Roseanne (TV Series)
Language Lessons (1988)
John Goodman: Dan Conner
Photos
Quotes
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Dan Conner : Rosie, is my chili too bland?
Roseanne Conner : Absolutely not! Your chili is just like you: hot and spicy!
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Roseanne Conner : You knew when you married me that I had a sister.
Dan Conner : Yeah, well, I didn't think she'd be here every weekend.
Roseanne Conner : Oh, hell, I didn't think *I'd* be here every weekend.
Dan Conner : You know, if she had a life of her own, she wouldn't have to ruin mine. I'm telling you, honey, two minutes after she walks in the...
[Sees Roseanne mockingly hold up a pair of his boxer shorts with little red hearts]
Dan Conner : Put those down.
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Dan Conner : What's really bothering me, Jackie, is that you're over here *all* the time.
Jackie Harris : Well, Dan, if you had a *job* you wouldn't even notice so much.
[seething, Dan leaves the room]
Roseanne Conner : [to Jackie] You really must come over more often.
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Dan Conner : She's sending me a message I've waited a long time to hear. My sister-in-law's moving to North Dakota!
Becky Conner : Daaaaaad.
Dan Conner : Sorry Jackie, just kidding, *South* Dakota.
Jackie Harris : You know, there's a lot of truth in kidding.
Dan Conner : Oh come on, Jackie, don't psychoanalyze everything I say.
Roseanne Conner : Yeah, trust me, it ain't worth it.
Jackie Harris : No, I want to know, do I really annoy you?
Dan Conner : For one thing, you pick all the nuts out of the rocky road.
Jackie Harris : Well put me in front of a firing squad.
Roseanne Conner : I'm gonna put you both in front of a firing squad.
Jackie Harris : What else?
Dan Conner : You could knock.
Jackie Harris : You want me to knock when I come over? I'll knock, I'll blow a trumpet for you.
[she and Dan start talking over each other]
Roseanne Conner : [bangs on pot] Chili's ready!