Red Dwarf (TV Series)

Future Echoes (1988)

Danny John-Jules: Cat

Quotes 

• [the Cat wants to bring ten racks of suits into the stasis booth with them. Of course, there's no room] 

  Lister : You can take two suits and that's it!

  The Cat : Two suits? Then I'm staying!

  Lister : You can't stay. By the time I come out, you'll be dead.

  The Cat : Two suits is dead!

  [Lister walks off] 

  The Cat : Hey, if I cut off my leg and leave it behind, can I take three?

• [the Cat is checking himself out in the mirror] 

  The Cat : You know, I wish I was someone else. Then I could kiss me.

• [the Cat is watching a slide show of Lister's old photos. A picture of a rather ugly person with tattoos and a pipe in their mouth appears] 

  Cat : Who's that guy?

  Lister : That's me grandmother. She brought me up. She was a great old lady. I got expelled from school once 'cause she nutted the headmaster when I came bottom in French.

• [the Cat is watching a slide show of Lister's old photos. A picture of a Bull Terrier and the lower half of a man holding its leash appears] 

  Cat : [shocked]  Who is THAT?

  Lister : That's me dad, that's the only picture I've got of him.

  Cat : He's your father? No wonder you so ugly!

  Lister : No, no, that's his dog, Hannah!

  Cat : Dog? What's a dog?

  Lister : It's just a pet.

  Cat : Ergh, ug-leee!

  [he claws at the screen] 

  Lister : Listen, you go and get your stuff and let me pack mine. OK? Will you do that for me?

  Cat : This, er, dog. He'd better not be around here any place, because if he is I may have to chase him.

  Lister : Oh, yeah?

  Cat : Yeah!

  Lister : Do you know how big they are? They're around 18 foot long. And they've got teeth as... as big as your leg.

  Cat : Yeah?

  Lister : Yeah.

  Cat : Well, I may have to chase him anyway.

  [while backing out of the room he bumps into the door frame] 

  Cat : Argh!

  [he looks left and right down the corridor for the dog]