Scrubs (TV Series)

My Self-Examination (2004)

Donald Faison: Dr. Christopher Turk

Quotes 

• Dr. Christopher Turk : [Reciting his vows for Carla at their rehearsal dinner]  Carla, I love that you get cold when it's seventy-one degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts.

  [she furrows her brow at him] 

  Dr. Christopher Turk : Yeah, like you got right now! Just like that one! I love that you're the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night.

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : [hissing]  Turk!

  Dr. Christopher Turk : Dude, I'm workin' here.

  [continues] 

  Dr. Christopher Turk : And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's our rehearsal dinner. I came here tonight because, when you realize you wanna spend the rest of your life with someone, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.

  Nurse Carla Espinosa : [the music sickeningly stops on Carla's cold expression. The gathered guests look similarly nonplussed. Marco, however, claps enthusiastically]  Turk.

  Dr. Christopher Turk : Yeah, baby?

  Nurse Carla Espinosa : That's the speech from "When Harry Met Sally".

• Dr. Christopher Turk : [Reciting his vows]  Baby, you mean so much to me. That's why you my baby. And, yeah, there were babies before you, but I promise you, baby, you will be my baby forever, baby.

  [the camera pulls back to reveal that Turk is standing alone in his apartment, pantless] 

  Dr. Christopher Turk : Stop saying "baby"!

• Dr. Christopher Turk : [about Elliot]  So I take it you haven't broken up with her yet.

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Yeah, I decided to stay with her forever.

  Dr. Christopher Turk : That's great, dude. I know you think you're being nice, but I'm pretty sure Elliot doesn't want to spend her life with someone who doesn't love her.

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Oh, you know what? If it's okay with you, I'm gonna go ahead and take my relationship advice from someone whose fiancee is currently speaking to him. Ohhhh!

  Dr. Christopher Turk : Ohhhh-ho!

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : [J.D. grabs a glass off the waiter's tray]  Gimme some champagne! I need a victory sip!

• Turk : Oh my God! My future brother-in-law is an evil genius!