Red Dwarf (TV Series)

White Hole (1991)

Chris Barrie: Rimmer

Photos 

Quotes 

• The Cat : So, what is it?

  Kryten : I've never seen one before - no one has - but I'm guessing it's a white hole.

  Rimmer : A *white* hole?

  Kryten : Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. A black hole sucks time and matter out of the Universe; a white hole returns it.

  Lister : So, that thing's spewing time...

  Lister : [donning his fur-lined hat]  ... back into the Universe?

  Kryten : Precisely. That's why we're experiencing these curious time phenomena on board.

  The Cat : So, what is it?

  Kryten : I've never seen one before - no one has - but I'm guessing it's a white hole.

  Rimmer : A *white* hole?

  Kryten : Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. A black hole sucks time and matter out of the Universe; a white hole returns it.

  Lister : [minus the hat]  So, that thing's spewing time...

  Lister : [donning his fur-lined hat, again]  ... back into the Universe?

  Kryten : Precisely. That's why we're experiencing these curious time phenomena on board.

  Lister : What time phenomena?

  Kryten : Like just then, when time repeated itself.

  The Cat : So, what is it?

  [Kryten, Rimmer, and Lister stare at Cat] 

  The Cat : Only joking.

• Kryten : I beg you to reconsider, Sir. Human history is resplendent with examples of such sacrifice. Remember Captain Oates: "I'm going out for a walk. I may be some time."

  Rimmer : Yes, but the thing is, about Captain Oates; the thing you have to remember about Captain Oates; Captain Oates... Captain Oates was a prat. If that'd been me, I'd've stayed in the tent, whacked Scott over the head with a frozen husky, and then eaten him.

  Lister : You would too, wouldn't you?

  Rimmer : History, Lister, is written by the winners. How do we know that Oates went out for this legendary walk? From the only surviving document: Scott's diary. And he's hardly likely to have written down, "February the First, bludgeoned Oates to death while he slept, then scoffed him along with the last packet of instant mash." How's that going to look when he gets rescued, eh? No, much better to say, "Oates made the supreme sacrifice," while you're dabbing up his gravy with the last piece of crusty bread.

• Rimmer : Well, if you ask me, the Eskimos had the right idea. They knew how to handle the elderly and the permanently baffled. Middle of the night, they'd take them out into the blizzard, remove their pyjamas, and just leave them to it.

  Kryten : And that's how the Eskimos cared for their old people?

  Rimmer : Absolutely. That's why there's no Eskimo word for "Eastbourne."

• Lister : I'm not gonna mish.

  Rimmer : Mish?

  Lister : What?

  Rimmer : Mish. You said "mish". You've already had two cans and your steaming.

  Lister : Rimmer! Will you relax! I know what I am doing. I am not - pished!

• [the white hole causes an alternate time pocket which Kryten is standing in] 

  Kryten : Why are you speaking so quickly, sir?

  Rimmer : I'm not speaking quickly. I'm speaking perfectly normally. It's you. You're speaking too slowly. It's like having a conversation with Paul Robeson on dope.

• Rimmer : Congratulations, Kryten, your vote has just killed everyone.

• Kryten : [Red Dwarf has shut down]  Listen. Can anyone hear anything? No. precisely. No one can hear anything. And you know why we can't hear anything?

  Rimmer : Why?

  Kryten : Because there are no sounds to hear!

  Rimmer : Kryten, isn't it about this time of year your head goes back to the lab for re-tuning?

• Holly : You're a total smeghead aren't you, Rimmer? Why are you so unable to grasp this extraordinaryly premise/

  Rimmer : What premise?

  Holly : The premise that I am about to expire in just under two minutes. Understand, moose brain?

• Kryten : Mr. Rimmer would be effectively... dead

  The Cat : Hey, things are looking up already.

  Rimmer : Forget it... whatever it is you're suggesting... forget it.

  Kryten : But the entire ship is running on emergency battery power only. With the oxygen recycler and minimal heating a lighting, I estimate that Lister and The Cat have approximately two months left, without your drain on the power they might last six. I'm sorry sir.

  Rimmer : Sorry? Why are you sorry?

  Kryten : Well the Space Corp directive 195 clearly states that in an emergency power situation a hologramatic crewmember must lay down his life in order that the living crewmembers might survive.

  Rimmer : Yes, but Rimmer Directive 271 states just as clearly: No chance you metal bastard.

  The Cat : Come on man you've gotta sacrific your life, I'm not asking you to do anything I wouldn't do.

  Rimmer : You? You'd sacrific your life for the good of the crew?

  The Cat : No, I'd sacrific *your* life for the good of the crew.