his own clothes?
Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr. : his borrowing it for a party
Tony Soprano : oh, good, you'll never see it again
Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr. : You have such a low opinion of people
Tony Soprano : let me tell you something AJ, I don't care how close you are. In the end, your friends are gonna let you down. Family, they're the only ones you can depend on